HiatusThe Twilight Saga The New Dawn
by RunWithJacobBlack
Summary: Breaking Dawn Rewritten: With receiving Edward's note, Jacob runs off to New York & finds a new life & maybe love. After two years he returns home thinking Bella is long gone. But is she? And is there a new threat on the horizon for the Cullens & wolves?
1. Fighting No More

**Author's Note:** Well, this is a huge idea I've had going on in my head for months now – since February to be honest. I've had to hold it back until now due to all my other fan fictions and I am so glad that I finally get to write it. I got the idea firstly for my role play, The Twilight Saga the New Dawn and while making the site, I decided that I would also write it in fan fiction.

This story is for anyone who thinks Jacob didn't get his happy ending with Bella – like I think he should have. But this story has some unpredictable twists and turns – expect the unexpected in this story – and it definitely isn't going to be a short one. ;)

This story is post Eclipse and a rewrite of Breaking Dawn, as you may have already realized. Hope you guys all enjoy this fan fiction. Looking forward to your feedback, it means the whole world to me to hear you guys saying just how much your enjoying my fictions, what you're thinking about it, and what you think is going to happen next!

Happy reading. – Sky x

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><p><strong>Full Summary:<strong> After receiving Edward's note, Jacob runs off to New York when he can no longer take the hurt and pain of Bella not choosing him and the thought that she could easily be killed while being changed into a vampire.

Once in New York, he finds a new life of trouble, drinking and partying hard just to get Bella out of his head for a while and for the pain to go away – though he knows that it will never fully go away, no matter what he does. After a while in New York, he makes a new friend and maybe even love. Though, if it is a new love, Jacob denies it, for the fear of being hurt again.

By running off, Jacob thought he was no longer hurting Bella, but little did he know, he was actually hurt her more. After finding out he had left, Bella didn't feel the same way anymore. She had lost her sun, and called off the wedding to Edward with not knowing what to do or feel anymore without her best friend, her sun in her life and by her side.

After two years, Jacob comes home, thinking that Bella is long gone with Edward or either dead, or a vampire. But is she gone? Is she a vampire? Or has she finally chosen Jacob?

And with speaking to Sam, Jacob finds out that he isn't the only one who feeling something huge is coming their way. The wolves and the Cullens are going to need all the help they can get to face these new threads, especially Jacob. Could his life back in New York have anything to do with _one_ of these threats?

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><p>Some say that love is a desire. Others say love is a passion that you only have for only one person, and will only love that person for all their life. And then, it's also said, that love is hurtful, painful and sad, whether it's right or wrong, true or fake. But in the end, it's worth it, they say . . .<p>

For me, love has been many things: love, lust, desire, passion, pain and warmth. But I'm yet to see the part of it that isn't pain, because the one I love doesn't love me back. Everything I have felt came with pain also, even with feeling the love I do and did have for her. Pain was still there, right from the very start. Because it hurts to know, we're meant to be, and yet, we aren't . . .

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><p><em><strong>Preface<strong>_

As I merged from the forest, I looked up and caught her gaze. It had been so long since we had last seen one and other and here she was standing in front of what used to be my home, but that wasn't what surprised me. What surprised me was her appearance. She was more beautiful than I had ever seen her before – though she had always been beautiful within my eyes.

My eyes swept over her body as she realized it was me coming out of the forest, instead of one of the others. There were no rings on her fingers, only the usual ones she wore every day. My heart kept telling me to run up to her, hold her, kiss her and show her just what I was feeling, but my inner wolf told me to be wary, to be cautious.

She stood in disbelief and a bright smile came across her face as I was only a step away from her. "Bella," I murmured softly and almost silently. Why was she here, of all places?

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><p><strong>Fighting No More. . .<strong>

_This Chapter Was Inspired by In Another Life – The Veronicas_

Slowly I walked up to the cliffs of La Push. I wanted some peace and quiet, to be alone and work things out for myself for once. I didn't know what I was to do with Bella anymore. She was going to be a vampire, right or wrong, or she would be killed by the Volturi. She had already chosen Edward and the wedding wasn't far off. I understood what she felt for him, because, I felt just the same way for her, and it hurt like hell to know she may never be mine. I didn't know what to think, to say, to do, or feel anymore. I felt lost. That was all I felt, lost.

I hoped the cliffs would help with working things out. They seemed to calm me and clear my mind the most. The wind swept around me as I walked up the steep mountain to get to the top of the cliffs. I looked to the sky, seeing and feeling there was either a storm or snow was well on its way. I could feel it in the air that something was coming and it was coming fast. It was going to be one hell of storm, whatever kind it was. The sky was darker than I had seen it in a while.

It had only been two weeks since the fight with the new born vampires and the right side of my body was still half shattered. Carlisle said that it was safe for me to phase again, but I wasn't so sure about that with the occasional pain I felt while moving naturally. I guessed he knew what he was doing. At least I hoped he did. I was pretty sure I had been his first werewolf he had ever treated and that sort of made me nervous.

At the top of the cliffs, I looked down and out to the ocean, thinking deeply as I watched the violent waves clash against the cliffs over and over again. The water was acting to how the anger and frustration was coursing through me with each beat of my heart and moving through my veins. I felt like I was going to fade into the blackness of my inner wolf. I had felt that feeling ages ago, before _he_ came back and Bella had taken that feeling away from me, and I was grateful that she had. But now it was back, and I didn't have her to take it away again. It was all a part of the feeling I had of being lost. I felt like I didn't know myself without her by my side. I felt like I was lost without her. I always did and always had. Ever since we were little, I had known her for. And I had loved her from the second I set my eyes on her. And that love only got stronger and stronger the older I got. It never disappeared, nor had I felt anything for any other girl I had met before. I just wished she felt the same way.

I glared down at the grass in between my fingers blindly as I thought about what to do. It wasn't just Bella I had to work things out with, but also the pack. I caught Sam often thinking that I should be the Alpha. But I didn't want to be the Alpha, or even anything apart of the pack. I just wanted to be me again. I often thought about giving up my inner wolf and living a human life again. Then maybe I wouldn't be bound to anyone if I imprinted or if I already had. I didn't want to imprint, I knew who I loved and cared for, and would for the rest of my life. And it was likely, if I imprinted on someone, I would be forever bound to them, whether they chose me or not. I couldn't and wouldn't have that happen again!

I didn't know what to do, but it seemed to be everything I had to work out was to do with Bella in some way. I was sure that she was my imprint and I knew, while ever I had her around and didn't get out and meet someone else, I would forever remain thinking she was just that . . . my imprint, my soul mate, that I couldn't have, all because of _that_ leech. The very one who was going to suck the life out of her! I couldn't stand the thought! My hands started shaking, my jaw clenched. He was going to be the one who made her smile, made her day and also take her life away. Her heart beat which kept my own going. Her beautiful chocolate eyes I loved so much to stare into every time I saw her. Why would he want to take those things away, why? Why? I just didn't get it and it hurt so much that I didn't. I wanted to understand why she wanted to become one of them, but I never could wrap my head around it.

I had so much more to offer her than he did, too. I could have given her a full human or supernatural life. I could have given her a love that she could never have from that leech! Or any human for that matter . . . I just loved her that much. I could have given her a family, warmth, a heartbeat and true love without her having to give up anything, let alone her own life and I could have given her forever, too, if she wanted it.

It was all so confusing to me. Things just didn't make sense anymore. If she was my imprint, why was I second guessing it? Sam and the others never second guessed it when they imprinted. They knew right away what it was, and yet I didn't. . . How was that? I knew my feelings towards Bella, I knew just how I felt for her to know I would always love her, forever and always, but I still didn't know if she was my imprint or not. I just knew I loved her to end and that was just like an imprint, wasn't it?

There was a sudden shift in the wind and I detected a new presence. I looked over my shoulder to see Leah walking up the mountain in her human form. She knew I just wanted to be alone, that was why she had come. To taught me some more, like I needed it so badly. It was times like this I wished I were the Alpha, just to tell her and at times them, where to go! I wanted to be alone, that's it and I couldn't even ask for that much.

The second I saw her, I glared back down at the grass I was playing with while thinking, but she knew I had seen her. I just wished that she would leave me alone. That's all I wanted, to be alone to think to myself for once. It drove me crazy to not be able to think for myself in my wolf form. I always had these voices in my head, saying to do this like this and do that like that, when I just wanted it to myself and make my own choices and decisions.

She sat beside me, her arms wrapped around her legs while she looked out to the ocean. I thought after a moment of her staying silent, maybe she was up here for just the same reason as I was, but I thought that too soon.

"Just get over her Jacob. You know he's just going to kill her anyway."

I growled deeply at her comment. I looked to her darkly from the corner of my eye. I could feel my eyes had turned black from the pain she shot into me by just those few words. She looked to me when I growled and I noticed she had tensed at the sight of my eyes. Good. She knew I wasn't in a mood for her bitchiness. If I could get over her, I would have already. I wasn't the type to hang on to something that wasn't going to ever happen. But Bella was different.

"Well, once he kills her, neither of us will have anything to worry about, and then, I won't have to worry about gawking over her like I'm the one in love with her," she said so casually, like it was more of a matter of fact than anything else. I didn't care what she said or thought. It was none of her damn business, but her words still stung me to the core.

I growled again, deeper this time. The tremors started to rock through me again, but this time, it was like I hadn't felt them before. My hands turned into fists as I tried to control it. Her words had cut me more than I had ever felt before, because it was a strong possibility of him doing that – killing her. It wasn't the fact that she may not even be mine that hurt me the most now. It was the fact that I may not ever see her again, alive. I didn't care if she became a vampire. I didn't care that much anymore if she was his and not mine, as long as I could see her with some kind of life left within her. That was all I wanted from her. To see some kind of life left in her. But then, another thought came to me. Maybe she wouldn't want to be around me anymore once she's with him and turned. That stung too. I didn't want to think about it anymore.

My body had become to hurt with the tenseness I had put into it to control the tremors. My eyes closed with anger. I slowly started to calm down after a long while. My eyes reopened slowly, looking at Leah. She was smiling at me. My hands started to shake again with just seeing her smiling. She was really testing me. I wanted to hurt her like she had hurt me. It was obvious she had wanted me to lose control, but if I had, she wouldn't have wished it to happen ever again. If I had lost control of myself, with just how much she had hurt me and pushed me, she wouldn't ever forget it. I wouldn't have been able to control myself, nor would I ever forgive myself for what I knew would have happened. But I still wanted to cut her deep emotionally, and I knew _just_ the thing which would do the trick.

"If you think the way I feel about Bella is so hard for _you_ to take, all because of you listening to my thoughts, try listening to your thoughts about Sam for once! Emily doesn't need the whole freaking pack after him too, as well as you!" I growled out. I watched her face turn with pain of my words. She took off running in a blur into the forest and before long I felt the shift in the air of her phasing and running.

The second I saw her face hurt, I wished I hadn't said those words to her. I knew just how much it hurt. I felt sorry for her, I did, but she had just pushed me too far that time. I wished she would stop. I understood just how she felt with Sam. I knew those feelings and yet she still pushed me to no end about it.

Her words echoed back into my head again and again. I grimaced at the images that kept coming to my mind. Him biting her, changing her and not being able to stop before . . . I shook my head, trying to stop the images, the video my own mind had made and wouldn't stop. At times I thought my mind had a mind of its own. It didn't listen to me when I needed it to most. Those images stung like hell. I felt like I had been jabbed in the heart.

I stood up, wanting to run, for my inner animal to take over me and deal with the emotions I was feeling. My inner wolf was stronger than I was. It didn't care so much for Bella, so the pain would dull down. But I couldn't phase now. Leah was running all because of the stupid things I had said to her and I didn't want to hear her thoughts, nor share mine. I hated the pack mind at times.

I started running for home as fast as I could in my human form. Just as I got to the house door, the first few drops of rain fell upon my back. It was like snow hitting a fire. The droplets of rain turned to steam the second it touched me. I went inside and saw two letters on the table, both addressed to me. I opened the top one first and knew the moment my eyes touched the hand writing who it was from. The hand writing was old and fancy. It was clear who had written it. I didn't even want to think of his name. He wasn't worthy of a name for what he was going to do to Bella.

_**Jacob,**_

_**For the things you have done, thank you. Thank you for mending her when I couldn't. Thank you for protecting her when I wasn't around. Thank you – for her – for everything.**_

_**Edward.**_

I kept myself calm while reading the note. A slight tremor went down my spine with reading it. I felt like he had just said 'ha ha I win, Edward.' And was rubbing it in all at the same time! He most have well have! I had _only_ done those things for Bella, not for him. I wouldn't have done them for him, ever! My jaw clenched tightly as I picked up the other letter and started to read it. Its text was from a computer – it wasn't hand written at all. That was obvious. But with reading those two first lines, that was the letter which had finished me this time. It wasn't enough for him to just write out an 'I win' note, but to send the invitation of their wedding the same day; was just the topping on the cake for me.

My whole body shook as I read the invitation. It should have been me marrying her! It should have been us together! My free hand turned into a fist while I held the note. My hand was so tight I actually felt my own fingers cutting into my skin and my knuckles turning white. Blood rushed from my palm and dripped down onto the floor before I felt the wounds heal completely in a matter of seconds.

I heard my father enter the room and his concerned voice questioning me for what was wrong. My answer played over in my head and I flung open the door, struggling to get out of my shirt as I dropped the invite behind me along with my shirt. I heard my father shouting out my name, but I ignored him with letting my inner animal take over me. The rest of my clothes trailed behind me as I headed outside into the heavy rain and towards the forest. I phased and grimaced as pain shot through me from my right side with the shift, but I ignored it and kept on running as my thoughts ran wild as I ran faster through the almost darkness of night. The pain was better in this form. It wasn't so hard to deal with, but still, I had been cut straight to the heart this time.

_Sorry Jake_, Embry murmured into my head.

_Slow down! _Quil complained, trying to run to my side.

_Just leave me alone!_ I snarled, pushing harder against the ground, running faster than I had ever before. I then felt my friends worry enter my head then. They knew I was really finished this time. I was so done. Beyond done! But, I hated seeing myself through my friends' eyes. I hated seeing their worry for me. I hated it the most out of all the wolf things.

_Let him go,_ Sam ordered suddenly. I hadn't known he was there, but I should have. He was always there running with us. I felt both Embry and Quil stop and phase back by just the feeling of the air. It just left me and Sam then.

_Thank you._

_Come back when you can and want to, _he thought, and with that, Sam disappeared too. I was finally alone, all alone, like I had been wanting for so long. It was so quiet that I could hear a deer gazing not far off from me. The ocean just over the rise, and the coo of the wind when it blew through my russet pelt as I put more distance between me and La Push. I wasn't coming back, not tomorrow, not next week, not ever. They would do better without me anyway, especially _her_. I was only hurting her more and more with been around, now she didn't have to worry about me anymore. We were both free now, to live our own lives without interference from one and other. I was done with my life. I was going to start a new, if I could, that is.

I kept on running, stopping at the top of the mountain. With the wind blowing through my coat, I looked over my shoulder to my land, before turning my back on it and my old life, running off into the far horizon before my eyes, leaving everything I had ever known behind.

_Goodbye Bella_. _You're free now . . . _My eyes closed while running as I thought of her for the last time, running harder into the heavy rain, allowing it to soak me to the bone. I couldn't hear anything else apart from the heavy rain hitting me and the ground around me as it came into contact with my paws. The rain was so heavy and cold. My body was cold and lifeless, with my inner animal taking me over completely. I couldn't and wouldn't fight for her anymore. It was over . . .


	2. The Run Away Wolf

**The Run Away Wolf**

_This Chapter Was Inspired by If I Had You – Adam Lambert_

Because of my right side still causing me pain every now and then, and not knowing where I was going, each night I stopped and slept in the forest in my wolf form. Though, I didn't get any sleep which felt like rest. I was fully on guard, trying not to get caught as a giant wolf. I tried not to think of Bella, but it was hard as all hell. It _was _the hardest thing I had done in my life yet. I tried to think of my friends and the pack back home, but nothing seemed to help take the pain away. _So much for thinking of her for the last time back home_, I thought often while running. I had hoped by leaving home, I would also leave behind the pain and thoughts of Bella too. But I had been so wrong. Dead wrong to be honest!

Within a week of running, I ended up in New York City. I hadn't had any plans of any place I was running off to. I just ended up there. It was night when I came across the lights of New York. I thought that I would at least come across another town before New York, though I was trying my best to keep to the forests and woodland. I knew the pack wouldn't find me at least in New York if they were out looking. I was too far away to be tracked or found by anyone I knew back home. Though, I wasn't so sure about the police if my father put in a missing persons report. I knew also Charlie would tell everyone in America if he could to help his friend find his son. But I didn't think that dad would worry too much. I was a werewolf for crying out loud! I could protect myself from others. I just couldn't protect myself from myself. No one could, but Bella. My Bella . . .

My first night in New York, I stayed in Central Park, where _I_ couldn't see any security cameras. I was always careful to stay clear of cameras. The last thing I needed was 'GIANT WOLF IN CENTRAL PARK SPOTTED' all over the news headlines and papers. That was a dead set give a way for anyone who heard it back home. I hoped they wouldn't come looking for me. I didn't want to be found. It was the last thing I wanted. I just wanted to be left alone for a while – a long while, forever maybe even. I needed to either work things out for myself, or forget them fully. And right now, I was thinking about forgetting them altogether.

It didn't seem to matter what I did, I couldn't stop thinking about Bella! Even in my dreams I thought about her and dreamt of her. It was really starting to do my head in! But the worst part wasn't thinking about her all the time, it was the pain that came with the thoughts of her. I couldn't think about home, my friends, the pack, my father, my family, because it was always Bella or came to Bella after thinking about them. I was starting to think I was going insane. I had always thought I would after turning into a werewolf. I felt lost after phasing for the first time, like I could just disappear into the beats within me, but I never thought it would be Bella who made me insane.

I awoke in the park just before dawn. The streets were almost dead, apart from the odd trouble maker hanging out and doing things they shouldn't. I got up, shook my coat of the leaves and kept to the shadows, finding my way around the streets until I found some clothes on a clothes line, hung out to dry. They looked around my size. They would and had to be good enough for now.

I climbed up the stairs of the fire escape silently and took just a black tee shirt which ended up being far too small for me and a pair of jeans which seemed to be just my size. It was all I needed to look apart of the community. Well, those and a pair of shoes of course. I didn't know where I was going to get a pair of shoes from though. There wasn't any on the clothesline, obviously.

Once I got the clothes, I jumped down from where I stood and into the shadows before phasing back to my human form. I got dressed quickly and just as I had, I heard someone walking down the alley way, where I was now standing, fully clothed. Casually, I slowly walked towards the street and towards the man that was walking towards me. I didn't look at him, until he shouted out to me.

"Hey kid! What do you think you're doing stealing my clothes?"

I looked up automatically to him and then took off running like a bat out of hell. I could hear him running after me. As I reached the corner, between the street and the alley, I kept getting the urge to phase to run faster but kept it under control. I heard a gunshot just behind me as I kept on running. The sudden sound almost made me lose control of my inner wolf. It was obvious the shot had come from that guy. My heartbeat went faster as I kept on running at full pace, making sure he was no longer following me before I slowed.

_Crap, this place is dangerous_, I thought while panting and trying to catch my breath near a huge building within its shadows of the street light. I was sure if that guy would have shot me if he could have. It was inevitable, sooner or later I would need a hooded jacket or a pair of sunglasses, or people _was_ going to start recognizing me with doing things like I just had. The last thing I needed was the police on my tail. But at the same time, I didn't want to do what I had just done. If I had only planned it out better, I wouldn't have had to.

I walked the streets for a while, looking around. The whole time, I thought of Bella, even when I tried not to, again. It was impossible for me not to think of her! It was driving me crazy to no end. She wasn't mine and never would be, so why couldn't I get over her? I knew the answer, but I couldn't accept it. There was still a glimmer of hope left in me and I didn't want it, because while ever I had it, I wouldn't ever let go. I would be forever hurt while I had it. But I didn't know how to get rid of it once and for all.

I looked up to the sky, seeing it lightening to a light blue-purple with dawn coming. I didn't know where I would go and what to do. I had no money, no way to get money, no jacket to stop people from knowing I was the Quileute boy who ran from home just because his crush doesn't love him back. I felt so pathetic and weak! Why was it that Bella was the only person in the world who could make me behave like this? Why was she the only one who I cared for most in my life? It didn't seem right to me. How was it that she was the one person who had this type of effect on me? I knew no one else who could or had made me act this way – to think of them nonstop. I wasn't the type to dwindle on something that was never going to happen, but with Bella, it was different. I didn't know how to explain it; it was just different for me. I didn't know how she was different to everyone else I had ever met in my life, she just was. . .

When daylight came, I still didn't know what to do or where to go. I was hungry, but I couldn't go getting any food from a stand encase I was caught or buy any food anyway, as I had no money. This whole plan of running away wasn't going so well. Not in New York anyway. And soon enough after getting away from that guy I had stolen my clothes from, and making sure that he hadn't found me again, I started to think of Bella again. I didn't know what to do to get my mind off of her. Each and every thought I had of her hurt like all hell was burning up inside of my heart. I didn't know what to do to get her out of my head, but then at the same time, I did. I just didn't want to do it. I had only not thought about her when I was running for my life. I knew causing trouble had made me forget her, but I wasn't a trouble maker, and yet I really wanted to be. That was just how desperate and weak I was. I felt sick to my stomach. This wasn't me at all.

Even when I closed my eyes, I still thought of her and could see her – almost feel her even. My hands clenched at my sides and started to half shake with just the thought of her. I really needed a distraction of any kind. A vampire would have been good, if I was capable of fighting one so soon after my accident that is.

As I walked down the streets of New York, I came to one street which seemed very quiet. I felt wary the second I entered it. I kept my guard up while looking around at everything as I went. Suddenly something caught my attention. I could hear some guys shouting and laughing. I looked up and saw five teenage boys with hooded jackets over their heads and a heap of stuff in their hands as they packed it into a rusted old blue rabbit. It was obvious the stuff they were packing into the car was all stolen. The tags where still on the items they carried and there was by far too much of the same thing for them to have brought it all . . . I then spotted some leather hooded jackets and some boxes of shoes, which were just some of what they were stealing. It was just what I needed.

I looked around myself again, making sure there was no one watching me or around. I looked over my shoulder and around the trouble makers. Quickly I ran into one of the guys, making him half lose his balance and bump into his mates. Each of them dropped a heap of things. While they were distracted as their stuff was still falling everywhere, I grabbed a box which contained a pair of shoes and a jacket, and took off running quickly. I flung the jacket over my shoulders while running flat out and pulled the hood over my head so they couldn't see me.

I could hear the boys shouting out at me like all hell had broken loose. I could even hear one of them running after me for a while, but I was just too fast for him thankfully. I was worried they would have come after me in their car, but I guessed that they just had too much to pack into the car to loose over just a leather jacket and a pair of shoes.

After cutting a few corners and going down a dark alley as the rain now fell upon my shoulders, I stopped and pulled on the black shoes I had robbed from the robbers. Thankfully, they had been my size of shoe and fitted perfectly. After pulling on my shoes, it was only when it registered in my brain that I was safe, and with that, the thoughts of Bella started to come back again. Causing and making trouble _was_ the cure to the pain I was feeling. I tried to force the thoughts of her back, but, it was impossible, as always.

My heart wrenched with pain of the thoughts of her that came to me. I couldn't stop them from coming into my mind, no matter how hard I tried. My mind had a mine of its own and it didn't matter what I did or tried to think about, she was always there – even when I closed my eyes. It all just hurt too much. I growled at myself. I needed to get a hold of myself! I needed something to get my thoughts off of her, but there wasn't anything I knew would help me, apart from getting into trouble, and I couldn't keep doing that forever could I? Not without getting caught by the police. Or feeling bad about it . . . Those boys had done wrong first by stealing the stuff they had, but what I did was just as bad. I had been lucky so far they hadn't caught me. I then thought about the fact that I was wearing a hooded jacket now. Maybe it could work to my advantage sometimes?

I shook my head, just trying to forget about Bella again. My hands shook like crazy at my sides as I kept trying to force the thoughts of her out of my head and keep my inner animal at bay all at the same time. But, Nothing worked. I walked down streets, not knowing where I was going through the rain for what felt like hours – I had nothing else to do.

I passed food stands, but even that didn't take my mind off of her and I was starving like I hadn't ever eaten before. I took a deep breath as I was alone, somewhere in New York and in a dark alley. The rain was falling heavily, it was hard to see anything that wasn't a metre or two away. I quickly got undressed, tied my clothes to my ankle and wrist and then finally phased into my wolf form. My inner animal could take care of my emotions better than I ever could. Never could I deny that. It didn't care about Bella as much as I did. It was just an animal, and she was just a human.

Somehow I was able to get out of the city in my wolf form without been seen. I found some bush land after a long while of running and was able to find a deer. I hated going after animals to eat, but I had to eat something and there wasn't any human food open to me with having no money in hand. I couldn't really say that I enjoyed the meal either, but at least it was something to eat to keep my strength up and my stomach from eating itself.

I hadn't even really thought about Bella that much the whole time I had been in my wolf form. That scared me, because now I knew my wolf form was a place I could go to not think and feel about her as much as in my human form. I was scared that if I went into my wolf form, I wouldn't phase back. As it had been when I did phase back, it was harder than usual, because the second I was human again, all those emotions and memories came back to me in a huge title wave I felt like I was drowning in. The second I was human, I wanted to be wolf again. I wanted to be numb and blank. No thought or feeling within my body.

On dark, I went back into the city and wondered about what to do to get my mind off of _her _again. Even her name to think it now, hurt like fire running over my chest and heart, to know that never will I have her to call her my own. To love her like she should be loved and cared for. And a human life complete with a family of our own to care for together. All the things that leech couldn't give her, and I could. All those thoughts hurt all like a stab within my heart. It felt like someone had actually taken a knife to my heart and was a cutting into it deeper and deeper each time I thought about her. I knew though, while ever I was sitting around mopping all day long, I wouldn't get her off my mind, ever. I needed something to do.

But if only I had her. If I had her . . . that was all I would need in my life. Having her would mean more than having all my dreams come true, because, she was all my dreams. She was the girl I wanted to wake up to in the morning and fall asleep with at night. She was the girl who owned my heart and always would. She was the girl who made my day through and through. She lit my world, made my heart beat in my chest and was the air I needed to breathe with. She would be the only thing I would never want or need, throughout forever. There wasn't a doubt about that!

I shook my head of the thoughts while walking through the dark of night down streets and through the rain. Heavy and loud music suddenly hit my ears. I looked up from where I stood and saw what I thought was a club or bar. The music inside was so loud I could hear each and every word of the song which was currently playing. I watched as some people walked out and saw the lights flashing bright colours of blue, red, purple, pink, yellow, green and every other colour under the sun inside. People danced to the music, looking like they were really enjoying themselves. It looked like a wild place. I wanted to go in, but I was only sixteen. A smirk suddenly came to my lips and a shrug of my shoulders with a thought that came to me. Did I truly look sixteen? The only real problem was I didn't have any ID on me. . . But then I shouldn't be getting asked for I.D if I did look eighteen, or over eighteen. _To hell with it!_ I thought and walked inside with my hood still pulled over my head.

The second I stepped in, the coloured lights of the club flashed over my head. I looked around the crowed place. People were dancing everywhere to the loud music. It's high and catchy beat instantly caught my emotions within its high. I had always been amazed by how music always seemed to catch ones emotions, and change them to the emotion and beat of the song and music. I instantly forgot about Bella and let the beat of the music flow through me as I pushed past the many people dancing while making my way to a little crowed area. I made my way to the back of the club and sat where it was a little darker and not so noticeable. As I watched the people dancing, talking, laughing and drinking around me, I noticed just how much fun they were having – and how drunk or high they were.

My eyes scanned each of the faces around me for no reason at all apart from curiosity. Only one of the faces near me stood out. Her hair was blond, wavy and yet almost straight at the same time. She wore a very short pair of dark, washed out grey denim short shorts and a low three quarter black halter V neck top with some white writing on the lower part and chest region of the top. Her skin was pale white in the flashing, coloured lights of the club. She danced while wearing a very dark pair of cop sunglasses. She danced to some high beat music that I wasn't familiar with, with a small drink bottle in her hand. Occasionally she would sip on it.

I didn't know what it was about her, but, there was just something different about her to everyone else in the room. She was pretty, yes – sexy was more the word – but there was just something about her that was different. It felt a little like I knew her from somewhere, like we were connected, almost like we knew each other and had been or were friends for years, but I didn't know her at all. I knew that much and yet, I got the feeling that I did? I shook my head with confusion of my own emotions. I had to be finally going crazy. That was the only thing I could think of which explained everything.

I looked away from her and focused on the music again. It actually made me feel better. It made me forget about the pain of Bella to some extent. The coloured lights flashed brightly around me and my eyes shifted quickly to a group of guys suddenly shouting "Free Friday!" before clashing their drinks together beside me. I wondered what was making them so happy. Each and every one of them was smiling widely and laughing, then again, they could have been easy overly drunk too.

One of them – the younger one who had to be around twenty and had tips of light green through his dark brown, cropped and spiked hair, leaned over towards me. I eyed him carefully with not feeling like I should trust him. "Hey, you want a drink bro? You look like you could do with one," he said in a low whispering tone.

I knew he wouldn't know that I was underage as I didn't look sixteen at all – more like eighteen, nineteen or older. I also knew it was against the law for underage drinking, but I was really desperate to get Bella fully off of my mind. The music wasn't working as well as it had been and I was starting to think about her, again.

My mind drifted to how Sam had said werewolves couldn't get drunk a fair few months back. It was all because our body temperatures were too high for alcohol to have any kind of effect on us. I wanted to test that theory – for what reason I had no idea – but then I remembered I had no money on me. "Thanks, but I don't have any money," I answered dryly.

He looked away from me for a moment, smiling and shaking his head. "Are you new here? Its Free Friday, it's on the house bro. So, do you want a drink or not?" He looked back to me and took a sip of his drink. I thought about it for a moment and then decided there really couldn't be any harm in it.

"Okay, thanks." Quickly, he finished off what was left of his drink and got up and went over to the bar. I couldn't hear what he was saying for the music being so loud. But it wasn't long before he came back over and placed one of the drinks he had in hand on my table, keeping his in hand and starting it quickly. I then started to wonder how many he had already.

I stared at the drink in front of me, still in wonder if I should have it or not. I wasn't one for looking for trouble, or going against the law. I knew better, so why wasn't I doing better? Because I was hurt! I was in pain and anything had to be better than feeling that pain, even getting in trouble with the law. I had changed with reading just one little piece of paper. It was a piece of paper that had changed my whole outlook on my entire life. Just a note and invite, had made me steal from people and now look for trouble, just to get my mind off of the pain and . . . _her_.

With that, my decision was made. I picked up the glass and threw the whole drink down in three gulps, and instantly, the pain was numbed. How was that? I had only had one drink and yet, my emotions were numbed? I thought that only happened when you were too drunk to even walk straight?

It was in times like this, I wished I had Sam to ask questions to. All I had to go with was what he had said. _We don't get drunk. Our body temperature is too high for it to have any effect on us._ That hadn't been music to Paul's ears that night. I rolled my eyes at the thought. Paul wanted to get drunk off of his heals, do stupid stuff and then blame it all on being drunk. But of course, he never thought by doing that, he might have exposed us all. Typical Paul . . .

As I stood to my feet, the guy beside me looked up to me and then down to my empty drink on the table. "Any good man?" he questioned.

I looked to him and slightly smiled half-heartedly. There was just something about him I didn't trust. "Yeah, thanks," I answered. My eyes shifted to the dancing crowed before my eyes, trying to ignore him. That girl was still there and I still felt a connection between us. I couldn't work out what it was, or what it meant.

"Want another mate?" he asked then. I thought about it for a moment and then shook my head. One was enough for tonight. Even that was too much for my age.

"Nah, it's cool. Thanks though," I said casually and walked slowly away from him. I really didn't trust that guy much.

"Hey wait," he called. I looked back over my shoulder, guessing he was talking to me. He signalled for me to come back with his hand. I looked around myself, seeing his friends at the bar so he was alone at the table. Feeling wary, I walked back up to where he was sitting. "I never caught your name. Anthony," he said, extending his hand and stood up from his seat.

I thought about it for a moment, wondering if I should give out my real name encase something came up, but I really couldn't think of a reason other than that. It wasn't like he could really see who I was anyway with my hood over my head still. "Jake," I answered, clasping his hand in mine.

"I guess, I'll see you around then Jake," he mumbled, sitting back down in his seat as his friends came back and sat down too. I nodded and half smiled. "Yeah, later Anthony."

I looked upon the faces I passed, whom were dancing to the strong music as I passed and saw that same girl who I had spotted earlier, still dancing. I really didn't know what it was about her that was making me feel like we had some kind of connection. It was like the first time I had phased and when I first met up with the guys, but, that didn't make any sense to me. Why would I be getting this type of feeling around her? I didn't know her like I knew the guys and I wasn't in my wolf form either. I shook my head and headed towards the exit, trying to forget about it and her, but it was harder than I had thought it would be.

When I got outside, the cool, fresh air greeted me. I hadn't realized just how hot it had been in there and also with my wearing a jacket, it wasn't helping anything. The fresh breeze swept around my face gently, making me feel suddenly relaxed and at ease with everything that was going on in my life. My eyes slowly closed with my face to the night sky while leaning up against the brick wall of the club. I actually was missing the colder weather of La Push and Forks offered, but I knew New York could be just as cold on some days.

My eyes flashed open with hearing low voices and murmurs of a lady and man. With looking to my left, I saw a lady talking to a taller and slightly older man who had her by the arm. He was almost as tall as I, but he was in fact older than me – or even Sam for that matter.

I could tell just by the way he was speaking and standing he was drunk off his feet. At first I thought he was only talking to her, but then I sensed the fear coming from her. I listened closely to the two of them while watching his every movement.

"Come on, let's go now," he murmured, trying to pull her along with him, but she resisted.

"No Tyler, you're drunk as all hell. I'm going home." She pulled away from him and took two steps before he took her roughly by the arm again. The street light shone down on him and I realized he was one of Anthony's friends he had been drinking with. I knew there was something about him and his friends I didn't like!

"Come on home with me beautiful," he then murmured.

"Leave me alone Tyler!" she half shouted then.

I growled to myself with watching him whisper something else into her ear I wasn't able to catch. I wasn't going to stand back and watch anymore. I knew what he was up to and I wasn't standing for it. I didn't care who he was, he wasn't going to lay a finger on her!

I walked up to him and pushed him harshly in the chest away from the woman. "She said leave her alone! Can't you hear?" I said evenly, making sure that I was between the two of them, with the woman behind me. He stumbled back on his feet and then looked to me and then to the woman. "And who is this Sara? One of your new boy toys?" he asked darkly, stepping up to her and taking her arm again. Ouch that named brought back memories. Sure her name was Sara and my mother's name was Sarah, but it was still close enough to make me think of home and the short amount of time my mother and I had had together.

I pushed him in the chest, back away from her again, though harder this time. His eyes narrowed at me and then looked to the woman again. "Back off!" I growled. I could sense her fear growing.

"Who is he?" Tyler hissed with anger, looking to her.

"I – I don't know w-who he is Tyler," she stated while stammering from the fear and panic. I looked to her with a kind eye, trying to let her know I was trying to help and that I didn't mean her any harm. I looked back to him quickly and half growled with blackened eyes. I was starting to lose it. My hands were starting to shake at my sides.

His eyes narrowed more with hearing my growl. I could see it in his face that he knew there wasn't something right with me, but he didn't pay any attention to it.

"Who the fuck are you and what are you doing with my girlfriend?" he shouted, trying to push me away from her. I stood my ground and didn't answer. His glare held my eyes while he questioned me silently, as I growled again and pushed him away from me and making him fall to ground. I hated people trying to intimidate me! "Saving her from your sorry ass!" I growled out my answer, with not being able to hold back my words or the growl.

He looked up to me from where he had fallen, studying my face before jumping to his feet and swag a fist at my jaw, only to yell out in pain with the impact. I smirked at him darkly, seeing him shaking his hand while looking down at it and then me. I saw slight fear in his eyes then. "Try again," I challenge, still smirking at him. He tried for my stomach with his other hand and only ended up yelling out louder in pain again. I didn't even need to touch the guy. That was, until he stood up again and tried to punch my still healing right side. I hit him back in the stomach, a little too hard and he went to the ground again in pain.

With hearing more voices behind me and Sara, I turned around slightly to see a small crowd had form behind us and people whispering and murmuring things to each other. There was only one thing I picked up on that had been said. "Someone's called the cops already." I bit my lip with knowing that the police wasn't the people I needed to be around right now, but I wasn't just going to disappear for him to hurt Sara. I then heard a door of the club go and heard a familiar voice. I looked slightly over my shoulder and saw Anthony and that girl walking out of the light filled club.

"What do you think you're doing with my sister Tyler?" Anthony yelled, almost hurting my ears. I didn't think he had realized who I was yet. He was too busy with Tyler. "Get up you dick," he hissed and kicked Tyler in the nuts. I couldn't help but be sarcastic with my fake concerned face of grimacing. "Oooh," I murmured and then smiled smug with my sarcasm. It was only then Anthony looked to me, but thankfully my hood hid my face well and he wasn't able to see me.

My heart started to race within that millisecond of Anthony turning to me with hearing the police's siren coming closer with every second passing. I took off running quickly away from the scene and into the darkness before anyone could catch me. I ran so fast my inner wolf was urging to come forward to make my legs move faster, but I controlled it again. The last thing I wanted was the police to know who I was and send me back to La Push within a blink of an eye. I wasn't ready to go home, and I didn't ever think I would be. I didn't want to go home to the pain of knowing Bella wasn't mine, nor ever would be.

With knowing no one would know where I was with running so hard and fast, I slowed to a normal human pace and walked slowly through the streets again. It was very early in the morning and all I could think about _again_ was Bella. The whole time I had been dealing with Tyler, I hadn't once thought about her. Not even for a millisecond and that was how I wanted it to be. I knew that I needed to stop thinking about Bella. I knew that I needed to get over her, but, nothing I did, seemed to get her off of my mind for long, let along emotions. Every time I thought about her, it felt like a knife was cutting deeper and deeper into my heart. I sighed deeply, deciding I needed some sleep and headed in the direction out of the city.

With the wind abruptly changing course, a sickly-sweet scent entered the air. With grimacing from the scent, I looked up and saw a dark figure in front of me. It looked up too and I saw its black eyes. His hair was cropped like mine, but more so and it was a very light brown instead of black. Its skin being a leech was of course a very pale creamy white. There was something odd about this leech. It seemed young and yet frail at the same time.

It hissed at me and took off at full speed. I growled back at it and took off after it in my wolf form. I wanted a fight now and it wasn't going to live while ever I had breath left in me. Plus, it was really a win, win situation. I would have Bella and the pain which came with the thoughts of her off of my mind while chasing it and saving people by killing it, if I was strong enough that is. My right side worried me with fighting a vampire so soon after the last and with it still healing. But there wasn't any way I was going to let the leech escape me now.

It ran quickly through the streets, passing the odd person as it went – which kind of surprised me. I could feel people looking at me as I kept running after it. I knew they would wonder how we were running so fast, but I didn't care what they thought at this time. I was just going to get the job done and help people in the meantime.

It ran up fire escape stairs of apartment buildings, trying to get me off of its trail, but it didn't work. I made it up them too, just as quickly, if not quicker movements than it. Once at the top of the building, it stopped and looked back and saw me coming and took off again, jumping from roof to roof before jumping seven to ten stories to the streets again. I stopped on the edge of the building, looking down to the streets where it now ran. Quickly I tried to find a fire escape to get down to its level, but there were none and it was getting away fast.

I kept on chasing it by running over the roof tops, jumping to each and every building I came across until I knew the leech was soon to be cornered. Upon the last building I came across, I hoped to god my body was strong enough to do the same stunt as the leech had and did a back flip from the ten story building, landing on my feet in the middle of the road, blocking the bloodsucker's only way out.

It hissed when it turned around to where I was now standing. I smirked at it darkly. "Didn't your creator ever tell you not to play with werewolves?" I said, stepping closer to it, shaking slightly as my inner animal wanted to take over and kill it, but I knew I couldn't here.

The leech composed himself and stood up straight, smiling the same smirk I had flashed at it. "Didn't your mother ever tell you not think so sure of yourself?" he said casually and confident. I tilted my head to the side with hearing his words, not too sure of what to make of them. His gaze quickly went to one of the buildings on my right side as he jumped for it and took off running again. My hands turned into fists with how annoyed I was with myself for thinking the buildings around us were too tall for him to jump up to. I growled and took off after him again.

I chased it out of town and until we hit bush land. I felt like it had been hours I had been running for and it could have very well been. I panted for breath with sweat running down my forehead as I stood there, watching the leech looking for a way past me now it was cornered by me and the boulders in front of me. They were too high for either of us to try and jump to escape. It kept looking for ways out, but there wasn't any past me. I quickly got undressed and phased before it realized that too.

The second it turned around towards me, it realized I was in my wolf form. I would have been lying if I had said I wasn't fearful for taking on this vampire alone after last time, but, I had to use that fear to get past my accident. I just hoped I was healed enough to keep myself alive. There was only one way to find out.

It crouched close to the ground like cat after a mouse and sprang at me just as I aimed at it too. Its arm hit the side of my good shoulder, forcing me to hit the side of the boulders. I shook my head, and quickly looked up to them to make sure they weren't about to collapse on top of me. They seemed safe enough. I couldn't hear any creaks coming from them or any signs they were about to fall.

With hearing the leech hiss at me, I snarled back, holding its gaze as it tried to corner me. I took in a deep, silent breath, calming myself. _Focus Jacob!_ I thought to myself and ran at the thing again. This time it was a different story to the last. Before he could even move to get out of my path, I had hold of him and ripped it to pieces. I phased back and quickly lit a fire with forest material to burn the pieces left over before it could pull itself back together. While the pieces burned away, I found a stream nearby and threw my clothes into the shallow part before jumping into it myself.

The coolness of the water against my heated and sweaty skin felt so relaxing and nice. It calmed my tense muscles after phasing and got the extra heat out of my muscles which was also left over from phasing. As I leaned against the bank of the stream, I looked up to the sky. It was purple now with the sun rising. The stars were disappearing quickly.

My hands ran over my face with tiredness over coming me and a yawn escaping my lips. I stood out of the water with my clothes in hand and left them on the dry land for the sun to dry them out when it came up. The fire had finally burnt all the pieces of the leech and had fully gone out. With wanting to phase again, I let my hands shake violently at my sides and allowed my inner animal to take over me. With the slight shock of fiery heat going down my spine, I phased and lied down under a tree. It was only a matter of seconds, and I was asleep, but only to dream of Bella again.

When I dreamt of her – in my wolf form or not – my emotions were like I was in my human form. They were so deep, detailed and painful. But then, when I was in my wolf form, my emotions were only down to a very little amount of numb pain. When I awoke and realized that once more, I became scared of being in my wolf form. It was only a matter of time, before I didn't want to phase back and wouldn't, all just to stay_ almost_ numb.

My ears pricked instantly with hearing male voices. "It's over here," one of them said. I wasn't sure what they were meaning by '_it's'_ but when I looked up, I guessed it was the now relight fire before me. I half panicked with the thought of them catching me. I could hear them coming closer.

I stood to my feet and shook the leaves and dirt out of my coat and tried to quietly walk over to my clothes on the bank of the stream. But they were closer than I thought they were. Both the men came around the pine trees and gasped at the sight of me.

"Now that's one frigan big wolf!"

I didn't take any notice to what they looked like; I just ran for my clothes, picked them up in my mouth and took off running as quickly as I could. I hadn't realized they were holding guns until I heard three shots fired, but I was far off where they were shooting. I knew that they must have been hunters at that point

Once I knew I had lost them, I phased back and pulled on my semi-dried clothing and walked back to New York. This time, phasing back was even harder than it was the first time I tried. I couldn't and wouldn't allow myself to go into my wolf form again.

It was good as dark by the time I had gotten back into the city. I thought about the two men and hoped that nothing would come out of them seeing me. But there was nothing I could do about it now. All I could do was hope that if anything did come out of it, the guys back home didn't hear about it, or they would surely come and try and find me.

I had no idea what to do now I was back in New York. I was starving hungry and still had no money and I wasn't about to go stealing money from someone. That was one thing I wasn't ever going to do. I thought about going back to the forest and finding a deer or something, but, I couldn't go back into my wolf form again. I could feel each and every time I phased back now, there was a part of me telling my inner animal not to let me go back into my human form and it scared me to end. And the last time I phased back, was even more proof I was right. I couldn't keep phasing while ever I felt so pained about Bella like I did, or there was going to be a time I wouldn't phase back and I knew, once that happened, I wouldn't ever be able to again. Just that thought alone shook me to the core. I couldn't let that happen! And I wasn't!

I slowly walked the streets until I found the club I had been at last night. As I walked in, it had been just like last night. It was like déjà vu – it was happening all over again. The only difference to the club was the lights weren't as bright and there were more people tonight than last. I wondered why until I found the '_Shots & Steaks Saturday'_ sign. I hoped the steaks were free like the drinks had been last night. My stomach wouldn't stop growling.

As I made my way around the crowd in the club, I saw Anthony and his mates around the same table as last night, but I noticed Tyler wasn't there. I wondered if he had realized I had been the one who had helped out his sister last night. I didn't really care if he did realize, but I thought that maybe it would be best if he didn't. The last thing I needed was my secret going out to a drunk who may blab it – not that many would likely believe him if he did say it while being drunk.

His eyes shifted to me while taking a sip of a drink and listening to one of his friends talking. "Hey Jake," he said, seeming to be actually sober tonight.

"Hey," I smiled half-heartedly.

"Want a drink bro?" he stood to his feet, pushing his chair back like I had already accepted his offer.

"I don't think so. I don't have any money on me." That and I knew it wasn't a good idea to drink on an empty stomach. He shook his head at me and the same smug smirk came over his face as it had last night.

"You are new here, aren't you? Jake, you get free stuff here all weekends. Shots and steak are free today and all meals tomorrow."

"Sweet," I smiled. Finally I was going to be able to eat something! My stomach growled at that thought.

"So, a drink?" he questioned again.

"Ah yeah, that and a steak I guess," I said in humour and followed him over to the bar. As he ordered a drink for himself, shots and a steak for me, we both leaned up against the counter waiting in silence. I could tell how he was staring down at the ground he was thinking deeply about something, but I wasn't about to ask about it. He then looked up to me and turned face on to the counter.

"Was it you who helped my sister last night?" he murmured in a low tone, without looking directly at me as the bar tender came over with our drinks, but they weren't what I thought they were. They were shots. I shook my head, duh. _Anthony told you that already_! I thought, and took hold of one and threw it back. I really wasn't expecting it to burn the back of my throat, but I was shocked at it completely numbed my whole body and emotions so quickly. Good, another thing that got Bella off of my mind and the pain along with it! I shook my head, trying to get used to the burn in my throat though.

Anthony laughed slightly at my reaction to the shot while slipping on his beer. He looked up to me once more, questioning me again silently for the answer to his question. I thought about it for a minute, contemplating if to tell him the truth or not. "Yeah, it was," I nodded and took another shot, drinking it all at once like the last. It didn't burn like the last one though, thankfully and I found I come even more so numb to what the first had done.

"So, why did you run off like that?" he asked then, eyeing me. "Watch it Jake. You'll be drunk off your heels before you know it. That's strong stuff."

My eyes narrowed slightly, looking down to the shots left on the table with thinking what I was going to tell him. In the end, I just decided I would just tell the truth, but of course not to full truth. "I'm not exactly in the right place to meet up with the police," I murmured, too low for anyone else to hear and ignoring what he had said about the shots.

"Why's that?" His voice was slightly cautious now, but still actually normal.

"Run away," I coughed and took another shot and found the same effect of numbness.

"I knew there was something different about you. That's why you don't have any money, isn't it? What happened?"

I nodded and then felt stupid for the reason behind why I had run off. How was I supposed to tell the truth without looking like an idiot? "No, I have money. I just have most of it in the bank and didn't get my cards before I left. Got sick of rules," I lied. There was no way I was going to tell him about Bella. I would sound totally crazy in anyone's eyes who didn't know the full story of what was happening.

Anthony smirked and nodded once he heard I had being sick of rules. I started to wonder how old he was and if he had done the same thing. He could have been just like me – my age and yet looked older. "I hear ya on that one Jake," he half laughed and drank one of the glasses of shots quickly and then took another sip from his beer. "I can help you with the money thing."

I was staring at the floor, when I heard him. I looked up to him swiftly, curious to how he could help me. I really couldn't see how he could help me unless he went back home and got my wallet and I knew that would never happen.

I didn't have to speak again for him to read I was questioning him. "I'll make you the cards you need," he answered, taking another shot. "If you want that is."

I looked back down to the floor, deep in thought. I knew that without money soon, I would be forced to go home. I had no place to stay, nothing to eat – unless I went into my wolf form and that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. I knew it was risky, but, I had to do it if I wanted to stay away from home. "Okay, thanks. What do I owe you?" I asked, looking back up to him.

"For you, it's on the house. You saved my sister. I'm grateful for that," he smiled and grabbed his drink within his hand. "Tyler can be such a dick when he's drunk." He shook his head and drank the rest of the beef.

"Thanks, and don't mention it. I was happy to help her. I am curious though . . . where is Tyler?"

He started laughing darkly then and looked up to me. "He hurt his hands on you so much Jake, they were actually broken."

"Ouch," I muttered, wishing I hadn't asked. I knew the questions which were now to come. I braced myself for them, but they didn't seem to come. I was grateful for it. I didn't know how I would explain how I hadn't been touched at all, to anyone who didn't know my secret. And I wouldn't know how to explain it all without giving it away either. It would be almost impossible for me to do.

The lights suddenly got brighter, catching my attention and making me look up. Glitter started to fall from the ceiling and the music got louder. The beat was so much higher than last night. It wasn't like any kind of music I had heard before. I thought that maybe it was either Pop music or Rock maybe. Whatever it was, I liked it greatly. I had always been one for mellow music, with growing up in the country and in a place where the latest music wasn't known of easily.

With my eyes fixed on the small pieces of glitter falling and the lights reflecting their colours on the glitter, it reminded me a little of snow falling. The glitter was silver, but with the lights flashing all the colours under the rainbow, the silver glitter turned to each of the colours the lights flashed. I smiled slightly with seeing it falling and then lying on the floor below everyone as they danced to the music.

Something suddenly caught my eye and made me look to the crowd dancing in front of us. That girl was in the crowd dancing again and again, I felt that same connection to her I had felt yesterday, but this time it was stronger. She was dressed in simular clothes as last night, but she didn't wear her glasses tonight. Tonight I could see her face and eyes. Her eyes were blue and around them was thick mascara. I could see she was a total party, hard-core girl.

Anthony caught my gaze and nudged me in the arm. I looked to him and seen a smirk on his face. "Found a girl already?" he asked.

I smiled crookedly and shook my head. "Nah, I'm totally over girls right now. Do you know her?"

"Nope, but she's always one for partying hard. She's always here or anywhere where there's music or alcohol. I see her a lot, but never spoken to her."

"Huh, odd," I murmured and looked away from him and back to the girl once his back was turned again. I tried to work out the connection I felt I had to her. I definitely didn't know her, and I knew for sure she wasn't my imprint, as I wouldn't still have the very dull pain – thanks to the shots covering it greatly – I still had in my heart and chest. So what was it about her? I felt completely at ease around her and I hadn't even said one word to her.

I shook my head again and turned around to see the bartender coming with my steak and a small serve of vegetables on the side. I only realized then I had drunk without any food in my stomach. Bad move. But then . . . was it? Didn't it only count if you _could_ get drunk? I guessed I was on the safe side if that was the case. I already had around five shots and didn't feel any affect from them yet, but I couldn't really say the same about Anthony.

His friends called out to him at the exit and entrance of the club. He looked up to them and then to me. "Guess I'll see you around Jake. I'll have those cards ready by tomorrow. Meet back here?"

I nodded once and smiled slightly. "Sure thing, and thanks for that."

"See ya bro," he waved and left with his friends.

I really didn't know what to think about having a fake I.D and credit card. I had had so many things wrong already and now this on top of it all? This _really_ wasn't like me, and to think it was all because of Bella! At least I could think of her name while I had shots in me – sort of. I still had a slight tingle in my chest when I did think her name. I guess the shots weren't really enough to cover all my pain. I wondered if a few more would help any. I then realized Anthony hadn't taken any of my details off of me. I guessed he was going to make a full load of fake cards, but I wondered how that would work with having my own money in hand. Maybe he forgotten about the details part?

With pulling one of the stools up to the counter and started eating my steak and then ordered five more shots and left them until I had finished my meal to drink them. But one steak wasn't enough. I was still hungry. But then I found out, two steaks more wasn't enough either. It was only after five steaks I was on the edge of being full. I guessed I had a bigger appetite with not eating all day. I had also really pushed the limits with the shots and found after ten of them, I still wasn't drunk. I didn't know how many it took to get a 'normal' person drunk, but I was sure it was way before ten.

Very slowly the club started to die down, but I wasn't taking much notice. After finishing my fifth steak, I stood to my feet and went to join the smaller crowd in dancing. The girl was still there dancing too, but I didn't speak to her – though, I did catch her getting glimpses of me every now and then and turning a little red in the cheeks when I caught her staring. I shook my head and smiled, looking away from her and thinking, _girls._ I always got that reaction from girls. Even back home at school I had girls looking at me that way.

I didn't know what time it was, nor did I care as I wasn't tired from sleeping most of the day in the forest – that and I didn't want to sleep, as I knew it would only bring on more dreams of Bella and I couldn't and_ wouldn't_ go into my wolf form any time soon! I guessed it was really getting late when the crowd had died down to just a few people. I really knew it was late when I saw Anthony enter the club again.

He looked at me slightly shocked with widened eyes and his jaw almost dropped to the floor. He didn't even look like he had a hangover. Maybe he didn't get as drunk as I thought? Or was hiding it very well . . . He looked back out the door like someone was behind him before he closed the distance between us.

"Don't tell me you pulled an all-nighter Jake?" he said.

I laughed slightly, hearing the shock in his tone. "Okay, I won't tell you, but . . . you've already said it yourself."

He chuckled and shook his head. "Good thing you're here then. I forgot to get your info from you, for the cards. I didn't know if you wanted a real fake ID and card set or what."

"The closest to real you can get the better really," I answered from under the hood of my jacket in a low tone so no one could hear me speaking. I could see in the corner of my eye Anthony nodded once and turned his back on me.

"Okay. Come out to my car and I'll get the info from you," he murmured and headed towards the door again. I looked around myself, making sure no one was watching us and followed him while keeping my hood over my head. I really did know this was risky, but, I was just that desperate to not go home.

With walking outside of the club, I found it was almost dark with storms coming around the city. I could smell the sweet scent of rain in the air and feel the tension in everything with life in it from the predicate of the storm coming. The birds were already huddled up in their trees, knowing the violent storm wasn't far off. I couldn't help but be curious just how bad storms could get here. We got bad ones back at home on the odd occasion, but I didn't think they were as bad as some could get.

As I followed Anthony along the building of the club, I only saw two cars in the parking lot. A huge Jeep, which reminded me of Emmett's Jeep, and a silver Ford. Anthony headed for the silver Ford, unlocked it and leaned into the back of the car, grabbing a piece of paper and a pen for me. I stood on the footpath, waiting and watching him carefully. I still didn't fully trust him.

Once out of the car, he placed the paper on the silver bonnet and looked up to me to start filling out my info. My inner wolf kept trying to urge forward. I knew it was its way of telling me to be careful. It kept making me stop every time I went to write something, but each time I ignored it. I stopped for a brief moment when I came to writing out my bank card number, but quickly shrugged it off with remembering I had two passwords to keep my money safe. Thankfully I had worked enough with fixing cars and motorbikes to make some money. Though, I didn't really know how long it was going to last.

Once I was done, I handled the plain page of my information to him, along with the pen. "Need a pic of you too Jake," he added, taking his phone from his back pocket, taking a quick photo. I really hoped he was good with photoshop and could delete the background of the club. . .

He looked down to the image on his phone and snapped in shut. "Okay, get in. It'll only take me a couple of minutes to make it at home."

"You're sure it is okay if I come with you?" I asked and glanced up to the sky with hearing a quiet rumble of thunder no human would have been able to detect.

"Yeah of course man. Jump in." He quickly he got into his car and started it up. I thought about it for a minute with not being too sure if I should have being going with him or not. But then, the thought to my being a werewolf and being able to protect myself entered my head. What did I have to worry about? I could protect myself. It wasn't like anyone could even punch me without breaking their hand. With walking around the other side of his car, I got in and did up my seat beat as he started to drive out onto the busy roads of New York.

Inside of the car was all a light grey. The seats were all leather and there was more room inside than it looked like from the outside. It really wasn't a car that interested me much or knew much about, as I rather old cars any day, but I did think the car had been redone up. I didn't even know Ford sold cars with leather seats?

With going through the city, and then into a very quiet street, the car slowed and stopped at a red brick building. It looked like it was in the middle of nowhere – or in the middle of a bad part of the city.

As I got out as Anthony did, and a louder rumble of thunder hit around us, making me shudder slightly. Unfortunately, he caught slight of me shuttering. "What, you scared of storms Jake?" he joked with great humour.

I rolled my eyes. "No. I just feel the electricity and impact from them better than _some_ people." _More like how animals detect a bad storm is coming,_ I thought, walking up to the footpath where he stood.

He nodded to me with an odd face and started to head for the tall, red building he had parked next to. I knew he didn't believe me. I hadn't ever realized just how hard it was in the human world for people to believe the truth of what I could feel and sense. Everyone back home believed each and everything I said, but then again, most of them knew my secret and knew me too.

As we went around the back of the huge building, I quickly spotted an old white house behind it. I thought how odd it was to find a house in a place like we were. It was right below and opposite a street full of huge buildings, but then I saw there were even more houses next to the old white one. I hadn't ever seen a street full of houses right up against tall buildings before. It just didn't seem to fit in. I started to wonder where in New York we were. I hadn't taken any notice to where Anthony had been driving.

_Stupid move Jacob! _I thought and visually hit myself in the forehead with my hand, while walking around front of the house. The grass around the whole house was wild as La Push's forest and there were all pieces from cars around the house. Huge scrapes of paint were missing over house. Around the front of the house was pretty simple, a small concrete path leading up to the concrete stairs, a small concrete veranda and then the wooden white door – also with paint missing from it.

With pulling his keys out of his back pocket, Anthony stepped aside and let me go inside after unlocking the house. The whole house looked smaller inside, though still bigger than my used to be home in La Push. The old white house was also a lot cleaner inside to how the outside had been.

In the door way of the house, it was just a narrow white hall way. The carpet was all white, along with the walls. There were closed doors on either side of the walls, but at the end of the hall, it opened up into a bigger room. The room had a couch up against the wall, a TV on the opposite side of the couch, a small coffee table in the middle and a huge window on its left side, going from one side of the room to the other.

"Take a seat Jake. I'll be back in a minute with your cards."

"Okay thanks," I nodded, going over to the window and realizing it had a sliding door to go outside. I looked out to what I could see of the horizon. It was almost dark outside now between the time of the day and the storms. The clouds had tuned darker and lightning flashed brightly through them every few seconds. I felt like the lightning was causing me to fall into a trance like state until the thunder cracked again and broke me free.

I heard a door go behind me and saw Anthony walked out of a small room, plastic cards in hand. He looked up from them and to me, before handing them over to me. "One license, one credit card," he said. I took them from him and looked over them carefully. They did look real, I had to say.

"Thanks for that."

"No worries Jake," he smiled slightly. "Do you wana crash the night here?"

"No, it's fine. I'll find some place to stay before the storm hits."

"Alright, see you around then bro," he said and let me out of the house. I went back around where we had come, past the huge red building and took off running with my new, fake cards in my back pocket. I ran quickly as I could, with knowing it wouldn't be long before the storm hit. The last thing I wanted was to be out in this coming storm. I could sense it was going to be bad. Really bad!

With taking just one left, I then knew where I was located. I was in the street where I had stolen my jacket and shoes from those teenage robbers. I carefully examined the area while walking. I was sure those guys would recognize my jacket and shoes if they saw them.

The thunder hit louder and louder each time it sounded. I knew the storm was getting closer, so I picked up the speed in my pace. But only to stop dead and turn around with hearing familiar harsh voices coming from behind me. The very instant I turned around, my inner animal threatened to take over again. It knew those voices too, and it knew they meant harm.

"Well, well, what have we got here?" one of the guys asked smugly, looking over to the others on his right. The waves of shakes in my hands started with hearing the threat in his tone. My eyes narrowed and my senses sharpened. They all looked similar to each other and dressed the same in jeans and jackets just like my own. It was hard to place much facial features on them, as they all wore their hoods over their heads. All I could pick up on was their eyes and voices. The hoods and the light of almost night and the storms stopped me from seeing anymore, even with my wolf sensitive eyes. They were a gang. I could tell easy by how they were altogether.

I took a step back with seeing them coming closer to me, but stood my ground. I wasn't scared of them, even when I saw a fifth joined in. I knew they were the guys I had stolen from, they obviously knew me too.

"Where did you get that jacket kid?" one asked in a demanding tone, stepping closer to me. My eyes went even narrower to what they had been. My hands turned into tight fists with knowing that there wouldn't be any reasoning with them, and tried to stop myself from phasing. I knew if I took another step back, I would phase and couldn't let that happen.

"Does it matter?" I growled, loudly, making four of them wary, but not the fifth.

"I'll show you that it matters!" ahuge guy shouted and came at me. He was way taller than I was. He had to be almost a foot taller than me – putting him at six-foot-ten, seven foot.

_Wow, hothead, _I thought as pure instinct took over me then. I dodged him quickly, and elbowed him in the shoulder blade, with what I thought was human strength, until I heard a snap. Whoops. . . I really needed to learn my own strength! But still, I hadn't really stopped him, whatever I broke or hit didn't really affect him. The guy grimaced slightly, holding his hand over where I had hit him and then looked up to me. If I didn't know better, I would have sworn he wasn't human. It was seriously like he had fire in his eyes when he looked back up to me.

My hands gripped into a tighter fist as I sensed he was going to come at me again. So much for his friends being around to help! They were standing back and letting him do all the work. That then spoke to me. He must have been the best fighter out of the five of them. I smirked confidently. _Take down the leader, take down the gang_, I thought. They were just like a wolf pack. If you took down the Alpha, the rest of the pack wouldn't know what to do – run or fight. My instincts were working and thinking for me now. I didn't need to be in my wolf form to know how to handle these creeps!

With a flash of lightning, I saw a glimpse of resistance within the guy's eye. I smirked darker and even more so confident. He was actually scared of me. "Aw, what's wrong? Baby doesn't want to play anymore?" I teased. I knew that type of attitude was only going to get me in trouble, but I didn't care within that moment. I wanted trouble from this so called _tough _guy.

With hearing my words, it had been like putting fuel to the fire and showing a red flag to a bull. He was steaming. I knew that was his weakness. He was the tough guy and he didn't want anyone to think otherwise! Well, too bad, because I thought otherwise.

He tried at punching me again, in my right shoulder. I only just narrowly missed his hit and he tried again, managing to hit my jaw with some force, but not enough to hurt me. I stepped back, growling again. He was panting like a puppy in the summer heat. I wasn't even warmed up yet.

Lightning flashed over us and the rain started to fall heavily. His so called friends stood back in a half circle, watching us. A couple even shouted out to him in encouragement. I just scoffed at it. I glanced at the hand he had punched my jaw with and noticed it was red. He was hurting badly, but taking no notice to it.

I rolled my eyes with seeing him running at me with another fist, and once again, I dodged him as he aimed for my jaw again. Didn't he know the best offence, was the best defence? And defence was better than attack? I guess he didn't. He was panting heavily as he stood in shock that he had missed me again. I smiled and tilted my head to the side, punching him one in the jaw and sending him to the footpath with a blackout, without breaking his jaw.

I looked up to his friends then. They were shivering, but I wasn't sure if it was from the cold rain or from me. As I was about to speak to them for another challenge, hearing an engine caught my attention. I looked down the road and saw a police car. They caught my gaze too and scattered. So much for their leader slash friend.

I took off too, keeping my hood over my head while running through the rain. I knew I would be responsible for what I had done to that guy even know I was only defending myself. I could have easily killed him and probably saved someone else's life in the meantime. I got the feeling that gang was _really_ more trouble than just robbers. But I couldn't prove that.

The second I started running, a torch was shone on me and the siren of the police car started.

_Crap! _I grimaced and ran faster. Again my inner animal urged me to let it come forth to let me run faster to get away, and I was just about to let it overcome me with being in the shadows of night and rain, when I spotted another police car in front from me and the one behind me pull up. I bit my lip, trying to think quick enough to come up with a plan, but I was too slow.

"Put your hands above your head!" a lady shouted. I turned around and was forced to do as I was told, but hung my head so they couldn't see my face. Maybe I could see get away with this without being sent home if they didn't realize who I was. I hoped so . . .


	3. Young Love Murder

**Young Love Murder**

_This Chapter Was Inspired by The Harold Song – Ke$ha_

As I stood in the rain, I kept my head hung and my eyes shut tightly all while I was visually shaking my head. Never, did I think I would be arrested for anything in the world. This _wasn't_ me! I wasn't a trouble maker and yet look at what was happening. Look at what I had done over the course of the past few days. I couldn't believe it to be honest. It all felt like a dream. It couldn't be happening. But I knew it was. It was all too surreal with the lights of the police car shining in the night light, the sound and feel of the rain hitting the back of my jacket and the thunder, along with the bright, blinding flash of the lightning..

I could hear the footsteps of the police officer walking up to me and a voice on their radio talking. I knew it was from the other police car from up the road, as I could hear someone speaking the same words as what was coming through on the radio. I was surprised when a lady spoke back. I looked up slightly, without letting her see my face. She walked alone while speaking into her radio now in hand. "No, I got this one," she said quietly. I couldn't make out what the other voice said back, but then, from the cover of my hood, I could see them arresting the guy I had knocked out. He was even taller then all three policeman who had hold of him.

I heard the woman walk up behind me. "Put your hands behind your back," she ordered. I did as I was told, hoping if I worked with them and did as they said, it would all go better for me and I might just get off scot free. But I didn't think that was likely.

"Do you have anything like weapons on you?" she questioned next.

"No," I murmured in a low tone while shaking my head. God this felt weird! How could it be happening? My dad would have freaked out if he knew. Let alone Charlie . . . I didn't even want to think what Charlie would think if he knew. He wouldn't ever trust me again!

Spite what I had answered the woman truthfully, she still padded over my pockets. I couldn't blame her. I was sure many, many people who have lied to her before with being armed or owning something illegal. I just hoped she didn't find my fake I.D with my name on it. "What happened?" she asked softly, looking up to me. I looked away and stayed silent. I didn't know why, but I just didn't feel right explaining myself to her. It just didn't feel safe to. And that didn't make any sense to me.

"Silent type hey?" she then said, taking hold my hands and walking me down to her car slowly. It puzzled me she was alone. I thought in New York police worked in pairs. I even thought back home they did too. It didn't make any sense, no matter how I thought about it.

I picked up after a minute, the other police car driving away, along with another one. I thought, if I was going to do a runner, now was the perfect time to do it. The steel hand cuffs were nothing under the strength I had. They would break in a second under just half of my strength. But . . . I needed to be closer to the city. I needed to around the middle of New York to find an apartment to stay in.

I was glad to be out of the rain as she closed the door on me once I was inside the car. It was there while she was still outside of the car and with her back turned on me; I broke the cuffs chain in two. I still kept my hands behind my back like the cuffs were still in one piece though. Just so she wouldn't get suspicious. She got into the cruiser a moment later and started to slowly drive.

I kept my head hung so she couldn't see my face in the lights of the city, but I could feel she looked up to me every now and again. "So what happened?" she asked again, and again I stayed silent. I tilted my head to the side to look out the window, seeing the slow traffic passing us and the bright lights of buildings of the city.

"I saw how those guys ganged up on you?" she murmured suddenly. That caught my attention. She or another officer must have been going around the city and caught sight of us. Just my luck! I was so damn focused on those five kids I wasn't taking much attention to anything else. "You must have been scared out there, all lone. Five against one," she added after a minute. "And then that big guy came out. What did you do to him?"

I shook my head, confused to why I was about to speak. But I knew maybe if I spoke up now, it would maybe help things. "I was defending myself," I murmured. "That's it."

"I realize that," she said softly, looking back to me in the mirror of the car. "Those guys are dangerous. I'm guessing you're not a part of them? Or you've done something to make them distrust you and then turn on you?"

"No, I'm not a part of them and never have been," I half growled. Just the thought of someone thinking I was with those guys made me sick and angry. I wouldn't _ever_ want to be one of those low lives! I felt the same way about them as I felt about vampires, just not as much distaste for them.

"Okay, okay. I'm just asking. No need to go getting uptight about it."

"They annoy me. To even think someone else thought I was with them . . . makes me sick," I explained bitterly.

"What is it about them, that annoys you so much?"

"Everything," I muttered.

For a few minutes, she stayed quiet, like she was thinking deeply about something and then her following question confirmed that for me. "You're not a trouble maker are you? Just were in the wrong place at the wrong time." She spoke her words like it was more like a statement, like she knew me from birth and up to this day. I didn't get how someone could speak so confidently and in word of fact, like they had known you all their life, and yet, they hadn't even been around you for a full hour. Sam had spoken to me like this too when I first phased, like he had been in my life from the word go and had seen everything I did.

I didn't answer her after that. What she had said, was only half true now. I used to be like that. I always kept out of trouble and never looked for it, but now, I was a trouble maker. I needed trouble . . . to keep my mind off of . . . _her._ I looked up to the car window and took notice to where in the city we were now. We seemed to be getting close to the middle of New York. The traffic was dull as we passed a couple of shops. I closed my eyes, thinking how stupid I was for what I was planning to do next. But if I was going to do anything, now was the time to do it. I bit my lip and closed my eyes for a moment while taking in a deep breath. I wouldn't be even thinking about tempting this if I were human!

Quickly I glanced up to see she was no longer looking at me. Slowly my hands came around my front and reached for the handle of the door. I grasped it tightly in my hand and pushed it open. I jumped from the moving car and did half a back flip to land on the footpath. My hands and knee touched the sidewalk; I feel I had grazed my hands and when I looked down to my jeans and saw I had ripped the knee area of them and with it I had also cut my knee. It was bleeding a little, but was healing. I could feel it. I looked over my shoulder to see the police car turning around quickly and coming my way. I took off running through the rain and night, passing shops and going down dark alleys until I hit a fence. It had to be around seven foot high, but it wasn't stopping me. I found a fire escape off one of the builds. I ran up it just enough so I could jump over the fence and then kept on running until there was no way she or any of the other police could still be tracking me. But still, I stayed wary.

My heart was beating quickly with adrenaline coursing through my veins like I hadn't ever felt before. I felt good. Real good! I started to run, just for the sheer fun and feeling of it this time. I passed more alleyways and streets, until I came to a quiet part of New York. A few cars passed me every few seconds. There were a few pubs and clubs around, but they weren't what interested me most. It was the tall white building on the corner of where I stood which caught my attention. It was an apartment building. I could tell by the balconies above me. Some of them had clothes on them, other's had pot plants or chairs. I started looking around, looking for an entrance into the building. As I turned the corner, I then saw the doors leading up to the front desk. I went inside, into the warmth. The whole place was fancy white and there was only a front desk in the room with an elevator in front of the entrance and a door hiding the staircase behind it on the left of the elevator.

I glanced down at my _was_ bleeding knee. It was fully healed now, but I couldn't say the same for the knee of my jeans sadly. I walked up to the front office and saw a lady looking at a desktop computer before seeing me and smiling kindly, but then her expression changed a little. Most likely with seeing just how wet I was. Her hair was a strawberry blond and short, skin fair and her eyes were a light blue with a pair of reading glasses hanging from her nose. "May I help you?" she asked.

"I'm looking for an apartment to stay in."

"Of course," she smiled again and stood up. "Would you like to have a look around at some we have available?"

I smiled back and shook my head. "No. I'm not too worried. Any room with furniture will be good enough, thank you."

"Sure." She then walked into the small room behind the front office and walked up to a shelf type thing and picked something up before heading back to her office chair. She placed a key in front of me which was marked two-zero-three and then started typing on the keyboard of the computer.

I looked to the woman as she put a piece of paper in front of me with a pen along with it. "Just fill that out and I'll show you to your room," she said kindly. I looked down to the piece of paper and then started filling out everything. It wasn't long before I was in my new apartment.

It wasn't as small as I had thought it would have been. It was all white, but in a more of a typical New York style of white. On my right of the entrance was the kitchen. It was all silver appliances, with shiny black countertops running along the far wall with a stove, fridge, freezer and dish washing machine along the wall near the door. The tiles on the floor were a light grey with a huge table in the middle of the room. The carpet of the lounge room was a creamy white with white walls. A cream couch was in the middle of the room and in the corner, next to the window of the balcony was a twenty-inch TV, sitting on a glass TV stand. In the middle of the room was a glass coffee table.

I walked over to the window of the balcony, pulling back the sidling door I stepped outside and was amazed by the view. It was still raining heavily outside. The lightning was still flashing brightly and violently on the darkened horizon. The lights of New York were so bright and amazing from where I stood. I was standing on the fifth floor of the building, and I felt like I was standing on one of the cliffs back home with the strong wind blowing around me.

I stepped back inside and started to think about going to bed. It was still only early in the night, but I really didn't care. I went into the basic bedroom and saw I had a double bed, but it wasn't made. On either side of the bed there were white bedside tables and on the other side of the room was a white cupboard. I went over to it, expecting to find sheets and blankets, but it was just an empty cupboard. _I guess you have to get your own, _I thought and closed the doors on the cupboard.

I grabbed my apartment's keys from the coffee table in the other room and headed out the door and downstairs to go to the shops. Once I got downstairs, I remembered I had no way of getting to the shops without going back out into the rain.

"Is everything okay Jacob?" the same lady who had given me the room asked from behind her desk.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just don't have anything to get around the city in," I answered, walking over to her slowly.

She smiled before speaking again. "I'll get a taxi for you."

"Thank you."

Now why hadn't I thought of that? I shook my head with thinking how stupid I was for not thinking of that sooner. I guess I was so used to being in the frame of mind of not having money, and now I had some I didn't think of using it!

Thankfully it didn't take long for the taxi to come and I was right in the middle of New York at a shopping centre. I just got the basics I needed – towels, some clothes which actually fit me, a pair of shoes, food, sheets and a blanket just encase – and then got some dinner before going back to my new home to eat. It felt so weird when I stepped in the door, to know _this_ place was my new home. I could do _anything_ I wanted here and now. I hadn't ever thought about living in a town before, let alone a city like New York. It all felt so foreign to me. I always thought I would be forever around La Push with my sister, father and pack.

As I walked the short distance between the elevators to my apartment, I saw a girl with long brown hair, pale while skin and chocolate brown eyes. "Bella?" I questioned to myself, staring at her for a moment and then shook my head to realize she was nothing like Bella. I was seeing things. I was going crazy again.

As I got into my apartment, I had to shake my head again and get the idea of Bella out of my head. She wouldn't come looking for me. I knew that. And even if she did, she wouldn't _ever_ mind me in New York. I just had to get the idea into my head that she wasn't ever going to be in my life again and that was how I needed it to be. I needed to get over her. I had to. She wasn't mine and she wasn't ever going to be. And yet, I felt like it was all weighting me down.

That vampire attack may have not killed me, but this felt like it definitely could. I had always heard true love hurt, but I didn't think it could ever be like this. I never truly believed true love could and would hurt so much, so often. But if it was true love, why weren't we together? That question always confused me to no end. I knew my feelings for Bella were real and they were everything, if not more than what I felt for her. She didn't think she was beautiful, but I did. I thought she was more like beautiful a princess from a fairy-tale. As far as I was concerned, she could have been a supermodel, actress, anything which required you to be beautiful. She was different to any other girl I had seen in my life. Bella was my first and only love. But that didn't seem to be enough for her. I didn't know what would be. I would have done anything for her to be mine. I would have been anything for her.

After I ate dinner and had a shower, it was two in the morning and I was more than ready for bed. I had been planning on going to bed earlier than I was. I hadn't slept in over twenty-four-hours, and it was starting to show. As I lay on my side, in the light of the lamp beside my bed, I stared at the other side of the bed as my hand ran over top of it while I was consumed by thought. I wished so much that Bella was lying beside me right there and then. I would have given everything to not be sleeping alone. I would have given anything to have her lying by my side, asleep in my arms, and I falling asleep to the sound of her heart beating. I sighed, turned off the lamp's light and closed my eyes while trying to forget the wishes I knew would never come and get to sleep instead. But even in sleep I couldn't escape Bella or the pain. . .

"Bella? Bella where are you?" I shouted while running franticly through the thick forest of La Push. In the pit of my stomach, I could just feel there was something wrong . . . and it wasn't anything small either.

It was raining heavily upon my back as I ran. The lightning was blinding me each time it flashed through the night sky. The thunder was so loud it almost hurt my ears, but I ignored it all. I just had to find Bella and fast. I could feel time was running out.

My heart raced as I was almost gasping for breath from running so hard and fast. I fought my inner wolf to stay where and how it was. I didn't want it to take over, I couldn't let it, and that made no sense to me. I could run so much faster in my wolf form than in my human, and I could sense so much more.

Desperation was finally starting to win me over until I heard a scream. "Jacob!" It was Bella. I knew it was. I could feel it in my heart it was her. I kept running with knowing she wasn't far from me now and then the scent of blood hit me hard, along with the scent of sickly sweet. My pulse picked up with smelling those two scents. So many things were going through my mind at once.

Something told me to slow down as I got closer to the scents and I knew why when I went around the side of a path in the forest. My heart sunk with the sight. There lay Bella on the forest floor in a pool of blood and two bite marks on her neck. I went weak at my knees and dropped to the floor of the forest with not been able to hear a beat of her heart. I leaned over her with not being sure what to do other than to check her already dead pulse. She was colder than ice. "Bella," I murmured and nudged her shoulder in some crazy hope it would wake her, but nothing happened. I felt like I couldn't breathe. My chest was tight and my heart was racing so hard it hurt. My breath was shaky and so was my entire body from what I saw beside me. So many things were going through my mind. I was so close to saving her. I should have phased, and if I had, maybe she would have still been alive. Maybe I could have saved her. It was my entire fault! I knew I shouldn't have left her alone.

My hand ran over the side of her neck, over the two bloodied wounds. I knew Edward hadn't done this. There wasn't a way in hell it had been him and if it had, he still would be by her side. I knew he wouldn't ever hurt Bella intentionally. The bite marks were too thin and shallow to be of a vampire of his _young_ age. An older vampire had done this by what the legends of my tribe had foretold. I looked down to my hands lightly coated in her blood. I didn't care about the blood. I didn't care about anything anymore. Everything I had cared and loved was gone now. Meaning to my life had gone along with Bella's final breath.

I took in one shaky breath and softly kissed her icy and lifeless lips for the last time. For the short time she had been mine, I had appreciated ever second of it. Somehow, deep down I had known it was going to be short lived, and I had made the most of it.

"I love you Bella," I whispered huskily as I fought back the tears. I could even feel my inner wolf howling for my loss, and it hadn't ever cared for Bella like I had.

With hearing a stick snapping behind me, I looked over my shoulder swiftly to see a blurred figure moving. "Poor Jakey," the woman's voice chimed teasingly with a giggle. I knew that voice somehow. "I guess you're all mine now."

I growled and stood to my feet, trying to catch eye of her. I knew who it was now. "Come out and show yourself Kasey!" I shouted, looking around the tree tops and staying on guard to every sound and scent around me.

"In due time Jacob," her voice echoed.

I awoke gasping for breath and dripping in sweat from head to toe. My heart was beating so fast I thought it was about to beat right out of my chest. The tightness in my chest was even worse than it had been in my dream. Heat rose in my spine as I fought with my inner wolf for it to realize nothing had happened. There was no threat, I knew that, but I couldn't help but still feel like there was. That dream had been even so vivid to any other I had before, but in ways it didn't make any sense. I didn't know anyone with the name of Kasey.

The sudden sound of the thunder outside made me jump and one of the images from my dream flash before my eyes. "Stupid storm!" I growled, looking out to the window of the balcony and seeing just how heavily the rain was coming down outside.

I sighed, running my wet hand over my sweaty face. There was no way I could or wanted to go back to sleep now. I looked to my alarm clock on the side table of my bed and saw it was almost five-thirty.

I got up and made my way into the shower before making eggs for breakfast while watching TV. I had managed to move the TV so I could watch it from standing at the stove. And you would think watching TV while making and eating would be enough to keep my mind of my dream and Bella, but that was far from that fact.

I couldn't focus on the TV or the stove while cooking. I almost burnt the eggs while staring down at them because I was consumed by thought, and then I almost blew up a plate after putting it in the oven to warm it up. I never did those things back home! I was always fully alert and never forgot about things like that. I didn't know what I was going to do, but something had to give! I couldn't keep living like this!

After eating breakfast, I thought about going to one of the pubs or clubs near my apartment. I needed another escape and music as well as alcohol seemed to be the only two things which worked for apart from getting into fights – which I thought I had more than enough of over the past couple of days.

With going to my room, I pulled on a grey V neck tee shirt and a black leather jacket I had bought last night with a hood on it. As I walked downstairs, I pulled the hood over my head with seeing a couple of girls walking my way. Both of them had dead straight blond hair tied back into pony tails, with bright pink lipstick highlighting their lips. After I had passed, I could sense their eyes were on me – that always happened, no matter how much or how little clothes I had on. I shook my head and kept on walking as I heard them whispering to each other.

"Totally tap that," one of them giggled. I couldn't help but smirk and roll my eyes as I got to the front office. If I were human, I wouldn't have been able to hear a thing they had said. Sometimes I wished it was that way. . .

Outside, the rain had slowed a little as I walked around the corner I saw a place lit up brightly with signs and lights flashing up end of the street I was standing on. The music was so loud I could hear every word of the current song from where I stood. I decided it would be good enough for now and started to head for it.

The doors to the club were open with bouncers at the entrance. Nervously, I showed them my I.D and hoped they didn't work out it was fake or that I was underage, but thankfully they didn't pick up on anything wrong with it and allowed me inside.

I couldn't believe my eyes and ears once I walked in. It was a completely different place to the other club I had went to. There was so much more room here, the lights flashed brightly around the room, on the floor and walls. The lights on the walls made it look like it was under the sea. Waitresses went around the whole club serving people food and drinks as dancing music blurred loudly around the club. It was really busy, but there was room to walk without having pushing past anyone. On the walls I noticed there were posters of popular singers who were going to be preforming on the weekend. I started to think it was an entertainment club with the full works.

Paul had told me about such clubs which had everything and everything going for them. Music, parties, performers, and games for the older people on some days, pokies, and even strippers at times, some even had pools, so Paul said. Of course, Paul went to the clubs with strippers before he met Rachel and imprinted on her. He always went to Seattle or another big city for a couple of days to have some _fun_.

I really hated to think he – of all the pack – had to imprint on Rach. He could be such a player at times, but I hoped that had all gone South now thanks to the imprint. I really didn't want to see her hurt. I told him straight when I found out they were together, that if he ever hurt her, he would be dead meat with me, and to my surprise, even Sam got in on it.

While looking around and allowing the hard beat of the music to pulse through me while dancing and take away my emotions, one of the dancers in the crowd around me caught my eye. She danced perfectly to the rhythm of the beat, swaying her whole body and hair like waves of the ocean. It was just so natural to her, like she was born to dance and there was no other language she knew better than the beat of music.

As she turned around and caught my gaze, I realized it was the same girl as I had kept seeing in the other club and again, I felt that connection. It was like a pull, but this time it was a lot stronger. I didn't know what it meant or what it was, but it was starting to annoy me with trying to work it out.

She smiled at me and continued dancing, but it was different this time. It was sexier and yet the music hadn't changed at all. I could sense she was trying to get my attention by the way she was dancing and glancing at me through the shield of her wavy long blond hair as a grin appeared on her lips. I smirked and shook my head while walking away. What was it about that girl? She wasn't like any other girl I had ever met before in my life.

Finally after all that time, I found the bar and ordered myself a drink. I sat down on one of the pulled up chairs and started watching the crowd around me. There were so many people in this place. I hadn't ever seen so many people in the same place all at once before.

As the bar tender pushed my drink towards me, I took it into my hand and took a sip as he spoke. "Ten-fifty," he said huskily. I nearly choked while swallowing with hearing him. Like I could afford any more than this one drink – even that was too much! That was a crazy price I thought.

"Ah, sure," I coughed, trying to clear my throat as I pulled out my credit card and slid it over to him.

After it was paid for, I got up with my drink in hand and went to sit at one of the tables in the corner of the club which was a little darker than the rest of the place. My eyes narrowed on two guys he looked up to me as I passed them. My inner wolf growled with a warning to me, but I didn't need it to tell me these two guys were up to no good, nor did I really care though. They wouldn't have been able to see my face with my hood still over my head. I walked down to the end of the table away from them while keeping my eyes on the crowd of dancers. I would have gone to another table altogether if they weren't all taken up.

My eyes stayed focused on the people dancing before my eyes. My mind instantly skipped to Bella when I thought I saw her dancing in front of me. I shook my head and ran my hand over my face as I took a mouthful of my drink in hope it would take away some of the pain. I knew it wasn't her. Bella couldn't dance and refused to. I was delusional. I knew I was. I sighed and looked down to my now empty glass in my hand. That drink didn't seem to have done anything to my nerves like it had on previous occasions. What was I going to do now to get the feeling of being numb back? All I wanted was to be blank and numb. I didn't want to feel the pain anymore. And I thought that was what I had to do to get on with my life – be blank and numb.

"Here, try it," one of the guys from up the table said and slid a small folded piece of paper to me. I looked up to the one who had pushed it towards me. He wore a dark jacket, baseball hat and had a small beard. Once again my inner wolf growled in warning, but I ignored it.

"What is it?"

"Wolfsbane," he answered.

"No way, that's toxic!" I half shouted and pushed it away from me. I had heard of that herb before on the res, and everyone said it was a lethal plant which in myth was supposed to affect werewolves. I didn't know we had it in America though.

The two guys looked to each other and laughed. "Don't worry about it kid. It's not the original toxic plant. It's the drug. It's perfectly safe."

I scoffed quietly under my breath. Like that made me want to try it even more! Though it didn't stop me from thinking about it . . . Maybe it was what I needed to feel numb. I was a werewolf, what was the worst thing it could do to me? Sam had already told us all nothing in the human world could kill us. It was only a vampire bite which could kill us. I was a little sceptical of that fact of a vampire bite was the _only_ thing which could kill us, but I guess I had believe Sam, with him being the almighty Alpha and all.

"And what does it do?" I questioned, looking up to the two of them.

"Wipes you blank of anything you don't want to think about. Cops think it's meth for how it tests up as."

I rolled my eyes. Great, if I was caught with this stuff, I would surly go to jail, but it was just what I needed, if I could trust what these guys had to say. I had to keep reminding myself I was a werewolf. Nothing _human_ could hurt me, apart from Bella that is . . . I grimaced as I thought of her name. That was all it took to set me off.

"Fine," I murmured and got up to get a drink of water. I could tell it wasn't anything alike the usual drugs. I could smell it was sickly-sweet like a leech, and in the past, I haven't been too good with that _flavour_. Out of all the tastes and smells it had to be, it had to be sickly-sweet‼

I sighed at the bar as I got some water. I couldn't believe what I was thinking. This wasn't me and yet it was. It was the new me, and I didn't like it. But, with the way I felt, I was going to do anything to just try and get Bella off of my mind. I had to do something. I couldn't just live forever with her on my mind, and that was exactly what was going to happen if things kept up like this.

As I sat back down, I stared at the piece of paper in front of me. "So. . ." I paused with feeling stupid with not knowing how to use the stuff. The two guys started to laugh again, which made nothing better.

"You're new here aren't you?"

Why did everyone say that? "What makes you think that?" I asked casually and coy.

"Because if you come to clubs enough, you wouldn't be asking how to use Wolfsbane," one of them answered while shaking his head. "Do what you want with it. There's no right or wrong with it."

"Well, I'm new to clubs, so, that's why," I answered while staring down at the white piece of paper as I unfolded it and tipped it all into my mouth at once.

Yuk! It was worse than any leech I had torn apart! It was even sweeter. I shook my head while trying to swallow it. The second it was down I drank all the water in my glass at once to try and cover it. The water did very little to cover its taste though.

"Gross," I muttered while shaking my head again.

The two guys started laughing at me like it was the funniest thing they had ever seen. I was pretty sure they were both drunk and high. "It's not that bad."

I scoffed. "Tell that to my tongue then."

The guy with the beard laughed again. "I like you kid. You got attitude. "

"Ah, thanks . . . I think."

God that stuff was still left an after taste! I definitely won't be complaining of the taste of leeches ever again! With thinking about leeches, normally the thought of Bella would come to me too . . . but it didn't, nor did any of the images from my dream flash before my eyes. I actually felt a little numb and my mind felt like it wasn't capable of thinking about her or anything from our past together. There was no thought of her in my head. It was all gone, completely. The stuff had actually worked. I felt like my old self again, without any thought of Bella. I could even think her name now, without it hurting. It had worked so quickly too. I didn't have the slightest feeling of pain in me now. The thoughts and memories of her had stopped fully. Finally I was free!

"Wow," I murmured, thinking it was just to myself.

"Feel better?"

"Yeah, thanks," I said, looking up to the two of them. "If I want more, where do I get it from?"

The bearded guy looked to his friend sitting beside him. I couldn't tell what he looked like for the hood jacket he wore and the dark lighting of where we sat. The bearded guy looked back over to me and signalled me to come over closer with his finger. As I got to his side, he handed me a card with an address on it.

"Go there, but watch yourself," he said lowly.

My eyes narrowed with hearing him. "Watch myself?" I questioned.

"Don't have that attitude around that place."

I nodded, getting the idea. "Okay, and thanks again," I said and walked away, putting the card with the address on it into my back pocket of my jeans as I headed for the exit. I wanted to get something to eat for lunch – really dinner for time of the night it was, but I hadn't had lunch yet due to the time I had woken up.

The night air felt so nice against my face as I walked outside and onto the footpath. It had been hotter in that club than I had thought, or maybe the Wolfsbane was putting up my temperature. I could definitely feel that it had my heart beating faster, but it was nothing to what my heart had gone through today when I woke up. I never wanted to have another dream like that again!

Finally the rain had fully stopped but the lightning still hung around on the far off horizon as I walked down the streets and into the direction of the club I usually went to. I would have had ordered something in the club I had just been in, but there was no way I was going to be able to afford anything much there. It was a wonder the place had been so busy with the prices of the drinks there.

I was surprised when I turned the corner and seen the club I usually went to in front of me. I hadn't realized how close it was to my apartment building until that moment. I really noticed the difference between this club to the other when I walked in. I felt Closter phobic really. But I ignored it the best I could. At times I wanted to take my hood off to try and get rid of the feeling, but I knew I couldn't do that encase anyone recognized me, especially after yesterday with the police. I really didn't want a criminal record under my name.

While waiting for my lunch at the bar, I ordered a drink to go along with it. The drink really wasn't to cover up my emotions like the last few times I had drank, as the Wolfsbane was still taking care of that for me. This time, I was drinking for no reason, and I didn't know if that was a bad or good thing.

My eyes closed with hearing the music becoming louder. The beat felt so strong now. I hadn't ever felt beat of music so strong before. I wondered if it was from the Wolfsbane. Maybe it was doing more to me than I had first thought? The flashing coloured lights seemed brighter than usual too.

I sighed with hearing a plate been placed behind me. I turned around, picked it up and then took it over to one of the tables on the other side of the room. There I saw Anthony and a couple of his friends talking to one and other.

As I past their table, Anthony looked up to me and smiled slightly with a nodded while listening to whatever his friend was saying. I didn't see Tyler hanging with him anymore. I wondered if his hands were still busted up or not from punching me.

After a few minutes, I heard footsteps coming closer to my table and looked up to see Anthony pulling up a chair to my table. He smiled and looked me in the eye as his smile disappeared so abruptly. "Jake, are you high?" he whispered.

I rolled my eyes. How was it that seriously obvious? "How did you know?" I murmured.

"The glassy look in your eye. Man, what are you on?"

"Wolfsbane. Do you know anything about it?"

"Not much really. I just know a dealer."

I smirked with hearing that. "I thought you would."

"Why are you on that shit? I thought you would know better than that."

"I do," I said in a low tone while taking a bite of the lamb chop I had on my fork. "I just couldn't keep up with the things I had been doing."

I was looking down at my food while talking, but I could feel his eyes had narrowed upon me with hearing those words. I knew some tough questions were going to get asked now and I really wasn't looking forward to answering them.

"What stuff? What's going on Jake? Someone like you really doesn't belong in a place like this and doing what you're doing."

"I already told you."

"I don't buy it. There's more to it. I know there is."

Yeah, like I could explain it for the life of me without someone wanting to put me in a science lab and cut me to shreds all in the name of science! It was so likely that story would be told to anyone! Instead, I decided to try and tell half of the story, but I knew no one would understand what I was going through unless they were me. And sure enough I was right.

"No girl is worth what you're putting yourself through. Just, get over her and get a new girl. You shouldn't go trashing your life for her."

I understood what he was saying, but it wasn't like that at all. I had tried so many times to get over Bella and find someone else, but it wasn't just that easy. I wanted to get on with my life, but it was impossible with the pain I was feeling and then the dreams I was having along with it all too.

"I know, but it's not just that easy," I murmured as Anthony stood. I looked up to him in wonder of what he was thinking.

"I gotta go Jake. Later man," he said in a low tone and then walked off. I knew he was thinking I was crazy now. I would be surprised if he ever spoke to me again. I had told him everything I had done and felt, and yet it still didn't make sense to him. It seemed to only make sense to me and me only. None of the pack understood, Bella didn't understand, no one did. It seemed to be I was alone on the subject.

I sighed and stood up, getting ready to leave. It had to be getting late by the feel of it. I glanced over my shoulder and again, something caught my attention. Again, it was _her_! I knew it was her by how she was dressed, her hair and makeup. It was all bold and sexy, which I got the feeling she acted like too - sexy. She was in the crowd dancing like she had been at the other club. My eyes narrowed in confusion as I shook my head. How was it I kept bumping into her? Was she following me? And why, once again was I feeling the connection to her, but this time it was stronger, again. Somehow, she much have felt my gaze upon her. She looked over to me and smiled crookedly for a moment and then looked away again.

I was just going to ignore it once again. I started to head towards the exit until she walked up to me and smiled while taking my wrist into her hand without saying a word. She moved to the music while I held her gaze and she smiled up at me. I didn't know why, but I was fully at ease and relaxed around her. I didn't understand why I was getting those feelings. I hadn't ever been so relaxed around someone I didn't know before, but for some reason, I thought she was the same way. I got the feeling she didn't easily trust people she didn't know. How I knew that, or sensed that, I had no idea. It was just like she had said it to me, and yet she hadn't.

She winked at me, and tilted her head to the side and looked to the exit from the corner of her eye and then back at me again. Without thinking, I nodded in agreement as she led the way outside. As we walked outside into the fresh cool air, she led the way around back of the club and then turned around, pushing me up against the red brick wall of the club while holding my gaze the entire time. She wasn't far from being my height. She could have easily been a supermodel. As she held my gaze, I could feel my heart pick up in speed, but it wasn't out of fear.

She smiled again and let go of my wrist while reaching up, touching the sides of my hood before pulling it off of my head. I didn't know why, but I still felt at ease around her. I wouldn't have let anyone act like this around me, unless I knew them.

"What's your name?" she whispered softly, while looking into my eyes.

"Jacob Black. And you are?"

"Sage Skyla Hopkins, but I'm known as Skyla."

I smiled while tilting my head to the side. "Nice to meet you." I saw her cheeks light up a light pink after I had spoken. She was nervous and shy.

"You're just like me, aren't you?" she questioned then.

I was a little shaken with her words being said. I didn't really understand what she meant and then again, I did at the same time. "Just like you, being?"

"A werewolf," she answered.

My eyes widened down on her in shock. That was the connection between us, and she must have felt it too. Everything made sense to me now. I didn't know why, but my inner wolf wanted to come fourth suddenly, like it had something to show her. When I pushed it back, I abruptly got the feeling I could teach her something she didn't understand. I knew the feeling. It was the same feeling I got when Sam wasn't around. I was the Alpha and meant to direct the others to what they needed to do.

"Yeah, I am. You're new to this life, aren't you?"

She nodded and looked away. "Yes," she murmured, and then then looked up to me from the corner of her eye. "How did you know?"

I smirked then. "Alpha."


	4. Under the Silver Moon

**Author's Note**: Thank you so much for all the review love so far guys! Keep it coming! I love hearing what you guys think and what you think will happen next, and if you have any questions, let me know. I'll answer in either personal message or in the next chapter of the story.

Also I was thinking about adding Bella's point of view. What do you guys think? Do you want to read Bella's point of view too in this book, or in a second? Let me know, – Sky \m/^_~\m/

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><p><strong>Under the Silver Moon<strong>

_This Chapter Was Inspired by Tired of Being Sorry - Enrique Iglesias_

I knew by the things and emotions I was feeling within that moment, everything with being a werewolf had changed greatly for me. I knew I was now an Alpha, whether I chose to be or not. And it wasn't just to do with blood of a past Alpha's running through my veins either, it was also to do with teaching others. Sam hadn't even thought about being an Alpha until Paul and Jared first phased and needed his help. But because he was the most experienced in the field of the three of them, he took the place as Alpha to help and guide them.

I may not have chosen to be an Alpha back home, but the second I knew and sensed Skyla was new to this life, I wanted to help her. I knew I couldn't just sit back and know I could have been helping her, but wasn't. I knew what it was like to be new to this life and it was scary. You didn't know what on earth was happening to you, why it was happening or what would become of you. It was all like some horrible nightmare you couldn't and wouldn't wake up from.

Her eyes narrowed slightly with hearing me. Her body tensed slightly and her emotions had changed. She was slightly fearful now. "What does that mean?" she said in a low tone.

I tilted my head to the side while smiling lightly – trying to show her I meant her no harm in anyway. "It means I can read you better than anyone else, and I can help you with anything you need. I won't hurt you Skyla. I can tell you don't trust strangers easily."

She relaxed fully after that and smiled slightly. "So, you have a pack?"

That caught me off guard. I looked away from her gaze then and to the grass around the footpath just a few feet away from us. "Used to," I murmured huskily.

"What happen to them?"

"Nothing happened to them. I just . . . left. It's a long story really," I looked back to her and smiled half-heartedly. I wanted to try and cover up how I had reacted. I didn't want to speak about the past and with being high on the Wolfsbane, I didn't really think I could explain it, even if I wanted to. I still didn't feel like I was capable of thinking about Bella to explain it anyway, thanks to the Wolfsbane wiping my painful past of Bella away.

"Oh," she murmured and looked away from me. I could tell she was thinking about what to say next and I really didn't want her to find an answer. So I said the first thing which came to my mind.

"So how long have you been a werewolf?"

"Around a month I guess," she answered shyly with a hint of red in her cheeks.

My eyes widened with hearing that. _We were meant to find each other_, I thought, looking to the side, consumed by thought again. I had always been one for believing things happened for a reason and with how I and Skyla had felt a connection to each other like we had, it had me well and truly convinced.

"And you?" she asked after a few silence minutes.

I took back to her with hearing her speaking, but it took me a moment for her words to hit me and sink in. "Ah around five or six months I guess," I chuckled, rubbing the back of my neck with not being too sure.

I knew that it sounded weird I didn't know, but it wasn't really a thing I wanted to take too much noticed to. I'd sooner forget the whole thing ever happened to be honest. "So you've never met anyone like me before, I guess?"

She looked away from me fully then as I saw sadness come into her eyes. "Yeah I have. But their gone now, so . . . it doesn't matter."

I looked down at her closely, trying to work out what was going on in her life, but all I sensed was blankness and the feeling of being numb. "What happened to them?" I whispered.

She shook her head and forced a smile upon her lips. "Like you, long story," she giggled and walked over to the footpath. "So, are you going to teach me what you know almighty Alpha," she giggled.

I rolled my eyes with hearing her. What had it been, ten minutes I knew I was an Alpha to her and I was already being called names? Now I knew how Sam felt. I had to laugh at that thought, though. I was getting pay back for the name calling I had done to Sam over the past couple of months.

When I went to answer her, something just didn't feel right. I didn't feel like I had my inner wolf with me anymore. It felt . . . different. "I don't know if I can," I answered, looking away confused as all hell. That hadn't ever happened to me before.

I looked up to Skyla as she walked back over to my side, looking into my eyes closely, like she was searching for something. I looked away from her with remembering how Anthony had picked up on them being glassy no so long ago. The last thing I needed was to drag her into my messy life.

"You wouldn't by any chance have taken Wolfsbane, would you Jacob?"

With hearing her speak of Wolfsbane, I looked but up to her, slightly surprised by her question. I didn't know how to answer her. I didn't want to let the wolf out of the bag with my new secret, but I had to come up with something to answer her before she got suspicious on me. "What if I had?"

She laughed out loudly. "Your too much a like me. I would have said the same thing if I had taken it," she grinned and took a step closer to me. "It stops you from phasing for three or more days after you've taken it. Haven't you heard that it affects werewolves?"

Now I felt embarrassed and stupid. "I have, but I thought it was a myth. Is there anything else I should know about it, or you?"

"What is that supposed to mean?" Her eyes turned narrow while looking up to me.

"You obviously know enough about it, to have taken it too."

Her eyes dropped from mine. I was obviously right and had caught her off guard. I wondered what other secrets she was trying to keep to herself. I also started to wonder who the other werewolf was she had known and was no longer in her life. Even with only known Skyla for a few minutes, I could sense there was a lot more to this girl than I had first thought.

"It controls the phasing. I needed something, so, I tried it. And no, there isn't anything else you need to know about it, that I know of anyway. That's it. It wipes your mind blank of painful memories and stops the phasing for a couple of days. You can't feel your inner wolf, can you?" She looked back up to me with speaking her last question.

I just shook my head to answer her. I glanced up at the moon shining down on us. It was really getting late. "Do you have any place to stay?" I questioned with thinking about leaving. Her emotions changed again with my question being asked, but she was trying to hide it.

"Yeah, I do. I'm fine, thanks Jacob," she smiled half-heartedly.

"You're sure?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks though Jacob. I'll see you around then, will I?" She took a couple of steps away from me and then stopped.

"Of course you will," I smiled and handed her the name of my apartment building. "I'll find you, or can find me. Night Skyla."

"Night Jacob," she smiled again and turned her back upon me, walking back towards the club. I could tell there was something not quite right when I had asked her if she had a place to stay. She just suddenly changed, like it was something she didn't want to think about. And it seemed to be out of all the questions I had asked her, it was the one question she didn't like answering the most. As I headed towards home, I started to wonder if she had problems at home.

I wanted to know more about her, but I knew I couldn't just ask them all in one night or day. It would freak anyone out. I would just have to wait and see what came of things. I didn't know what it was, but I could easy sense she had a lot of things going on in her life, and I wasn't quite sure they were all good things either. I really didn't want to leave her, but I knew, if I left it much longer, I was going to collapse from being so tired.

As I got up to my apartment, I could feel the Wolfsbane was starting to wear off me as I was starting to think about Bella again. I should have known that guy would only give me enough that would only last for a couple of hours, just to give me a taste to keep me coming back for more – and it worked too. But I was still going to try and stay off of it. I didn't like the thought of it being the only thing which helped me to get over Bella.

I had a quick shower and got into bed by three in the morning. It was so tired I wasn't able to keep my eyes open another second when my head hit my pillow, but I couldn't really say it was restful sleep either. It was just like the past couple of nights . . . again, I dreamt of Bella.

"What were you thinking Jacob? It's not like you to go looking for trouble, drinking and looking for drugs!" she shouted at me while looking me in the eye. I knew I had really done it this time. She was furious with me and couldn't blame her. I knew it wasn't something I usually did, because it wasn't me. I had changed, all because of her.

"Are you addicted?" she said after a while and let out a deep breath of frustration. I could only just see her in the moonlight which was shining through the wall sized windows of what I thought could only be an apartment building much like mine, but fancier and more expensive.

"How many times do I have to tell you, Bella?" I sighed, shaking my head while trying to stay calm. "I don't need the drugs, I need you! I only tried them because I needed something to cover up the pain, and they were the only thing that did it."

"You have me Jacob! You know that!" she shook her head too and leaned against the back of the white couch in front of the TV. "How can you not see that?" she questioned in a murmur.

"I don't have you like I need you Bella. That's what hurts."

Her golden eyes met mine again with hearing my words being spoken and her gaze dropped again to the white tiled floor below us. The whole room was silence then, there was only the sound of my heart beating. It was the only thing I could hear – no traffic outside, no wind . . . just my heart beating quickly in my chest.

She shook her head again for what felt like the thousandth time today and met my gaze once more. "I thought you would hate me now. I'm a leech now. You're supposed to hate me and what I am."

My body shook with hearing her. "How can I hate the very person I've been in love with since I was a baby? Even with you being a . . . vampire, it doesn't change my feelings for you Bella. I love you and I need you, whether you're a vampire or human. You can still change your mind, you know that, that is why you were so shocked to see me, and that is why you refuse to listen to what I have to say, so I'll get mad and leave before I phase and hurt you, well it's not happening, because right now, I'm high, and it stops me from phasing. Yeah, that's right! I had to get high to see you and to work things out Bella! That is how my life is now, because it kills me to be without you!"

Her eyes rolled as her arms crossed tightly over her chest. I saw the hard look come over her face which only showed when things were getting too hard for her to handle and when she had convinced herself she was doing the 'right' thing by me or someone else. "You've always got me to talk to Jacob. Call me when you get home," she said in a low and even tone before walking out of the room.

I growled to myself, annoyed. I walked over to the table next to the door and grabbed my jacket on the way out. I was so finished, and enraged, I felt like I was going to do something really stupid if I didn't get out of there before Edward came home.

My eyes flashed open to the sunlight shining down on my face through the window as I still lay in bed. I sighed with turning onto my side, wishing the Wolfsbane had lasted through the night, so I could have at least slept one good night's sleep. But at least the dream wasn't anything as bad as it had been before.

I sighed and ran my hands over my face in frustration. It was always the same. I had Bella no matter what . . . I just didn't have her like I needed her the most. I needed her like she needed Edward, and I could so easily understand that in so many ways. What she felt for him, and why she needed him, was just like I needed her.

I growled with being annoyed I wasn't strong enough to fight my thoughts or Bella away myself, and looked to my alarm clock. It was two o'clock in the afternoon and I still felt tired. I must have been sleeping too long, or the couple of long nighters I had, still had hold of me.

I shook my head and grabbed my jeans from the floor beside my bed and pulled them on. I stared down at the floor for a moment, thinking. I did always have Bella for a friend, but it really wasn't enough for how I felt about her. I knew I couldn't stay around her and just be her friend either. I knew it was impossible without hurting the both of us more, because she would know I was still in love with her, no matter how I treated her or how much I covered it up. At times she could just read me like an open book which had been written for a three year old . . . and it was just as easy for me to read her too.

As I started to get breakfast ready, I splashed icy cold water over my face from over the sink, but it did little to wake me. Icy water back when I was fully human always worked. It frustrated me to know that too.

Just when I was about to get the eggs out of the fridge to start cooking breakfast with, I heard a knock on the door. I really didn't have any idea who it was. I wasn't expecting anyone, and I could only hope it wasn't the pack or worse, Edward. I wouldn't have put it past Bella to get him to come and find me either. I knew how much she cared for me. I just wished it was enough to change things between us. I growled again with that thought. I really had to stop giving myself a pity party, even if it was in my own head . . . it really wasn't going to help anything.

"Hang on," I shouted with grabbing my grey tank top from the couch and pulled it on as I answered the door. As my hand touched the door handle my inner wolf growled lightly – like it was still half asleep – to me in warning. I was surprised that it was wake so soon after taking the Wolfsbane with what Skyla had said about it last night. _Yeah, yeah, I get the idea_, I thought, knowing I just couldn't ignore the door now, even if it was Edward.

As I opened the door, I couldn't help but be slightly shocked with seeing Skyla on the other side, with her wrist bandaged, a slight cut on the side of her cheek and her hand to the side of her face, covering up a bleeding wound. There were tears in her blue eyes as she looked up to me. She had been holding them back until she had seen me as they flowed down the side of her face. Her hands went to covering her face as she sobbed.

"Oh Jacob!"

"Hey, hey, what happened?" I whispered softly and wrapped my arms around her.

"My step father, that's what!" I she cried into my shoulder as I closed the door behind her and sat her on the couch. Her words hadn't yet registered in my head until I had her sitting down beside me. My eyes narrowed with confusion while looking down to her. "Your step father did this?"

She nodded and closed her eyes. "We got into a fight."

I took in a deep breath, while trying to process it all in my brain. I knew there was more to Skyla than she was letting on! And I also knew there was something bothering her about going home last night, and if this wasn't proof of it, I didn't know what was!

"Tell me from the start what happened?" I said as I got a damp cloth and dabbed the slowly healing wound on the side of her head. It was obvious she was new to this life. If she had been a werewolf for a while now, the wound would have fully healed already. That was the thing with newbie werewolves, the fast healing and being rock hard didn't come straight away like the speed and sensitive senses did.

"I sing at clubs to get paid, and my step father always gets three quarters of my money, because he sends all his on drinking and god knows what else! So I told him he wasn't getting any more of my money and we started fighting, like usual. He pushed me into the door and I hit my head."

"What about your cheek, and your wrist?"

"I did that. A branch cut my cheek as I ran and the same happened to my wrist, but it was deeper, so I had to cover it up."

"What does your mum say about this happening?" I asked as I took off the bandage from around her wrist, while examining the cut. It was deep and it was still slightly bleeding. It was when things like this happened I was glad I had taken a First Aid course when I was in school. If she wasn't a werewolf, I would have said she would need stitches, but a band aid to pull the skin together would be enough to make it heal fully and quickly.

She scoffed at my question. "She doesn't care. She's not even my real mother. The only two people I had in my life who cared are gone."

I looked up to her with hearing that. A heap of questions flooded my mind then, but I didn't have to speak to get one of the questions answered. I guessed my eyes had being enough to tell her I had question.

"I was adopted out Jacob, then put into a foster home."

"I'm sorry," I whispered, looking over the small light cut on her cheek, which was good as healed, apart from a little blood around it. I cleaned it up with just wiping a little soapy water over it, just to be safe. "What happened for you to be adopted?"

"My mum gave me up when I was born. I was adopted into a drunken family and then put into the one I am in. My life seemed to turn around when I came into this family, because my 'dad' actually cared, until he died, and then Dave came into my so called mum's life."

"Does he always get like this?" I asked, walking into the kitchen and got out the first aid kit – I had bought it the night I got my apartment – from out of the cupboard and walked back over to her side to attend to her wrist. I guess anyone would ask why on earth a werewolf would have a first aid kit, even know I was a werewolf who healed fast, but I kept in mind not everyone around me was like that.

I pulled out a small band aid and pulled her skin together where it was cut before placing the band aid over top to keep the skin in place. I was surprised she only grimaced the whole time I was fixing the cut. It would have hurt a lot. It had been lucky the cut wasn't any deeper than it was, or it would have cut into a vein.

"This is the least he's done," she murmured, running her hand over the side of her head and winced slightly. "I got out of there before I he could do anything more. "

I sighed and sat beside her while shaking my head. "You've got to report him to the police."

She eyes went wide with hearing me. I heard and sensed her heart start racing and it was only then I realized just how scared of him she was. Her body language spoke so loudly to me. "N-no, no, you can't Jacob! He'll find out and kill me! I don't want you getting involved with this Jacob. Please."

I studied her face for a moment while staring into her light blue eyes. I hadn't ever seen someone so scared in my life. I didn't even think such fear existed. "He won't come near you while I'm around Skyla, plus the police will keep you safe too."

"Pffh! The cops can't protect me at all. Jacob, please, please just promise me that you won't report him or anything stupid like that. Let me just take care of it, please."

"Fine, but, from now on, you're staying with me. That's an order. I don't want you hurt." I didn't know why, but suddenly I felt so protective of her. Just the thought of her being hurt by anyone, made my inner wolf growl violently inside me, and want to give pay back for whoever touched her! I hadn't felt such a strong feeling of wanting to protect someone before in my life . . . outside of Bella that is.

She looked me in the eye with both shock and happiness, which kind of caught me off guard too. I sort of expected she would refuse to stay with me. I mean, I knew she didn't trust strangers easily, I had sensed that from the start and we were basically still strangers to one and other, but there was the one thing we shared which, I guess made us both at ease within each other's presence, and that was being both werewolves. We had to keep the secret, or risk ending up on a science lab's table. . .

"Are you serious? I can stay here?" A smile beamed across her face after speaking and I could sense she was now over whelmed with relief and happiness. If I had only found out what was wrong last night, I could have prevented her from worrying and facing that jerk of a step father she had!

"Of course you can, but I need you to tell me everything about your step father, just encase."

She sighed and her eyes dropped to the floor. "Alright okay, if you want to know 'everything' I'll tell you everything. But only if you tell me everything about you too," she glanced up at me through the light cover of her of her fridge. "I can tell you have more to your life too Jacob, than what your letting on."

I nodded once and mouthed an almost silence, "Alright." I really didn't think I was up for this conversation, but if it made her feel any better I would do it, plus I had to sooner or later, and I thought sooner would be better.

I wrapped my arm around her as she leaned into the side of the couch and took in a deep breath before starting. "I was born in Los Angeles, and as you know my mum gave me up at birth, I was adopted into a drunken family who were never home when I was four. They were always abusive because they were always drunk as you could ever get. It's amazing they didn't die really with how drunk they got at times. Then, finally the neighbours' dobbed them into the cops, and they were put in jail. After that I was put into a foster family, here, when I was seven. I had a heap of other siblings with my adoptive parents, but there were either too old to care or too young to talk to. I wasn't that worried when we were all split up to be honest.

"Then when I went into the care of my new family, things seemed better. My new mum, Tally was married to this guy, Rick, and he loved me like his own daughter. We played games for endless hours, walked on the beach, went shopping . . . everything I hadn't ever done before, but then, when I was twelve, he was diagnosed with cancer, and died a week later. My life seemed to have fallen apart after that. I was always bullied at school because I was always the odd one out. Everyone had families who loved and cared for them, but I was known at the 'throw around child' with being thrown around from family to family. Rick had always tried to help stop the bullying and even was trying to get me into another school before he died, but that didn't happen.

Tally never cared about me. She always told me I was a waist of space. She always says my mother gave me up because I wasn't wanted in this world. Rick was the only one who ever cared for me, like a parent should."

I watched as the tears started to freely fall down Skyla's cheeks. I could really see she had a tough time when she was little and it wasn't much better now. My hold around her shoulder's tightened as I brought her into my side. "That's not true. You're not a waist of space, and you are wanted in this world, or you wouldn't have been born Skyla. Don't ever think that is true. I'm sure your mum had a good reason. Maybe she was just too young when you were born and she didn't have any help or money to look after the two of you."

She nodded against my shoulder. "That's what everyone told me before I was adopted, but it's hard to believe that when I've been told differ for so long and so many times."

"I understand. You don't have to tell me anything more if you don't want to. I can see how much it upsets you." I looked down to her as she wiped the tears away from the corners of her eyes and then shook her head.

"No, I want to. I want you to know everything that happened, if you want to hear it, that is."

"Of course I do. Just take your time, if you need to. I'm here," I whispered softly. It was the truth. I did want to know, so then maybe I could help her in some little or huge way. I knew I had my own problems to deal with, but for some reason, I felt like maybe we could help each other out.

It went silent in the room for a while. The only thing I could hear was the rain falling outside again. The sun had gone completely, and was replaced by heavy storm clouds once again. New York was looking more and more like Forks and La Push every day now. I wondered if it was like this all the time, or if it was just the time of the year or something.

Skyla took in a deep breath after a moment and then ran the back of her hand over her eyes again. "It was only two months after Rick died, Tally found Dave, and that's when the abuse started all over again. I wouldn't have been surprised if she didn't even cared about Rick with how fast she got over him. I think he was the only reason I went into their care."

"When you say abuse, what do you mean?" My eyes narrowed with question. I didn't even want to think what she may have gone through.

"Just like this, but worse sometimes." Her hand ran over the side of her head, where the half healed wound was. "I guess I was fortunate in that way."

_And thank god_, I thought and let out a deep silent breath. "So, tell me what happened then."

A brief smile came upon her face then as she looked out the window to the rain. "Then, I met Tracey," she said happily and stood to her feet. She walked over to the window and slid it open, letting the sweet scent of the rain flow inside as she stood in the doorway. I waited for her to continue without saying a word. I could see by the look on her face she was gathering both good and bad memories. I wanted her to take her time with explaining everything. I could sense she needed it, and I knew it may have been also some kind of release of stress and fear she might have been hiding over these years. I didn't think she would be the type to speak her life story to just anyone and every day.

"He was much like you – bold, cocky, carefree, strong, a total bad boy, and a werewolf. He loved days like this," she said and kept her eyes on the horizon of more and more buildings of the city. The light wind blew around her hair as she kept on staring. "Dave was too scared to touch me while ever Tracey was around. He could tell there was something really different about him, and watched his every move. Trace was really protective over me and helped me the first few days I when I had turned. If it wasn't for him, I would have thought I was dying or something. He made everything better in my life. I thought we were meant to be together."

I stood up and walked over to her side. "What happened to him?

"He died a couple of weeks ago. He partied hard every night, thinking he was invincible because he was a werewolf, and over dosed on drugs," she sobbed, leaning back against me.

That hit me hard. I really hard . . . I really didn't think that was possible. "But, werewolves can only be killed by vampire venom, I thought," I said huskily as I wrapped my arms around her, trying to comfort her, the best I could.

"That's not true Jacob. Don't ever think that!" she mumbled into my shirt while crying, hitting the side of my shoulder with human strength as she spoke. "I need some sleep," she murmured, leaning away from me and wiped her eyes again. "I was up all night last night thanks to Dave." She stepped away from me and sat back down on the couch.

"You can take my room if you want," I offered, taking a step closer to her.

She shook her head and closed her eyes as she lay out on the couch. "No, the couch is fine, thank you Jacob," she murmured and turned her body into the backing of the lounge. I could tell by the way she had spoken she was still half crying.

I bit my lip and looked into the kitchen. I could sense just how upset she was, and I couldn't blame her, I would have been the same way. But her words had really hit me like a ton of bricks though. I wouldn't have ever thought that something as small as drugs would kill a werewolf like me. _He must have really overdosed_; I thought and went into the kitchen to start cooking breakfast again.

With washing my hands in the sink, I went to the fridge and got out some eggs and bacon to get cooking on the stove. I knew it was definitely a sign to watch myself more with the things I did and tried now. I couldn't help but actually feel more human with knowing I wasn't as invincible as I thought I was with being a werewolf. I wasn't as strong as I thought, I was more venerable than I thought too.

Quietly I cracked four eggs into a pan, and slowly cooked both the bacon and eggs. I was beyond starving now, and it was hard to try and stop my inner animal from eating the cooking food raw. I knew it could take the food raw, but I didn't know about my human stomach though. I was pretty sure it could take it, but it wasn't a habit I was willing to get into.

By the time the eggs and bacon was fully cooked, my whole apartment smelt delicious and my stomach was basically yelling "eat" at me. Just as I was about to put a full plate of food aside for Skyla, I looked up and saw her walking over to my side smiling. "That looks and smells good," she said softly.

"Want some?"

"Please," she said softly, looking up at me sweetly. I handed a plate to her and dished up the other half of the packet of bacon I had cooked as well as two eggs. I looked up to Skyla's face of complete shock from the amount of food on her plate alone.

"Are you kidding me?" she looked up to me, wide eyed and I almost burst out laughing if it wasn't for the small piece of bacon in my mouth already.

"What? Haven't you heard? Growing werewolves need all the food they can get . . . and well, I was really hungry too," I laughed while walking into the other room and sat down on the floor in front of the glass coffee table, and started eating as Skyla joined me.

I looked over to her, still staring at her meal. "What's wrong, you're looking dumbfounded."

She met my gaze and rolled her eyes. "I don't eat this much in one day Jacob, let alone all at once."

"Yeah I can tell," I said playfully, poking the side of her almost skinny arm. "Now get eating. Seriously though, growing werewolves need to eat a lot."

"Why's that?" she questioned and took a piece of egg and bacon into her mouth.

"Helps with muscle development in your wolf form," I explained and put another big serving of egg and bacon into my mouth. I knew I should have broken the news to her for the reason behind why we needed a lot of muscle in our wolf form, but I thought she was going through enough within the moment than to top it all off with the news of there being such thing as leeches.

"Oh," she murmured and looked back down to her plate and took in another mouthful. I could tell she was thinking. "So, tell me."

"Tell you what?" I asked, looking to her and sat back against the chair, pushing my empty plate away from me.

"You told me you would tell me your story, after I told you mine, so. . ." she trailed off.

"Um, okay, sure."

I took in a deep breath before starting off with my mother dying. I told her everything. From my family life back home, about La Push, about my friends, the pack, about Bella and Edward – though I left out the leech part – and how I had come to be in New York and even the things I had done in New York. I didn't have anything to hide from her. I trusted her fully and was completely at ease like I was back with Embry or one of the others. It had been harder to talk about it than I thought it would though, but I actually felt better afterwards. It was like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

More things about Skyla even came out too. I leant she was fifteen, which really shocked me because I thought with the way she acted and dressed she would be more around eighteen or even nineteen. But I guess it all came with being a werewolf. No one thought I was just sixteen, even Skyla didn't. I also learnt that her feelings towards Tracey were much like how I felt for Bella. I really couldn't help but think that maybe he was her imprint or something, but I didn't ask if she knew such thing existed. She was going through enough at it was. I really hoped he hadn't been her imprint. The poor girl had gone through enough in her life, let alone to live a life of heartbreak like that for the rest of her life too. She was strong. I had to give her that. She was even stronger than Leah. She was pleased to hear that she wasn't the only werewolf in the world either. I knew Leah would be happy to hear she also wasn't, but I couldn't and wouldn't ring home to tell her. I thought if I did, somehow they might find out where I was and try and drag me back home, which was the last thing I wanted.

With the rain still coming down, having nothing to do in my place apart from think and mop some more about Bella, and Skyla still being too tired to do much other than sleep, I decided to go out leech hunting. I was pretty sure I was going to be okay with phasing, as I could feel my inner wolf again and it no longer felt sleepy like it had last night because of the Wolfsbane. It was a perfect night for leeches too. It was really dark with the storms and rain hanging around.

"I'm going out for a while, I'll be back in a few hours," I told Skyla as she sat down on the couch, looking tired and about to fall asleep again.

She looked up to me with a sweet smile and nodded. "Sure, I'll see you then."

I left my jacket behind purposely as I left my place and went down the hall of the building and then outside into the rain. It pouring down heavily outside, and the streets looked like they were empty as I took off running through the wet night. I often did things like this back at home too. I was known for running off alone in the middle of the night looking for nomad leeches. It didn't worry me either. I was third to Paul at being the best fighter in the pack, with Sam being the first of course, but I was sure my skills had gone up since that title was given though. I was stronger now, I could sense it. I just needed to sharpen my skills a little more now, and that was what I was doing – training by leech. There wasn't really any better of a way than to train with, what you're training for.

I ran fast as I could in human form for what felt like hours, but found nothing sadly. I was soaked to the bone with the rain still falling heavily, but my mind wasn't on the job. It was in the one place it always was when I didn't have adrenaline pumping through my veins like wild fire. I growled to myself and slowed my run to a slow walk while staring down at the sidewalk as I headed back towards my apartment.

The wind abruptly changed course as I was walking past a worn down warehouse. On the wind, I smelt the scent of sickly-sweet and the hint of blood. My inner wolf snarled at the scent. I took off after it through the warehouse. I was silence as I moved. The place was so worn down, the roof had caved in long ago and water was now seeping inside as I carefully looked around, trying to see the thing. I knew it was around there somewhere! I could smell it and sense it. It was just so dark in the warehouse it was putting me on edge with just standing still for a moment. I just wanted to take chase after the thing! I heard a sudden scream up ahead and ran towards it. The faint scent of blood had now grown so strong I could hardly stand it.

As I ran into a huge empty room, lightning flashed brightly and lit the whole place up, and there I saw the leech leaning over top of a girl. I couldn't hear any heart beat other than my own, but it still didn't mean she wasn't alive. Her heart beat could have easily still been just hanging in there.

The room went black again as the lightning faded. I heard the leech hiss at me before talking off running. I ran over to the girl and took her wrist to try and find her pulse, but it was already gone. I couldn't see anything of her, other than the white look her skin now had and the pool of blood around her neck where two puncture wounds were. My eyes narrowed with seeing them. _That's not the usual vampire bite mark_, I thought, greatly confused. _It always looks like a human bite mark._

The lightning flashed again as I took off after the leech with there being nothing I could do for the girl. It didn't take much to find it. It ran through a glass window to get away from me. I reached the shattered window and looked down upon the ground as it kept on running at full pace.

I did a back flip out the window and landed with my hand touching the sidewalk – I was trying to get used to jumping from high buildings and keeping my balance at the same time. It was my only weakness when it came from jumping from high buildings. The others couldn't do it without landing wrong and almost severely hurting themselves. While running after the thing, I tried my best to keep to the shadows after seeing the police patrolling the streets for any trouble there may have been.

The leech turned a corner just as the rain was fading into a light mist, but when I got around the curb too, it was nowhere to be seen. I couldn't see, smell or sense it anywhere. It was just, gone, and I felt uneasy about it. My inner wolf was fully on guard, listening to each sound around me, leaving no shadow undetected and no scent unchecked. All I could see was a stupid crow sitting in a tree across the street from me.

I kept looking around the area for what felt like hours, but I didn't find even a sign it had been around. It was like I hadn't been tracking anything at all for the past couple of hours. I shook my head and walked down a street, highly frustrated. The moon was out now lighting up everything around me. I now stood in an alleyway of a quiet street, looking up to the full, silver moon shining down upon me. Something about tonight seemed to be so eerie, but I couldn't explain what it was for the life of me. I hadn't ever felt this kind of an intense eeriness before. It was spooky really and it was putting me heavily on guard again.

The breeze swept around me softly as I walked over to a park bench on another street while thoughts of Bella consumed me again. From the very instant I had saw that leech, I had forgotten all about her. I missed her so much, but I couldn't go back home now, nor would I never. I knew it would only kill me now to see her with him. Without thinking, I let out a loud howl which ripped through the city louder than I had intended it to. It had been as loud as the thunder.

A light fog abruptly started to sweep around the streets, but I paid no attention to it. I looked down to the footpath as I heard footsteps coming down the street and towards me. All I needed now was my cover blown thanks to not thinking what I was doing before I howled! I growled to myself, looking in the other direction, while trying to look casual. But something made me looked up to the woman who was walking down the street in a trench coat with the front of it open and black high heels covering her feet. Her hair was long and dark brown, with slight waves going through it. From what I could see in the street light, her eyes were different. They looked black, but I couldn't be sure.

She held my gaze for a moment while walking and then looked to the curb in front of her as she walked towards it with the grace of a supermodel. I looked away the second she did, but as she looked back to me from the corner of the street, I couldn't help but feel compelled to follow her when she caught my gaze again. She took a couple of steps and looked to me once more, like she wanted me to follow her, either that, or she was making sure I wasn't stalking her. Though, I sensed no fear in her. She was perfectly calm, which I didn't expect any woman would be with walking the streets this late at night in New York City of all places.

I stood up and cautiously started to follow her slowly. My inner wolf growled at me a warning, but I pushed it back and ignored it. What harm could she do? She was human, I was a werewolf. I could protect myself from any human. That I was more than sure of!

As I turned the corner, she stopped and looked back to me with a slight smile on her face, and with it, the compulsion to follow her grew. I stood where she held my gaze, wary but somehow relaxed at the same time. My eyes narrowed slightly, trying to pick up something about her, but I found nothing I hadn't already found when I first saw her. I kept on slowly and cautiously following her down the dark alley, as she walked like she was actually on a catwalk, but slower. She walked with so much grace it made me think it was incredible for any human to have such a free and easy movement about them, especially in high heels. It was like it was easier to her than breathing even.

She stopped again, looked to me with another smile lightening her face and then turned around and kept on walking farther down the alley. I shook my head, almost motionlessly while my eyes stayed fixed upon her. How wasn't she scared that I was following her? I still didn't sense anything from her other than calmness.

I went to take another step towards her and again my inner wolf growled with warning, but this time it was the most intense warning I had ever received from it, but still, I ignored it and kept on following her. It had to have things mixed up. _She's human!_ I thought to it, so maybe it would shut up.

She stopped in front of what I could only make out to be a heavy steel door and walked inside without closing it behind her. I stood in the alley, trying to work out what was going on, but I couldn't. The fog grew around the streets, making things even more so eerie now than before. I looked up to the moon again, and the compulsion grew even more than I had felt it when I first saw her. Stupidly, I stepped inside the building she had walked into and closed the door behind me. It was dark inside and I couldn't see a thing. I felt like I was blind, but I knew it was only a trick of the light planning with my mind. I was just about to leave when I heard my name being said by a familiar female voice.

"Jacob?" I didn't know where I had heard the voice before, but I knew I had heard it somewhere. Suddenly my mind became foggy, I couldn't think clearly enough to try and work out where I knew the voice from. It felt impossible. My mind felt physically weak.

"Who are you?" I asked, leaning up against the back of the door, not sure where she was standing now. I still couldn't see a thing. There was no light around me, and I was starting to feel the effects of Claustrophobia taking hold of me. I felt like I couldn't breathe, like I was in such a small place, there was no air left to breath in, until I felt the touch of her fingers on my cheek.

"Calm down," she whispered softly into my ear.

For some reason, my body reacted to her words and did as I she had said. I was calm and I no longer felt so breathless, though my heart was still racing in my chest. "W-who are you?" I stuttered, trying to see who she was. I knew she was only inches away from me, but still, it was impossible to see any detail or colour other than midnight darkness.

"My name is Kasey," she whispered softly again. Her name seemed so familiar. I tried to think where I had heard it before, but my mind became even foggier than it had been. It had to be this place playing with my mind. I knew it wouldn't be the Wolfsbane still working on me.

I shuddered again with feeling her pull on the helm of my shirt and her hands run down my chest and stomach. "What are you doing?"

"Only what you want me to do," she whispered again my lips huskily. My inner wolf snarled even louder than the last time, but I didn't understand its warning. What harm could she do to me? She was human, just like . . . Bella . . . I grimaced with thinking her name again, but for some reason, her name was a faint sound, and memory at the back of my mind. It was like she didn't mean so much to me anymore.

"How do you know what I want?" I said, slightly breathlessly with feeling her fingers running over my abs slowly.

"I can sense it," she whispered into my ear. Her lips touched mine passionately, but softly. I ignored it for a moment and then kissed her back with an urgent force I didn't understand. I felt compelled to kiss her back, like I was no longer in control of what was happening. I didn't know why or what it was. It confused me so much. I didn't understand a thing upon which was happening. I was scared, but something was stopping me from turning my back and leaving, and I didn't know what.

Her hands stayed on the skin of my stomach as she kissed me harshly before breaking the kiss and moving to my neck. I half gasped, half moaned upon the contact of her lips. She had caught me off guard by doing that. It started out as just a kiss, but then I felt her teeth sink into the skin of my neck.

I gasped awake on my couch and to the lights of my apartment. The lights burned my eyes like I had just looked straight into the sun. Slowly I got up from the chair and went over to the door frame and flipped the switch to turn the light off – that helped a lot. I could stand to open my eyes after that, and when I did, the only light which lit up my apartment, was the lights of the city. I looked up to the clock in the kitchen. It was only seven o'clock at night.

I looked to Skyla as she walked into the room and turned on the light. "Ow!" I covered my eyes quickly as my neck throbbed with pain abruptly. My first thought was to touch the side of my neck and find out what had caused the pain, but if I did that, the light was going to sting my eyes again.

"Sorry," Skyla said and turned off the light quickly. "What happened to you last night? Why can't you stand the lights?" she asked and came over to my side to sit on the couch.

That was a good question. I couldn't think what had happened. It was like a blank space in my mind. I couldn't remember getting home . . . or falling asleep on the couch, nor could I remember what had happened between Kasey and I. I grimaced at the thought, hoping I hadn't done anything stupid with her, but then I wondered if I had actually only dreamt about her.

With my hands on my forehead, I turned my head to the side and looked to Skyla. "I don't know what happened, or why I can't stand the light. Even the lights of the city hurt my eyes. Could it be the Wolfsbane?" I asked her.

"No, it shouldn't be. Can you feel your inner wolf?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "I could all day yesterday." I ran my hands over my eyes, trying to get them to work, but it was useless.

"It wouldn't be that then."

"What time did I come home?" I questioned next while trying to remember something from last night after I had met Kasey, but all I got was flashes of images which didn't make any sense. I could see the images so clearly and yet I hadn't been able to see anything at the time when I was with her. What was wrong with me?

"Just before dawn," Skyla answered. "You wouldn't say anything."

My eye brows pulled together with hearing her. That didn't make any sense either. "I don't remember anything."

"What do you remember?" she asked softly.

"Just, going out, and then meeting this woman, Kasey, she kissed me and then. . ." I trailed off with remembering one small detail. _She bit me_, I thought as my hand ran down to the side of my neck where I felt some kind of mark. My other hand dropped into my lap from sheltering the light out of my eyes.

"And then? What happened?" Skyla asked and broke me of the dazed trance I had gone into with the moment coming to me.

I shook my head, not being worried anymore about what happened last night, but more about the bite on my neck. It should have been healed by now! "Nothing, don't worry. I have to check something," I said and went into the bathroom and locked the door. Slowly I went over to the mirror. The lights were really dull in the bathroom, so they weren't worrying my eyes too much. As I stood over the sink and looked into the mirror, I saw the same two puncture wounds on my neck as I had seen on that girl I had found in the warehouse last night. My hand ran over the two small marks, they stung like fire when I touched them. I stood back away from the mirror and leaned up against the wall. What had I gotten myself into? My hand ran over the light switch to turn off the lights as I stared up at the ceiling. My breath was rapid as was my heart beat with fear. I didn't know what had happened, or what was going on, but it had more fear pumping through my veins than I had ever felt in my life.

My hand ran over the side of my neck again. I grimaced with touching it. I wished I could have remembered what had happened! I hit the floor with my hand now turned into a fist. I was so frustrated and annoyed with myself! All I wanted to know was if what I remembered about Kasey was a dream or not, and if it was real, what had happened? Why was that so much to ask for?

I looked to the door as Skyla knocked on it gently. "Are you okay Jacob?" she asked softly.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I murmured. I knew if I spoke any louder, she would have picked up my voice was cracked, and the last thing I wanted was to seem weak to her. "Do you have any sun glasses I can borrow? I can't stand any light what so ever."

"Sure."

It was about time something went right! I stood up slowly to my feet and went over to the door as I heard Skyla coming back. I just hoped she had found some glasses I could use and that fitted. I didn't think I would be able to stand any light without something to help me. It was at times like this I wished I had Sam to talk to.

"Here Jacob," she said, handing me a pair of sunglasses with a thick and wide black frame around them. They looked just like what I needed, and thankfully they weren't girly either.

"Thanks. I'll be out in a bit. I just want to have a shower."

"Alright. Come out when you can."

I listened as her footsteps disappeared into the lounge room again, then undressed and had a shower. I couldn't stop running my hand over the side of my neck, but when I looked down to my chest, I notice that wasn't the only bite mark I had. I had another just under my peck. I growled annoyed and slapped the side of my chest where the bite was. It was obvious I hadn't just dreamt it now! Her biting my chest was one of the images which had come to me after I woke up. I thought that maybe, the mark on my neck could have happened when I ran past a tree, but I was seriously kidding myself by even trying to convince myself that. How could I have been so stupid to fall for her trick! I thought I had more control over myself than that! I just wished I knew why my inner wolf kept warning me like it had been. I knew she was human, because she didn't have golden eyes, or red and she didn't have the scent of a leech either. Also if she was a leech, I wouldn't be still breathing or alive. Vampire venom was lethal to us, but it still didn't explain why her bite left two puncture wounds on my neck and chest, or why my eyes didn't like the light anymore, or why I couldn't remember anything towards what had happened with her.

I took the glasses Skyla had given me from the counter top and put them on as I wrapped a towel around myself and went into my room to get dressed. I covered up the bite on my neck by pulling on my leather jacket and allowed the collar to stay sitting up. I looked in the mirror to make sure it was covered and sure enough it was. The lights of the city at night were no longer bothering my eyes. I was so thankful for the glasses working for me, though I looked ridiculous with sunglasses on at night – that's what I thought anyway.

I left my room and went out to Skyla watching TV in the lounge room while sitting on the couch. She looked up to me as I came into the room. "Are you okay?" she asked, sounding concerned.

I smiled a fake smile. I wanted to act like last night had never happened, just so I could get it off my mind. New York was a bad place for me. "Let's go out. Go to the club or something."

"Okay, you're sure your up to it but?" she asked and stood.

"Of course, I'm fine. It's just my eyes."

I really didn't want to go out, but I wanted to try and find Kasey and maybe find out what had happened last night. And I had the feeling, if I went out tonight; I was going to find her somehow. I needed answers, and she was the only one who had them, and I wasn't going to give up until I had them either! I didn't care what I had to do to get them.


	5. The Dark Side of the Curse I'm In

**The Dark Side of the Curse I'm In**

_This Chapter was Inspired by Disturbia by Rihanna_

Walking down to the club had never seemed to have taken so long as it had tonight. The night was clear, but it felt like there was a huge weight upon my shoulders and chest, and for once, I knew it wasn't a weight Bella had placed on me. I felt like I was being closed in, like there was a little amount of room around me, even know we were out in the open, outside. I recognized the feeling from last night. Claustrophobia. The darkness of night and the dark tint in my glasses was triggering it. But I didn't know why. I never used to have claustrophobia. So why would I have it now? I shook my head and took in deep breaths to try and get rid of the feeling, but it didn't seem to work.

Skyla looked back to me with a concerned look upon her face. Her eyes were narrow. I could see worry in her eyes. "Jacob, are you sure you're okay?" she asked and slowed down to my pace to walk beside me.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I answered, lying. I knew I wasn't but I could deal with it. Nothing was going to stop me from finding Kasey tonight. Claustrophobia or not, I could fight it . . . I hoped.

Soon, the club came into my view. With just my luck, tonight it was lit up really brightly outside. This place was never lit up brightly – well in the few times I had come here it hadn't been. I wondered what the occasion was.

I looked around it closely, trying to find that familiar face, but she wasn't outside. I growled to myself, slightly annoyed. Skyla's hand brushed up against the side of my wrist, making me look at her. She was smirking crookedly. "What?" I murmured, smirking back playfully.

"So, tell me. What do you think happened last night?" she asked. I rubbed the back of my neck shyly. I was never good with talking such a subject to anyone, but I wasn't going to lie to her either.

I had gone quiet for a few minutes and she noticed, in more than just one way. "Jacob, you're blushing," she giggled.

"Am not," I said defensively. Perfect! I hated it when my own body betrayed me!

She giggled again. She knew the truth. I could tell. "Ooh, Jacob got laid. Jacob got laid," she chanted like a kid who had just found out their best friend had kissed someone. I could feel my face turning redder. Now I knew how Bella felt when she blushed in front of me when she was trying to be tough. It was humiliating!

I shook my head at her with my eye brows pulled together. I couldn't believe how different city girls were to the country girls back home. "What are you, five? Or high?" I asked with humour in my tone. She just burst out laughing.

"Come on Jacob. There's nothing wrong with it. Friends with benefits are fun. Can't believe what a country boy you are for being a werewolf!"

I scoffed to myself with hearing that and looked to her from the corner of my eye. "You sound like you're talking from experience?"

She bit her lip and nodded. "Maybe I am."

I could tell that was a definite yes. "Come on Skyla, your fifteen. That's ridiculous."

She rolled her eyes at me. "Don't judge Jacob," she huffed. "You're sixteen, so how is that any different?"

"That's a year difference and I didn't mean to. I don't even know what happened. I just get these images."

"You know what I think happened?" she asked, stopping in front of me. She didn't wait for me to answer. I wasn't sure if I wanted to hear it either. I already had claustrophobia; I didn't need a panic attack on top of it too. "I think she might have gotten you high. That's why you can't remember anything. That might explain your eyes too. Drugs affect us differently to humans."

She had a point. I had to admit it. "Maybe," I murmured as we reached the club and walked inside. If that were true, there wouldn't be any marks on me like wounds from a needle with being a fast healer. But then, why wasn't my bite marks healed already? None of it was making any sense.

Blue lights lined the walls of the club and the music seemed louder than I had ever noticed it before too. It was almost too loud for me to stand. I looked upon each of the faces I passed, trying to find her, but it seemed hopeless. With each face that wasn't her, made me feel like I wasn't ever going to find Kasey. _That's so not me_, I thought. Since when did I feel like giving up so easily?

I followed Skyla over to the bar where she sat down on one of the black stools. I sat beside her, but didn't take any notice to what was going on around me – more like in front of me. I knew she was going to be here tonight. How I knew, I would never know or understand, but she _was_ going to be here.

I didn't even notice Skyla still beside me until she touched my hand. I looked at her half dazed from being so focused on trying to find Kasey. "Do you want anything Jacob?" she asked with three shots being placed in front of her.

"No thanks." I shook my head and waited until the bartender had walked away. I touched her shoulder and looked her in the eye as she turned towards me, about to pick up one of the little glasses. "You shouldn't be drinking," I murmured. It was bad enough I had the few times I did.

She rolled her eyes at me and grabbed one of the shots, drinking it in one go. "Werewolf," she murmured. That didn't mean a thing to me, not since she had told me we were invisible like Sam had led me to believe.

"I can either do it in front of you Jacob, or behind your back. Whichever you refer," she said and took a second shot. I shook my head and removed my hand from her shoulder. I did refer if she drank in front of me. Then at least I could maybe stop her from drinking so much.

I eyed the third shot glass and grabbed it before she could, and drank it as she watched me in shock of how fast I had been. It burned the back of my throat as I swallowed. I wouldn't have taken it only I thought maybe three was all she could afford tonight.

I smirked crookedly at her with seeing her jaw half dropped to the floor with shock. "Alpha," I murmured, hearing her laugh. I smirked again and looked towards the other side of the room. There, I saw what I thought was a shadow figure of Kasey standing in the darker part of the club. No human would have been able to see her there, let alone make out her features.

I placed the shot glass back on the table beside me without taking my eyes off her. As I stood, I looked Skyla in the eyes and spoke with my Alpha voice. "Don't have any more, please," I said and heard a huff come out of her.

"Fine," she muttered.

I really didn't know if my Alpha tone would work because I hadn't really ever used it that much before and I wasn't sure what tone it was. I didn't really know if it had to be threatening or confident, and right there and then, I wasn't too much of either. I didn't feel confident or threatening, but that could have easily been from the shot working on me and making me numb – or Bella. It was more than likely from Bella though. Since I had left home, I didn't feel myself anymore . . . and I knew for fact, I wasn't myself. I would have never done these things once upon a time back home. I wouldn't have even thought about doing it. But things were different now.

My eyes didn't move from the figure I thought was Kasey standing in the dark corner as I pushed, and moved past the people in the club. The bass of the music seemed to get louder suddenly as the lights flashed quickly around the place and in different patterns. I would hate to have a hangover and be in this place at the same time. I would have been a killer on the head.

With each step I took, I could make out the features I had seen of her last night in the dark street. Her hair was the same, but her eyes looked almost chocolate in the light of the club, instead of being black. She was dressed in a short mini skirt and haler top which showed half of her stomach. My eyes narrowed slightly as she took a step back into the darkness away from me. She smiled crookedly at me and held my gaze, and instantly, I felt the same compulsion as I had last night. I could feel she wanted me to follow her, to come over to her.

Her body turned to the right and that was when I realised she had been standing next to the narrow hall, leading out the back rooms and to an exit just before them. She took a couple of steps and then stopped – just like last night – to make sure I was still following her. She smirked and kept on walking after that until we were both in almost complete blackness, somewhere which had to be far from the main room of the club. I could hardly hear the music now, or the crowd cheering to the music or them talking to one and other.

"What happened last night?" I asked as I watched her standing in the other corner of the room, ten feet away from me.

She smiled and walked up to me with the same grace in her step as a supermodel. Just by the way she walked you could so easily tell she was confident and strong. Her hand brushed against my face, making me shudder. "Calm down Jacob," she murmured in my ear, and once again making me instantly respond to her by calming down – just like last night. What was this hold she had over me? Even Bella couldn't get me to calm down just by words or touch!

"What happened last night?" I questioned again, but in a more demanding tone. I wasn't going to fall for her tricks again. I couldn't. I wouldn't. And yet I had to keep yelling it out in my head to believe it. Why was that! What was it that made me fall for her?

She stood away from me and looked me in the eye ever so innocently. "You mean, you don't remember?" Her tone was so soft and gentle, but there was something about it which didn't match the look in her eye. I got the feeling she already knew I couldn't remember. I felt my inner animal snarl abruptly. Why did it keep doing that?

I shook my head, not able to find my voice to speak with. She smiled after that and took another step closer to me. Her hand touched my cheek, making an image flash before my eyes that I hadn't seen before. I was sure it was a memory. But why could I see it so clearly like we had been in the light of day when we really were in the light of midnight? It was just so confusing and frustrating! I didn't know what to believe, what to think or do. I just wanted to know the truth.

"All I remember is you biting me," I murmured, shyly. She smiled lightly, while staring at my collarbone and throat. My eyes narrowed with seeing something flicker through her eyes, but I wasn't able to see or sense what it was. I thought there had been a red tint come into her eyes, but I wasn't sure.

She looked up at me and held my gaze through my sun glasses. Her hand slowly snaked up the side of my face to the frame of them. She took them off with one swift swipe. With the glasses now gone, so was some of my claustrophobia. I shook my head, letting my eyes adjust to the new, brighter light. They no longer were hurting from the lights. I thought it may have been because the light was so dim around us, but I hoped that wasn't the case. I wanted to be in the lights again, without glasses on.

She looked up at me. "You know Jacob, I could always show you, again, what we did," she smirked like a cat, but still with an innocent look on her face and in her eyes. I shook my head while smiling crookedly. I didn't know why I just didn't say "no" right there and then. But when I didn't answer, I felt that compulsion working on me again. But it was stronger this time.

Her hand brushed against the skin of my neck until her arm was wrapped around me. She kept staring into my eyes, like she was searching for something, but I didn't know what. Without even realizing it at first, somehow my hands had gone to either side of her waist. She leaned up to brush her lips against mine, and instantly I reacted by kissing her back. My inner wolf was snarling again in the back of my mind. I could feel it basically screaming out to me, telling me to stop, but I ignored it fully. I didn't see what was so wrong about my actions what I was doing. It wasn't like I could still save myself for Bella, nor was there any point. She had Edward and I knew that would never change. And soon enough, they would be married. I most as well at least _try_ and get on with my life, even if I was focusing myself to forget her in the most drastic way I could think of. But it had to happen sooner or later. I knew I couldn't just keep throwing myself a pity party for the rest of my life. And maybe Skyla had been right. Friends with benefits couldn't be that bad. Paul had had a fair few over the years until he found Rachel. Plus, I liked Kasey and I could sense she liked me too.

The other thing I had noticed, since I had met Kasey the other night, I hadn't had much thought about Bella at all. Maybe this was a new, safer, thing to do to keep her off my mind. It had to be better than partying, drinking, getting high or getting into trouble with the police. What was the harm? It was only a little fun. . .

**Bella's Point of View**

Looking out the window of the kitchen, all I saw was the rain falling outside and heard the sound of thunder crash over the mountains as I cooked dinner for Charlie. I had been enjoying the past couple days of rain, which was very odd for me. Usually I liked warm and sunny days, but the rain was actually growing on me. It was relaxing and sweet – another thing I hadn't much liked before. What could I say? Forks and getting married had changed me greatly.

It was almost dark, so I knew it wouldn't be long until Charlie was home. I was in an unusually good mood and humming random songs to myself. I guess it was all the thinking I had done about the wedding coming up in a couple of weeks, throughout the day. I hadn't been so excited about it in the beginning, but the idea had actually grown on me.

Slowly I chopped the carrots and put them in the pot to cook with the rest of the vegetables, just when I heard the front door open. I peered around the corner and saw Charlie walking inside, shaking his head slowly and taking off his jacket. I could tell something was worrying him, which wasn't like him. He never usually brought home his troubles from work.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked from the kitchen.

He looked up with hearing my voice. "Hey. Uh, it's Jacob," he said in a deep tone, making my eyes narrow.

"What's wrong?"

"He disappeared yesterday and Billy has no idea where he's gone or what's happened. He left his phone home, so he has no way of contact with him."

"Wait, disappeared? You mean. . ." I looked Charlie in the eye. I could feel my own were wide with fear, shock and worry. Could someone or _something_ hurt him and kidnapped him? _No,_ I thought, shaking my head, trying to get the idea to die off. _Jacob's strong enough to fight someone or something like that_. But if he was still injured from the other day . . . I didn't want to think it. I felt sick to my stomach with worry now. I sat back in one of the chairs around the kitchen table before I could fall over. I felt dizzy and cold – two things I hadn't felt in a long while.

"Do you think he ran off, or someone kidnapped him?" I asked without looking up. My eyes were fixed on the floor of the kitchen with my hands in my lap. I didn't know if I wanted to know the answer to my question or not.

"I don't know, but Billy said he was upset about something when he last saw him, leaving the house."

I felt my stomach cringe with hearing Charlie's answer. It was my fault. I hadn't gone to see Jacob since that night after the fight with the newborns. He had been injured badly with saving Leah's life from a vampire who had attacked her. He and his pack wouldn't have been fighting if it weren't for me. He wouldn't have been hurt if it weren't for me!

My eyes closed with trying to fight back the tears. I should have gone and seen him again. I should have been trying to look after him like he would have been doing for me if the shoe had been on the other foot. For all the things he had done for me over the past year, I should have done more for him. He was my best friend!

I bit my lip and stared at the floor again. I could feel the tears in my eyes, just on the edge of over flowing onto my cheeks. I wiped them away with the backs of my hands. I wished there was some way of getting into contact with him to know the truth and if he was okay. I needed to know he was okay. I didn't know what I was going to do without him, or if something had happened to him. I needed Jacob like I needed the air to breathe with.

I stood up and took the pots off the stove before they over cooked. All through dinner, I didn't feel like eating a thing. I was too busy trying to work out how I would be able to get into contact with Jacob. I could see Charlie was also worried about him. He cared far more for Jacob than he did for Edward – probably because he had known Jake since he was born, but still...

By bed, I finally worked out one of the pack would have to know of Jacob's where bouts. Sam at least would have to know what had happened and where he would have gone. I needed to know, whether Jacob wanted me to know where he was or not.

Charlie had gone to bed early with wanting to get up early to try and work out where Jacob was and to get up some more missing persons posters. I stared out my window into the rainy, wet night, hoping for some sign Jacob was out there like he had been once before on a similar night to tonight. He had come to apologize to me for the way he had acted after he had first turned into a werewolf. I wished so much he would show up tonight too like that night, almost a year ago now.

As I kept on staring for what felt like hours, all I could hear was the rain falling and the frogs and crickets enjoying the wet night. There was no other sound or movement. I sighed and closed my window and stumbled into bed. I felt so tired and yet so restless. I wanted to go out and find Sam to know what he knew, but I knew he would either be already asleep or on patrol. I would have to wait until tomorrow. But even in sleep, I was still restless.

It was my wedding day. Everything had been perfect and nothing could have been more perfect. I was dressed in a white dress with glitter all down the front of it. Jacob was there, smiling his usual kind, sweet smile –_ my_ smile. He watched as I got married without a word of complaint or sadness in his eyes, body or words. He was happy for me, like nothing other than friendship ever existed between us.

He danced with me after the wedding, making me smile and giggle like he always did. Even in my dreams I was a clumsy, and each time I tripped, Jacob picked me up before I could fall. He _never_ let me fall, when others did.

It was only when Edward and I were leaving for our honeymoon did I see sadness in Jacob's eyes. They were glassy, as if he had been crying or was about to. I smiled softly at him as he blinked and the tears over flowed onto his beautiful russet cheeks. I wiped them away slowly with my thumb and kissed his cheek as he held me in his arms.

"I'll miss you Bells," he murmured.

"I'll miss you too Jacob," I chocked back sobs and pulled away from him.

I got into the car with Edward and then my dream shot to a day when I was seeing Jacob again after the wedding. I hadn't seen anyone other than the Cullen family since I had been turned. It had been too dangerous to see anyone human. Jacob hadn't said he was coming by, but I had wanted him too. I had missed him so. But the very second I saw him bloodlust covered all my emotions, and all I could hear was the gentle beat of his heart. I couldn't help but lung at him.

I awoke gasping for air and almost dripping in sweat. That dream had been all too surreal, and it felt horrible. I was just so glad that it was a dream and nothing more. But my heart was still racing like it was still having trouble believing dream from reality. I started to take deep breaths in and out to try and calm myself.

I looked out my window to see it was now morning. The rain was still coming down lightly. My legs flung over the side of the bed as I stood up. I walked down the stairs quickly but carefully. I didn't need to fall while no one was around to help me. Charlie had already left for work. I got out a bowl and the box of cereal, along with the milk. I mixed it all together and started eating. I wanted to see Sam as soon as I could about Jacob.

With the last mouthful, I picked up the bowl and thought I had put it on the side of the sink, when really I had only just put it on the side of the table, and heard it fall onto the ground in a loud smash, breaking into pieces as I turned in the other direction. I turned back around with hearing the sound and grunted in annoyance. Typical! I was so sick of being so clumsy!

I bent down and started to pick up the pieces of the bowl and threw them in the bin. _What a waste,_ I thought, shaking my head. I couldn't wait until the day came when I was no longer clumsy, but then images from my dream started to flash through my mind. Suddenly I wasn't so keen on becoming a vampire after all. Why did one little dream change that? I would never hurt Jacob. I then got a piece of paper towel, wet it and wiped up the droplets of milk on the floor the bowl had lost with breaking.

Once that was all done, I ran into the hall and called Sam's house. I didn't think he or Emily was home after five rings, but then after the sixth, Sam finally answered. He was going to meet me at First Beach in half an hour. I got the feeling he knew what it was about too as he didn't want to say much.

I got dressed and headed out to my truck. Once inside, I turned on the heater to dry my clothes out from the rain. I drove through the rain to La Push, and slowly as I went, it eased off little by little. By the time I got to First Beach, the rain had stopped fully. I got out and walked down to the beach. I couldn't see Sam on the beach yet so I went and sat on a log and watched the ocean's waves roll in and out.

Memories of when Jacob and I had been on this beach started to roll around in my head. The time he told me about the legends of the Cold Ones from his tribe, the walks on the beach we would take after fixing our bikes, him saving me after I had stupidly jumped from the cliffs just to see Edward's face again . . . I missed those times when it was just him and me, when we were friends. It wasn't so complicated back then. I missed the conversations Jacob and I had, the warmth of his body, his arms around me in a warm, friendly and loving hug. I wished we could still have all that, but without knowing it would be awkward for him, all because I loved Edward more than him. I couldn't deny I loved Jacob, too. But it just wasn't enough to make any difference between us. It was just enough to hurt him even more than I ready had. I looked up to the grey sky in wonder of where he was. Safe, I hoped.

The wind picked up abruptly and swirled around me. There was a storm on the way with how the ocean's waves suddenly were turning violent and the clouds were moving faster and turning darker.

Hearing someone walking down the beach, I glanced down to the shoreline and saw Sam walking up towards me. I stood with seeing him and smiled lightly. He smiled back, but in a less friendly way and gave me a nod of his head. "Hello Bella. "I'm surprised to have heard from you," he said in a deep and even tone. He couldn't have really said that. He would have to already have realized why I was here. He would have to already know I wanted to know where Jacob was. I started to think Sam was playing coy.

"I want to know where Jacob is, Sam. I thought you would know that much," I said softly, looking up to him, but he just turned his head away from me and stared at the cliffs not far from us.

"I don't know where he is Bella. I'm sorry." He went to turn away from me, when I stopped him by speaking again. I didn't believe what he had said.

"Charlie doesn't know if he's ran off or been kidnapped Sam. I at least need to know where he is, or what happened to him, even if no one else knows. I need to know if he's okay Sam. Please."

I could tell just by the way he was acting he knew something, and I wasn't going to stop until I knew it too. I just hoped he knew that. Both Jacob and Edward knew how stubborn I was, so surely with the pack mind connected to Jacob's, Sam would know too.

Finally he turned back around to me halfway and answered. "The last time I saw him Bella, he was thinking about running off. He was hurt, emotionally and in need of time alone to work things out for himself. I do not know where he is Bella. But knowing Jacob, he would be fine. He's stronger than people think he is." Sam carried on walking away then.

"Thank you Sam," I smiled, making him stop and turn halfway towards me again. "Just please keep the police out of this Bella. The last thing we need is our secret exposed. You know what would happen then."

I nodded with swallowing a lump in my throat. "Yes Sam. Of course and I understand," I nodded again and watched as he disappeared into the greenery of the forest upon which he must have come from.

I went back towards my truck and got in, just as a huge droplet of rain came down on my windshield and a flash of lightning cracked the sky open over top of the ocean, hurting my eyes as it went. The sound of thunder seemed as though it rocked through the land as it crashed over the mountains around me. I hadn't ever heard it so loud around here before.

I drove back to Forks and towards the Cullen house. It felt like it had been all too long since I had seen Edward when it had really only been just over twenty-four hours. He had been out last night hunting with Jasper and Emmett. I had missed falling asleep to his gentle breaths. The storm wasn't as fierce in Forks as it had been in La Push when I left, which seemed ironic as the rain had been worse here when I left for La Push.

Before I had even been able to unclick my seatbelt, Edward was outside of my truck, opening the door for me to get out. I smiled and jumped out quickly. His arms wrapped around me and kissed me softly before pulling back with a bright look in his golden eyes and smile of bright white teeth. "I missed you, Mrs Cullen," he smiled, walking me inside the house and out of the rain. I had to giggle at those words, but something just didn't feel right after I had, and he sensed it.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked, looking down upon me with a concerned look upon his features, sitting down beside me on the leather couch.

I sighed and leaned forward. "It's Jacob. He ran off. Charlie didn't know if he ran off or was kidnapped as no one had seen him since he left the house. I just went and seen Sam and he said he saw Jacob when he said he was thinking about running off." I shook my head with the tears coming to the edge of my eyes.

My hands covered my face to hide them. I didn't want Edward to see just how upset I was over this. It had been enough when Jacob had kissed me. I then felt Edward's cold hands coming around me and pulling me into his side, running his hand up and down me, trying to comfort me. But it wasn't really working at all.

"It's all my fault," I murmured through sobs. "I didn't go and see him. I should been helping to look after him. After everything he's done for me." I kept shaking my head, trying to will my tears to stop along with my blubbering.

"It's not your fault Bella. I'm sure Jacob just needs some time alone to work things out. He'll be back soon enough. You know that."

I looked up to Edward's perfect, flawless face and looked into his eyes. "I don't know what to think anymore Edward. I don't know if he will be back. Sam said he was emotionally hurt. While ever I'm here, I'll only be hurting him more . . . I've driven him out of his home. Anyway from his friends and family-" Edward cut me off midsentence before I could say another thing.

"Don't be so silly Bella. You didn't make Jacob leave. He'll be back before the wedding. He wouldn't miss that."

I wasn't so sure if Edward was right or not. I really didn't think Jacob would be back before then. It would hurt him more than anything to see there was no longer a fighting chance I could be his. I didn't think I wanted him there to know what it was doing to him anyway. I knew he would do it for me though, even if it cut him to pieces on the inside.

Just mentioning the wedding now made me think of that awful dream I had last night. God it was horrible. I clutched to Edward and squeezed my eyes closed with just the thought of it coming to me. The images were far too detailed and graphic. They were more like a memory than a dream. I wished they would go away!

"I hope your right," I murmured and leaned into Edward's chest. I hoped he would be back one day soon. I couldn't be without him in my life. I had to have Jacob. I was cold without him . . . cold and lifeless without my sun. . .

**Jacob's Point of View**

While walking out to the main room of the club, I pulled on my sun glasses again and found I no longer needed them. _Weird_, I thought and placed them into the packet of my jacket. I looked around the place for Skyla. Sure enough, I found her dancing to the loud bass music, just like I had met her. She seemed to be enjoying herself greatly. I smiled and was about to go over to her when I felt my hand been slowly and softly grabbed. I smirked crookedly and looked over my shoulder to Kasey standing behind me. I knew _that_ cool and soft touch well now.

"You can't keep your hands off me, can you?" I asked in a huskily murmur, with a cocky smile upon my face as she pulled me into the dark shadows, in the corner of the club and kissed me with a light flirty giggle and both her hands on my cheeks.

"You know it," she answered, looking into my eyes seductively while biting down on her lower lip, trying to make herself look innocent and sweet – which she was far from being. I snickered proudly and just caught her hand after I felt it on the helm of my jeans. I looked her sternly in the eye with my head tilted to the side before leaning closer to her.

"Later," I murmured huskily in her ear, making her shudder against me. After pulling away, I saw a pout form on her lips. She looked like an innocent little kitten, begging her owner for more food. I couldn't help but laugh.

"You really don't play fair Jacob," she murmured, pouting more.

I laughed again. "Oh, I've been playing fair, until now," I murmured and kissed her neck lightly before walking away. I heard her sigh, slightly annoyed, making me grin without turning back to her. I liked teased Kasey. It was fun.

I looked around the room, trying to locate Skyla again. I saw her walking over to me from what looked like had been from being around back. She was smiling and had a small pastic bag in her hand before she pushed it into the pocket of her jeans.

She smiled with looking up to me. "Hey, where were you? I thought you had gone home or something."

I smirked crookedly, trying to play coy, but before I could even say a word, she knew, somehow. "You've been with her, again, haven't you?" Skyla put her hands on her hips while looking me in the eye. She was trying to play the tough guy, but I could see she was just playing around.

"Um, how could you tell?" There was no way I could deny it. Skyla already knew me too well, already.

She let out a half huff, half laugh. "C'mon Jacob! You're smirking like a dog that had just got laid, which is unlike your brooding, moping self lately, and your ego has grown. What on earth was she telling you?"

I snickered. I didn't know that much had changed about me. "Like I'm going to tell you," I laughed as we headed out of the club and outside into the fresh air. Every time I was in that club it felt nice to be back outside afterwards. I wondered what it was and if any humans noticed it too. Maybe it was just me with the warmer temperature of the club to what it was outside.

We were walking home when I started to think of Bella again. I sighed and shook my head, annoyed with myself. The whole time I had been with Kasey and trying to work things out, I had hardly thought about her at all, and if I had, it wasn't for long. What was worse was the other feeling I had too. I wanted to phase to get the emotions of pain away that came with the thoughts and memories of her.

Skyla noticed my sigh and looked back to me. "What's wrong?"

"I think I need some Wolfsbane. I can't get Bella out of my head again."

"I got some," she said, reaching into her pocket and pulled out the plastic bad I had seen earlier. So that's what she had gone and done. "I can give you some if you want, but, I was thinking, before I do, could you teach me the whole phasing thing? Cause you know this is going to take away you're phasing again." A small smile flickered across her mouth. I could see and sense she was a little shy about it. _Out of all the things she's should be shy about, it would be phasing she __**is**_shy about! I thought, mentally shaking my head.

"Sure," I nodded and smiled. "Let's go."

I didn't know how I would go though. I didn't want to go into my wolf form in case I didn't come back out of it. Phasing into my wolf was easier and came more naturally to me than the guys. I often wondered if that was because I was less human than them. But, it was on days that I couldn't get Bella out of my head, I felt like I couldn't phase back at all. I was afraid it was only going to be a matter of time until I couldn't phase back. It scared me the thought. And it _was_ getting harder and harder to shift back. Wolfsbane was my perfect solution. It killed two birds with one stone – took away my memories of Bella and stopped my phasing.

On the way out of the city, we passed plenty of traffic. One car I recognized as a police car. I kept my jacket's hood over my head and my head hung after seeing them and kept a careful eye out around me until we got out of town. It was actually nice to be out of town and back in the country again, where the air was much fresher and even cooler.

I looked around while walking slowly alongside Skyla. I hadn't taken too much notice to the forests around here before. I had been too busy trying to fight or run to have even tried to take much notice. The forest was darker at night than in the lightless city streets. I even thought it was darker out here than at home. I could hear nightlife around us – a few birds flying around, a rabbit or two with its family not too far away, and bigger animals like mountain lions and bears watching their prey.

I looked up at the starry night sky and watched for a moment. I only looked back down when I heard Skyla clap her hands together lightly and say, "alright, so, what do I do?"

I had to think about it for a moment. It came just so naturally to me now, it was like breathing. I didn't have to think about what I had to do to phase. It just came. "Do you feel your inner wolf?" I asked, remembering how Sam had taught me.

"All too much," she sighed, making me smirk.

"And what does it want?"

She looked at me oddly with her eyes narrowed and her head tilted to the side. I couldn't help but laugh. I must have sounded crazy. "Does it want to come out? Take over?" I asked, then all her confusion on her face disappeared.

"Yes, I guess," she laughed lightly.

"Focus on that. Picture yourself phasing and how good _it_ feels to be free. Now are you getting a fire like feeling in your spine?" I watched her as she closed her eyes lightly and put her face up to the moon above us. I could sense just how focused she was.

"Mmm, I can. What now . . ." she trailed off with shudders starting to go through her.

"Calm yourself down. Deep breaths and focus on something else, something that makes you happy or relaxed."

"This sounds stupid Jacob, but, I don't have anything like that."

I sighed silently to myself. I had forgotten that part. "Focus on me then. Focus on my voice, or on your breathing."

With doing as I had told her, slowly the shudders became slower and softer until they disappeared altogether. I smiled, proud of Skyla. It had taken me ages to learn that trick. Her eyes opened as a smile came across her face.

"I did it," she laughed happily and proudly. "I've never been able to calm down before I phased."

I smiled and wrapped my arm around her shoulders. "I'm proud of you. Now are you ready for the next step?"

She looked up at me through the darkness of the night with narrowed and confused eyes. "Next step?"

I smirked crookedly. "Phasing of course," I said and took a couple of steps away from her. "What's the point of having to live and put up with this crap life unless you live the perks of it too?" I unzipped my jacket and let it fall from my shoulders and onto the forest floor and started to take off my tee shirt.

"I don't know Jacob . . ." she said nervously. "What are you doing?"

I turned around to face her still with my tee shirt on. Skyla seriously didn't know the basics, did she? I thought she would at least know that one. "You do know when you phase your clothes turn to shreds, right?"

"No, but that would explain why I can never find them when I do phase back. . ." She looked away shyly from me and a small rock beside her. I saw a light redness in her cheeks. I knew this would be slightly awkward for the both of us in the start. It was just like when Leah joined the pack. It was bad enough getting used to the idea of the guys been naked, but Leah, that was a whole different story. I was sure it had been tough for her too. It would have to be. Not only had she been the _only_ female werewolf we knew of in history, but she had to get used to being naked around us too. And none of it had been helped by Paul being the dick he was. Sam and I so often had to pull him into line after cracking at joke at her. Just for a day, I would have loved to see how he handled everything Leah put up with. I was more than sure he wouldn't be able to cope as well as she did.

I tried to contain myself from laughing and just shook my head instead. I took off my black shirt and let it fall from my arm and onto my jacket. I was about to take my jeans off under the cover of a tree when I heard Skyla ask if I was sure no one was out here who could catch us.

"I would hear anyone if they were," I answer, which was true. I was always aware of what was going on around me. I had to be. It was only when I was at home I let my guard down, most of the time. "You'll probably hear my thoughts when we're both in our wolf form too, you know?" I added after a couple of minutes while pulling my shirt in the right way and dropping it on the ground again. It had freaked me out the first time I heard voices in my head, so I knew it might have freaked her out too. I thought I had seriously gone crazy the night I phased.

"Okay. . ." she murmured, nervously. I snickered to myself. That was the _worst_ thing about being in a pack – everyone knowing your every thought and nothing being kept a secret anymore, unless you were _really_ good at controlling your thoughts, which I seriously wasn't.

I shook my head while still smirking. I couldn't believe _I_ was teaching a newbie werewolf all the wolf things. I never thought that would happen, because I never thought about taking on the role as an Alpha, or would ever need to.

I pushed my jeans from my hips and tied them around my ankle. I felt a shift in the wind around me just after I stood to phase. I was surprised to see Skyla had beaten me to it. I jumped from the side of the tree and phased at the same time. I landed on all fours in the middle of the forest. Skyla was just in front of me. Her coat was a bright white pelt with flicks of light grey going through it. Her eyes were a brighter blue in her wolf form. She was a beautiful wolf.

She looked up to me with shock going through her thoughts of how much bigger I was to her. I couldn't stop myself from snickering a little.

'_I can't believe that's really you Jacob,_' she thought. I could sense there was a little fear behind her thought. I lowered my head down to her, showing I wasn't a threat, no matter how much bigger or different I seemed. I couldn't blame her for feeling a little intimidated by my size. Even the guys got that way sometimes.

'_Wana go for a run?'_ I asked. I wanted to feel the air going through my coat and the moon shining down upon me. It felt like it had been far too long since I had felt those feelings. The thing I loved most about being a werewolf was the feeling of the air going through my pelt. It wasn't anything like riding a motorbike, 'cause when you were running in your wolf form, it was a lot faster than any truck, car or motorbike could ever go. It was freedom!

Skyla's ears pricked up with hearing my suggestion. '_Sure!'_ her thought rang through my head all too loudly. I grimaced at how loud it had been.

'_A little quieter,'_ I thought back with a smile and took the lead.

'_Sorry,'_ she giggled.

'_Tell me if I'm running too fast for you,'_ I thought and started to run.

My legs stretched out with giant leaps forward as I went. My paws met the ground every few seconds. I moved silently even with the great speed I had going. I jumped from the sides of trees, jumping down rocks and into valleys and ran up rocky mountains. I glanced behind me and Skyla was just a few metres away. I smiled and let out a loud howl, calling freedom upon what I was feeling.

The wind rushed past us with a force almost as strong as a hurricane. I glanced up at the moon shining down on me. With coming upon a small stream, I slowed down and carefully walked through it and waited for Skyla on the other side. The moon reflected down on the stream, making it look like little crystals shining at the bottom. I smiled and then looked up to Skyla. Her white coat shined brightly in the moonlight too.

I let out another howl from where I stood. It was louder than the other and echoed off of the mountains around us. Skyla stopped in the middle of the stream and looked at me curiously. '_Why do you do that?' _she asked.

I looked her in the eye and stepped closer to her. '_Because it's fun. Makes you feel alive.'_

She just shook her head and held my gaze. '_I'll never understand you Jacob. How on earth do you find that fun?'_

'_Try it, and you'll find out,' _my thought whispered lightly into her head. I lifted my head to the moon and closed my eyes while taking in a deep breath and let it out another loud howl. This time I wasn't howling alone though. I smiled and glanced down at Skyla howling with me before closing my eyes again.

She broke off halfway and ended up giggling. I looked down to her, smiling. '_Fun, huh?'_

'_Yes,_" she finally admitted.

I stepped closer to her and licked the side of her face. She looked up at me slightly confused. '_I'm proud of you. C'mon, let's go home. It's almost dawn.'_

'_Okay,'_ she nodded as I took lead going back.

It didn't take as long as I thought it would to get back to the forest we had left with our clothing. I was impressed to see Skyla shifting back without any of my help at all. She was a fast learner, faster than I was.

I phased back and untied my jeans around my ankle to pulled them on along with my tee shirt and jacket. Dawn had already broken and the sun was slowly starting to rise over the mountains. I let Skyla come and find me instead of my going and looking for her and maybe catching her half-dressed. I didn't want to embarrass her. We still were basically strangers to one and other.

While we were walking along the highway of New York, I realized I had gone that whole time without even thinking for a second about Bella. And now, with that thought, came more thoughts of her. I growled in frustration as my hands clenched into a fist. Why couldn't I keep her out of my head for just a full day? I was going to go crazy if this kept up!

I shook my head and pulled my hood farther over my head in even more frustration. I stared down at the narrow footpath and kept on walking. I could feel Skyla's eyes on me.

"What's wrong?"

"Bella," I muttered. "I'm going to go crazy with these thoughts and memories of her sooner or later."

"Do you want some Wolfsbane?"

I took a couple of minutes to think about it. I really didn't want it, but I was getting desperate to stay sane. "Yeah, thanks," I answered after a few contemplating minutes.

I knew both dad and Charlie would go crazy if they knew about my new 'need' just to keep Bells out of my head. I felt stupid and weak for needing it too, but it was something I was going to have to get over if I wanted to stay sane until I finally got over Bella – if I ever did.

Skyla stopped in the middle of the footpath and took the plastic bag out of her pocket. I stood in front of her, blocking any vision from the drivers who passed by. I kept a watch out as Skyla fiddled with the bag.

"Here," she said quietly. I looked down to her giving me six tablets. I looked her in the eye, confused. She could read my silent questions. "They taste less. It's still Wolfsbane Jacob."

"But six? Isn't that an overdose?"

She smiled. "Not for us, it isn't. It'll last you a tops of forty-eight hours, min of twenty. "

"Appending on. . ." I murmured, looking down to the little white tablets in my hand, contemplating about if to take them still or not.

"Height, muscle, and temperature," she answered quickly, like an expert would. It started to make me wonder how she knew so much.

I mentally shrugged my shoulders, no longer really caring as long as it still worked and took the six of them into my mouth at the same time and swallowed them dry. They still tasted bitter to sickly-sweet to me. "Yuk," I muttered and shook my head. I really couldn't wait to get home for just a drink of water now. "They don't taste any different to the power if you ask me."

She laughed a scoff. "If you get enough of it Jacob, you would know the difference," she said and then handed me a small piece of paper towel with the top of it twisted up.

"What's that?" I eyed it warily.

"Your stash," she said quickly and put it in my pocket of my jacket as someone walked by us.

"I can't afford that much," I murmured, only loud enough for her to hear me. I looked to the guy walking past us and eyed him carefully. I thought he was trying to overhear us talking.

Skyla shook her head. "It's free. You let me live with you Jacob for nothing. It's the least I can do."

I pursed my lips into a line with being unsure. "You're sure it's okay?" I murmured as we started to walk again.

"Yes," she nodded and looked behind us to the guy who was no longer watching us, thankfully.

The whole walk back home I was on edge with watching out for any sign of a police car. I kept my head low and my hood over my head the whole time. I was starting to feel paranoid and I knew it wasn't because of the Wolfsbane working on me, but more because I had it on me. I knew it had serious consequences with the police if they busted you for holding a drug. It was the last thing I or Skyla needed.

It didn't take long until I felt my memory and feelings been wiped of everything to do and was Bella, along with my inner wolf falling asleep or something. I actually felt light and without a weight upon my shoulders and chest now. The claustrophobia had disappeared hours ago, so I knew it hadn't been the weight of that. I hadn't even noticed this weight was there until it was gone.

"Was that an unmarked police car?" I asked and picked up my pace, just in case.

"Calm down Jacob. The police will not bother us unless we're acting weird. Wolfsbane doesn't affect us like that."

"You're sure?"

"Yes Jacob. I'm sure. What are you so worried about anyway?"

I shook my head, not having a good enough reason to speak of. I just kept my eyes on my feet as I went the rest of the way home. I hoped by doing that it may have distracted my mind from being so paranoid, but it really didn't help that much. My brain just wondered endlessly, thinking about nothing because the only thing I had to think about was erased for a while. Which I was greatly thankful for.

The feeling of being paranoid didn't lift until we were finally just outside of the apartment building. I looked up and out of the horizon before going inside. It was sunny with it being early morning, but I could see and sense another storm was on the way. It was dark out the North and an odd warm wind was picking up. I could smell the sweet scent of rain in the air too.

Skyla opened the open for me to follow her inside. I closed it behind me and followed her to the elevator. The doors opened and out stepped a police officer. My body tensed with seeing _her_. I knew her face. She had been the one who had arrested me the other day. She looked me in the eyes before looking me up and down, slowly walking away, towards the exit, eyeing me as Skyla and I got in the elevator.

I leaned up against the back wall, letting a breath I had been holding escape me in half a gasp. I put my hand to my head and in suddenly feeling dizzy with not enough air passing through me. That had been a close one. I was sure she had recognised me. The look in her eye and her emotions were enough to tell me that.

"Are you okay?" Skyla asked, in a worried tone. I nodded and took a couple of deep breaths before answering.

"Yeah. I think that police officer recognised me. I stopped breathing while she was looking at me."

"And how on earth would _she_ recognise you Jacob? And so what if she did? I think you're getting paranoid."

I looked up to her. "Not getting Skyla. Am. I am paranoid. And if you like to know, I got into a fight protecting myself from some idiots when I first got here, and she was the one who arrested me. I jumped from the car before we got to the police station. Plus, any police officer might recognise me! I know one back home and I know he would be contacting all of America to find me if he could!"

"Oh great! So now cops could be looking for you, just to take you back home. That puts us at more risk of getting caught. Even if they just recognise you and want to take you home, you could easily get us both arrested if you have something on you!"

I stared at her with my eye brow raised. Her eyes questioned me back. "Uh, drama queen, much?"

She rolled her eyes as the doors of the elevator opened. "Well, it could easily happen." She shrugged. And I thought I had an imagination.

Stepping out of the elevator and over to the door of my apartment, I heard the other elevator coming. Just as I opened the door and was about to step inside, I saw the same police officer downstairs walking out of the elevator. She looked around. I kept my head hung and grabbed Skyla by the hand before she could see us.

I closed the door quickly and leaned up against it, just in case. I rolled my eyes, realizing with the look Skyla gave me how stupid and paranoid I was being. Though, why would she be back on our level when she had been leaving?

I shook my head. _Being_ _paranoid again Jacob!_ I thought and took off my jacket, and threw it over onto the couch.

"Jacob, that wasn't her. You're seeing things," Skyla said. Making me think, _oh great!_

I walked down the hallway to my bedroom and grabbed my bottle of water from the bedside table and drank half of it. I flopped back on my bed and stared up at the ceiling, thinking. I didn't feel tired or anything near it really. I was wide awake, thanks to seeing one police officer downstairs and getting all worked up about it, for nothing. I had been paranoid, stupidly paranoid. So what if they arrested me again? I would just the do same thing as I had before – break the hand cuffs and escape them again somehow. It really was no problem, or was I just starting to get rebellious and think no one could stop me from doing what I wanted? I was so confused. This couldn't be the Wolfsbane playing with my head. I was doing it to myself. I was so lost and confused about Bella, I didn't know what to do anymore – or what to care or worry about. I made a decision there and then. I wasn't going to worry anymore. I was going to let what happened, happen, 'cause caring was just making me go crazy.

I looked up to my bedroom door with hearing Skyla knock. She slowly opened it with a light smile on her face. "Are you okay?" she asked gently and came to sit beside me on my bed.

I understood what her question of 'are you okay' was directed at, but I really wished she would stop asking me, because, I really wasn't okay at all in many ways, because of Bella. God, that even sounds confusing in my head!

I sat up, crossed my legs while staring down at the fading sunray on the floor in front of me.

"Yeah, fine," I lied. "Just thinking that's all." I smiled and looked up to her. "You look tired."

Skyla yawned while nodding. "So do you."

"Don't feel it."

"You will later I bet," she smiled and leaned into my side. "You have no idea how nice it is to live here."

"I'm sure I will." She made me smile with hearing her words. My arms wrapped around her shoulders. "I'm glad I can have you here," I whispered, looking down to her, now leaning into my chest and staring out the window.

She looked up into my eyes and smiled again. "Can I crash with you Jacob? Just for today?"

My head tilted to my stomach as my finger ran down the side of her face. "Sure. Sleeping alone sucks anyway," I laughed, leaning back down against my mattress.

"Mmm, it does," she agreed, closing her eyes and leaning her head into my shoulder. My arms stayed wrapped around Skyla. It felt nice to actually have someone in my arms, falling asleep with me, instead of being alone.

This was just what I wished I could have done with Bella. I wanted to fall asleep to the sound of her heart beating and her steady breaths, and to be able to be the one to wake her up from nightmares. But I guess I wouldn't have to worry about her sleeping at all soon. It was only a couple of days until the wedding, and I knew not long after that she would be turned into one of them. I cringed at the thought. I was glad I wasn't home for when they broke the treaty. The last thing I wanted was to be a part of that.

* * *

><p>Thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter guys, it means a lot to me to have your its taken me this long to update. I've been flat out. I thought we needed to see what Bella was thinking, and how she reacted when she found out Jake had left, but this isn't going to be the last we see of her point of view. Hope you all are enjoying the story so far. I know I'm really having fun writing it.<p>

Keep those reviews coming in, I love hearing what you all think!

Love ya guys,

- Sky


	6. Friday Night

**Friday Night **

_This Chapter was Inspired by Last Friday Night (TGIF) – Katy Perry_

**Bella's Point of View**

Ever since I had learned of Jacob leaving, I didn't feel the same. I felt lost, and cold. Like all the warmth and sunlight in my life had disappeared along with him. A couple of weeks ago, I was loving the rain, now I hated it. It had been raining for the past week and it was warm too. But the rain was making me feel cold, which kept reminding me of Jacob and how he always kept me warm when he was around. But it wasn't just his body heat that I missed which warmed me and made me feel alive, but also that smile of his. That smile I hadn't seen in weeks. I missed it. I missed him. . .

Sitting on the couch, I stared at the cream carpet just below the blank TV, in a dazed state of thought. My wedding was only a week away, and yet, since finding out Jacob had left, I wasn't excited or looking forward to it anymore. If anything, I was dreading the day, but why? I had made my choice and it was Edward and always would be, but without Jake by my side, I didn't feel so close to Edward. I felt like I was cold and no longer living. I couldn't work it out for the life of me. I wasn't changing my mind about becoming a vampire or getting married. I knew what I wanted, but, I also wanted Jacob to be here too.

I shook my head. I was being selfish towards him again. _You've chosen Edward, now get Jake out of your mind Bella,_ I thought. I didn't need Jacob anymore. I had Edward and that's all that mattered.

I pushed down on the couch in frustration as I stood up onto my feet. Charlie came down the stairs dressed for work in his uniform. I was rarely up before him. I hadn't been able to sleep. I had by far too many thoughts and dreams of Jacob to sleep past five o'clock. I had awoken almost screaming in Edward's arms with the same dream as I had a few weeks ago – I was a vampire and attacking Jacob. I grimaced at the thought of it. That dream was by far too surreal, especially when I was going to be a vampire soon. I wouldn't hurt Jacob even if I was a blood thirsty vampire, would I? I couldn't take that risk anyway. . . I would have to stay away from him after the change – if he ever came back. Just thinking those thoughts stung my heart.

"Hey Bells, you're up early," Charlie said, heading into the kitchen to get breakfast for himself. I followed him and sat in one of the chairs around the breakfast table.

"Yeah, couldn't sleep too well," I muttered.

Charlie quickly mixed up a protein shake and drank it while I spoke. "Oh," he murmured, setting his glass in the sink. "Because of Jacob?" he asked then, turning around to face me.

I sighed and nodded. I wished I knew where he was. I wished I could have just said sorry to him and made it all better like he tried to with me when I was down. Jake was always there for me no matter what. . . He said he would never go away, and yet, he had broken his promise to me. . . And I was the one feeling bad about him breaking it, because I knew he had broken it because he couldn't take it any longer. It was all my fault! Things sounded and were so complicated now. What happened to the easy days working in his shed on the bikes? I just hoped he was okay and had somewhere decent to sleep at night.

"I'm sure he's okay Bells," Charlie said and left for work. For some reason, I got the feeling he was trying to make us both believe it, not just me. Charlie hadn't been able to find a thing on Jacob that may have indicated where he could have gone or was.

Edward had gone hunting again, so it was just another day to myself to think more about Jacob. I didn't understand why I felt so down since he had left. I had Edward. I had chosen Edward, not him. I loved Edward more than him . . . maybe that was my problem. Maybe guilt was taking hold of me for all the times I had used him for my own selfishness. How could I have used him like that? After everything he had done for me over the years?

I slammed my fisted hand down on the table and threw the chair back away from me as I stood up. _I don't want to think about it anymore!_ I thought, basically shouting it in my head. I had Edward. I didn't need Jake! I had to keep reminding myself that over and over in my head before it finally started to sink in. I had made my bed, now it was time to lay on it – so why was it so uncomfortable?

I went over to the old, dusty CD player. Running my hand over it, the dusk flew in all directions as I turned it on and pressed play for whatever CD was left in it from the last time it had been used. I instantly recognised the music to be Kesha's. I turned the CD player right up and started to clean the house, trying to forget every thought I had of Jake. And it worked, until I finished cleaning.

I sighed looking around the place for something else to do. I had finished my work at the Newton's store a couple of weeks ago, and I had already cleaned upstairs yesterday. I had nothing left to do with Edward gone out hunting.

Going over to the window, I looked out and saw it was still raining, though it had eased off somewhat. Finding my rain jacket, I pulled it on and went outside. It was getting dark but I didn't care.

The rain was coming down lightly on my red jacket as it hugged my body, keeping me dry and warm. My arms crossed around my chest as I walked over to my truck to drive to La Push. The drive seemed shorter than usual. I stopped at First Beach and got out into the rain again.

A light breeze swirled around me as I walked along the shoreline and towards where the forest started at the end of the beach, where once, Jake and I had spent a whole day alone just talking on a sort of picnic. We had only brought a packet or two of chips while doing some homework together. The day had been perfect and warm to do such a thing.

As I walked, I kept looking around for the place we had spent the day, to what felt like years ago. I started to hear the light sound of a river flowing and knew I was close. Pushing back a wet fern or two, I finally found the place. It was just like I remembered; only the lighting was darker now.

The grass was short and green and tall trees reached up to the sky in a half circle, somewhat twenty feet away from the river. On the sunny day when we had been here, the bright sun flickered through the trees and reflected into the shallow, clear watered river. When we leaned over the side of the bank, if you stayed quiet and still enough, you could see fish swimming around. Jacob had told me the river got bigger the farther up the river you went. It was the same river which Charlie and Billy fished on together.

I sat by the river and watched the rain drops hitting its surface while letting my mind run free with all the memories Jake and I had here of that one day. He had almost kissed me here too. _I – I wish I had let- _I shook my head, cutting off that thought before I could finish it. I didn't wish that at all. I had Edward . . . so what was I doing here? I didn't know.

My hand ran over the wet grass and I lay down upon it, just like the day we had been together. I smiled thinking about that day. I started to see that day all over again.

_Jacob was laughing as the wind kept blowing the pages to my homework away as well as the packet of chips I was eating from. I was getting frustrated with the two until I glanced at him from the corner of my eye and saw his smile. I couldn't help but laugh too then._

_He found a small rock and pinned my papers down with it. He leaned over on the picnic rug and started writing down some answers to the questions while crunching down on a mouthful of chips. The sun was shining down through the trees above us, just letting small flickers of light fall upon our spot. The air was fresh and cool, but it was nice at the same time._

_I leaned back on my hands, looking around after finishing my homework. I thought there could easily be fairies' living around this part of the forest it was so peaceful. I wondered if fairies even existed. And if they did, what did they look like? Just like in the story books, or were they bigger, more human like?_

"_Hey Bells, wana go for a swim?" Jacob asked with a smile after finishing his homework too._

_I fell red in the cheeks. I really did want to go, but I didn't have any swimmers with me and I felt too embarrassed to get wet in these clothes in front of Jacob. It was a nice warm day too. I just shook my head before replying, "I don't have my swimmers with me."_

_He shrugged his shoulders and murmured, "Suit yourself," and pulled his washed out, black tee shirt from over his head, letting it fall onto the grass beside him. Jumped in, he created a huge splash with hitting the water._

_My jaw dropped. I was soaked from head to toe thanks to that splash of his. "Jacob Black!" I shouted. I wouldn't have been surprised if he had done that purpose. _

_He was just coming up for air when he heard me and turned around. I could see by the look of his face he was holding back from laughing. I must have looked like a drowned rat, or worse. "Sorry," he mumbled. _

_I quickly got past my little hissy fit after noticing how his long hair was now clinging to his naked, russet torso, and how the water from his face was dripping down onto his shoulders before running over his pecks and stomach muscles. I went over to the side of the bank to sit. _

_Jacob's eyes suddenly narrowed slightly. "What are you staring at now?" he murmured, holding my gaze. I hadn't even noticed I was staring at him. _

_I shook my head, looking and leaning away. "Nothing," I murmured, staring down at the grass, starting to play with it nervously._

The vision of that day in front of me started to fade as I could hear someone shouting my name. I then felt a warm hand around my arms as my eyes opened. I looked up to their face and saw Embry leaning over me. His hand brushed down over my wet cheek. It was still raining.

"Bella, are you okay?" he murmured softly. "Are you hurt? God your freezing," he stated, pulling me into his arms, where I instantly felt warmer.

I couldn't think to reply. I just shook my head and closed my eyes as he carried me. "You'll be home soon Bella. Don't worry," he whispered while walking quickly. I just nodded and leaned my head into his chest. Embry was just like Jacob, but just didn't have the same loving and caring touch as Jake did. I didn't know what had happened back there by the river. I must have fallen asleep or something. I hadn't been getting much sleep since Jacob left. I suddenly thought how ironic this happening was. Just like when Edward had left me, I got lost in the forest, out of my own stupid fault. God, what was Edward going to think now? What could I say to him to explain this happening? He was going to be so upset.

The next thing I knew was Charlie's voice speaking my name over and over again and then Embry's voice explaining how he had found me and that I was only cold and exhausted. Then I heard the velvet voice I usually loved hearing so much.

"Edward," I murmured and felt a coldness coming around me. I knew I was in his arms now, but I wanted to be in Embry's still. "I'm sorry."

"I'm here Bella. It's okay," he said sweetly and lovingly – something I didn't deserve.

My eyes squinted tightly with coming into contact with bright lights. I must have been in the house now. It was much warmer, even with Edward's arms around me. I felt him place me on something soft like a couch or my bed before everything went dark again.

When I woke up, all the lights of the house were turned off. I fought against all the blankets around me to sit up and I look around, wondering where Charlie was and what had happened. I started to remember Embry finding me in La Push and everything else that had happened after that. I had been so stupid to go out there alone like I had!

I sighed, hanging my head as I noticed Edward sitting beside me in the dark, still like a statue. He looked at me with a slight smile lighting his lips. "Are you okay?" he whispered softly.

"Yeah," I answered, nodding.

"Charlie said soon as you wake up, to go and have a shower. You were so cold when Embry found you."

I nodded again and stood up on my feet, walking out of the room and upstairs, not saying another word. I had no idea what to say to Edward if he didn't already know. I felt so ashamed of myself. How could I have been thinking about Jacob when I had him?

I went to my room and grabbed some clothes before going into the bathroom and turning on the shower. The hot water ran over my back, making me feel warmer already. After a while, I slowly slipped down the wall of the shower and touched my knees to my chin, thinking, again. _Why couldn't I stop thinking about Jacob?_ I thought, staring at the bathroom door with blind eyes. The day he had kissed me on the mountain top started to flash before my eyes, like I was watching a movie. My fingers brushed over my lips as I thought of how much passion he had kissed me with that day, and how never before had I felt loved like that, nor so alive. Jacob truly loved me with all his heart and everything he had. And I just kept pushing him away, denying the truth he knew better than anyone else. I loved him, I couldn't deny that now, but still, I loved Edward more. Didn't I?

Tears started to stream down my cheeks with realizing something important. My brain had answered my question. I was lost without Jacob. I needed him more than anything. I needed him more than I needed Edward. I was lifeless and blank without him. I could feel I was falling apart without him here to hold me together.

How could I marry Edward, when I felt so strongly towards Jacob? Jacob had never let me fall. He was always there when I needed him, but I was never there for him when he needed me. He had been hurt because of fighting against the newborns _for_ me, and I only went to see him the once. And now I knew why . . . because I loved him more than I was allowing myself to feel or know. He kissing me on the mountain that day had let me actually feel what I truly did feel for him. And now he was gone, the rest of my feels for him were coming out, because I didn't realize what I had, until it was gone.

I couldn't marry Edward while ever I felt this way towards Jacob. The only problem was . . . I didn't know who I loved more now. I couldn't be without Edward or Jacob. Why did I have to choose between the two of them? No matter who I chose in the end, I would hurt one of them. And I couldn't do that!

I got out of the shower, died off and got dressed before heading downstairs again. I didn't know what to say to Edward, but he had to understand how I felt between the two of them. And Jacob had been right. I was rushing through things, because he knew there was a huge possibility I could change my mind about things. I had already changed my mind about the things I felt towards him. But the difference now was, I couldn't choose between either of them, because I loved them both too much to decide. If only I could have chosen both of them.

I loved Jacob because of everything he made me feel: beautiful, loved, and warm. And then with Edward, I didn't know why I loved him. I just did. Was it his voice I loved? What it his handsome looks? I didn't know. I just loved him. And I wondered if that was a good thing or not. There wasn't even one thing I could name he made me feel, like warmth. I felt lucky because I had found someone so perfect like Edward. I knew I was lucky, extremely lucky. But what else was there about him I loved, that wasn't physical?

I felt over protected when Edward was around, even know I knew he was protecting me out of love. I was nowhere near as pretty as his family were. I was just plain when he was beside me. Even the photos beside my bed told me that. I loved him, I knew I did with all my heart, but why couldn't I just find one thing I loved about him, that wasn't physical, like I could with Jacob? Edward was all the time telling me how much he loved me, and telling me how beautiful I was, but it was only when Jake told me the very same thing, did I truly believe it. It was all so confusing in my own head. I didn't know how I would explain it to him and not sound like a blubbering crazy person.

Walking slowly down the stairs, I saw Edward sitting on the couch waiting for me. He smiled softly with seeing me and stood. I smiled back slightly and then let it disappeared.

"Edward," I murmured, sitting on the couch where he had been. "I – I think we should call off the wedding, just for now. I need to think clearly and work out my feelings towards Jacob. I don't think I can do that with the wedding approaching as quickly as it is. I'm sorry."

Looking up to his face, I could see the disappointment in his beautiful golden eyes before nodding lightly. "I understand Bella. Take all the time you need," he said in a soft and kind tone which really did make me believe what he said.

I smiled slightly and continued. "I was thinking, maybe, maybe I should go and visit mum again, alone, for a while. It might help work things out."

"Of course," was all he said. No longer could I see the disappointment on his face, or anything else. There wasn't a single emotion displayed on his face now. It was just blank, like a piece of paper.

"Call me, when you decided," he murmured and smiled slightly, heading towards the door.

I nodded, following him. I couldn't believe this was happening. I had everything in front of my eyes I had ever wanted, and now I was throwing it all away for my missing best friend, I didn't even know if he was coming back or not.

"Goodnight Bella," Edward's voice sung like always.

"Goodnight, Edward," I paused midsentence, not knowing how to feeling. To a point, I felt disappointment and then I also felt like this was the right thing to do, until I truly knew how I felt towards Jacob. I wished he was here, so maybe sorting out my feelings towards him may have been easier. But then again it may have been harder too. If I did in fact choose him because I loved him more, what was the point if I never saw him again?

I close the door behind Edward and leaned up against it, staring up at the ceiling while allowing a tear to shed over my cheeks. _Where are you Jacob?_ My emotions were blank and lost. I felt like the hole in my chest had reopened again. But this time, it wasn't because of Edward at all. And now, I needed Jacob to hold me together like last time, but he wasn't here to help me this time. I didn't know what would have become of me last time if he hadn't been there to hold me together, to bring the life back into me with his smiles, laughter, warmth and love. I guess now I would find out. I was receiving pay back for all the times I had used him over the years.

Without Jacob, I felt like I had nothing . . . I had lost everything, when I had lost him. He was the one who made me feel like the luckiest person in the world. The only girl who had everything laid out before her, just sitting there waiting at her feet – or was what Edward who made me feel that way? Was that why I loved him so? I had no idea. Edward could give me anything in the world I wanted, but I wasn't one to love material items. But maybe it was the thought of being able to have anything I wanted which appealed to me, without the need to actually own them. Edward was everything I wasn't.

**Jacob's Point of View **

I had always heard people say the news was depressing, but I never really believed it until today when I saw the date behind the news woman keep coming up again and again. Everywhere I looked, I saw the date of today, like someone was rubbing it in. August thirteenth – Bella's wedding day – and never had I ever been so aware of the date in my life. Everywhere I went, I saw the date: on my phone, in town, on the TV, my alarm clock . . . I just couldn't escape it. Half of the time I didn't even know what date it was. How I wished today was one of those days.

Growling, I grabbed the TV remote and turned it off. I fell back against the couch hard with a loud sigh, staring up at the white ceiling. I started to let my mind wonder on the subject. I bet Bella looked like a beauty queen in her wedding dress with her hair pulled up and in curls. In a way I wanted to be there with her, in another, it was the last thing I wanted to do. But it was too late now. They would be probably on their way to their honeymoon. I felt my stomach turn at that thought. She would be a vampire soon no doubt. My eyes closed with thinking of her heart stopping and placed my hand over my own. Her heart beating was the one thing I wanted to hear for the rest of my life. How could she just be so sure of that choice? She wanted to live another life before she had even lived this one.

Skyla walked in the room and plopped down beside me, crossing her legs. She wore black knee high boots, a cream tee shirt and short shorts. "You need a Friday night out Jacob," she said cheerfully.

I smirked crookedly, turning my head towards her with my arms still resting on the back of the couch. I was trying to make light of things for both our sakes. "Sorry, Friday night missed me. It's Saturday."

She laughed sarcastically. "I think Saturday will work too. Come on, let's go." She stood up and offered me her hand to get up too. I stared at it for a moment with narrowed eyes and then held her gaze in question as I took it reluctantly, not really feeling like going anywhere other than my room to mope some more.

"Go where?" I asked, grabbing my jacket from the couch beside me. I pushed my arms through the sleeves and pulled the hood over my head.

Skyla smiled a devilishly crooked smile. "You'll see," she said oh so innocently.

I didn't like the sound of that. . . Over the past couple of weeks, I had learnt Skyla was pretty hard-core for a girl. She really did like to party, hard, and hard as she could. She wasn't worried about doing anything illegal either, which worried me greatly. She was worse than Paul. I would have hated to see them together. I shook my head. Just the thought of the trouble those two would get into made my heart beat faster.

"Oh, don't look so worried Jacob," she muttered playfully and bumped the side of my arm as she opened the door.

"Sure, sure," I murmured. _Easier said than done, _I thought, following her downstairs. I wondered where we were going and what kind of 'Friday night' she was talking about. Every time I heard Friday night back home, it was either a night to hang with friends down on the beach or cinema or hang out at home relaxing. I got a strong feeling the Friday night Skyla was talking about wasn't so tame. I didn't get why she called it a Friday night anyway. It was a Saturday night. . .

Following Skyla outside of the apartment building she turned the corner, making me turn confused. That wasn't the way to the club. My eyes narrowed. "That's not the way to club," I murmured, still following her still. She turned back with another sweet and innocent smile. "We're not going to the club."

"Oh." I stared down at my feet while walking and thinking what there was in this direction of New York. All I could think of was more clubs and a few shops plus some houses farther up. I started to think whatever Skyla was leading me to, couldn't be so bad after all.

It wasn't long until I started to see houses as we slowly passed them. We seemed to be in the middle of nowhere, then I heard the music and people cheering. Turning left where the road now led down a quiet street, I saw a huge house lit up with lights outside on the veranda and inside too. People danced wildly outside with drinks in their hands and neon paint over their faces. A few people were in the pool out front, others jumped in, making huge waves and splashes before getting out again. The music was so loud. It was even louder than what any club I had been to, had. I almost felt like I needed to cover my ears.

"What is this place?" I shouted.

Skyla walked closer to the place, smiling widely. She looked back over her shoulder to me. "Open house Jacob," she answered.

I didn't know how to react to that. I hadn't ever been to an open house before, but I had heard they were unpredictable and wild. "I don't know Skyla," I murmured as she rolled her eyes and grabbed my hand tightly, dragging me along with her. She sure was strong . . . for a _girl._

"Stop being such a pansy Jacob," she muttered. I had to scoff to myself after hearing that. _If only she knew_, I thought, smirking before wiping it off of my face and freely walking beside her now. I knew there wasn't going to be any way out of this 'Friday night' of hers, so I most as well try and enjoy it. Plus, how much different could an open house party be to a club? Then my brain started to answer me. No rules, no laws. Just partiers and music – and whatever else happened at open houses.

"Do you even know the owner of the house?" I asked, looking around the yard, near the pool. There was a DJ controlling the music on the veranda of the house, people cooking while dancing over the barque, and a table of drinks. I could tell by the bright colours and the scent of them, they were all alcohol.

Skyla scoffed at me and grabbed a handful of shots from the table. "Don't need to Jacob. Its open house, remember? It means you don't have to know _anyone _to come. You _just_ come." She threw the shots back and grabbed two more before I could stop her. I still didn't approve of her underage drinking, not that I was any example.

I looked over my shoulder at three people jumping into the pool, making a huge splash upon impact. Feeling a slightly nudge on my arm, I looked back to Skyla. She was smirking widely while handing one of the shots to me. "Now get over that Bella chick, drink up, get drunk and have fun will you?" she smiled.

"Werewolves can't get drunk, remember?"

Skyla rolled her eyes. "And remember I told you differ. We can. Now drink!"

I couldn't believe that had just come from a fifteen-year-old, even if she was a werewolf. I shook my head in disagreement but drank the shot anyway. I knew I could just have one and then act it out if I had to. Then I tasted the bitter sweetness of Wolfsbane. I choked back, clearing my throat as I shook my head. It tasted worse than lemons! "Why did you put Wolfsbane in it?" I half growled.

"You needed something to loosen up and forget about that Isa- whatever chick."

"Bella," I growled, looking around for water to wash the horrid taste out of my mouth. I was still wearing out the last time I got high with Wolfsbane, but it had to have almost been all gone out of my system anyway. I was thinking about Bella before we left and had been for half the day.

Mentally I shrugged my shoulders, starting to not care. I knew it was the Wolfsbane talking for me though. _How much did she put in my drink?_

I heard Skyla laugh slightly. "If you're looking for water, it's over there," she giggled.

I glared at where her finger pointed towards the pool and couldn't believe it. There was more than just one reason behind her spiking my drink. I tilted my head to the side, glaring at her from the corner of my eye. I shook my head as she giggled with her hand to her mouth.

Grabbing five shots and drank them to wash the Wolfsbane out of my mouth. One night of being reckless couldn't hurt, could it? After all, she was only trying to cheer me up. _Wolfsbane talking again_ _Jacob_. . . I thought.

Soon enough all my emotions were blank, there wasn't a thought of Bella in sight of in my head and I was actually enjoying the loud music and starting to have fun like I hadn't ever before. I felt every beat of the music running through my body as the bass was turned right up along with the volume. I knew it was by far too loud for my ears, but I didn't care. I didn't have a worry in the world.

The front yard quickly became over crowded with more and more people joining in. Now I knew why Paul did this so much. It felt great. I knew if dad ever found out about this I would never live it down, but with the way it was going and with what I had planned, I would never go back to La Push, and at the time, I couldn't really put my finger on why I left in the first place, let alone why I never wanted to go back again.

"How many shots does it take for us to get drunk?" I shouted, picking up another two. I could already feel a buzz in my head, but I didn't know if that was the Wolfsbane, shots or music.

"About thirty," Skyla shouted back.

I smirked crookedly. "The night's still young then," I said huskily, drinking another three. I was sure I was going to have a hangover so bad I didn't remember a thing from the night. I was just having too much fun to even worry about it.

Dancing through the crowd, I threw off my jacket and jumped into the almost now empty pool. The water was cold and made every muscle in my body aware and tense. I heard a loud scream from Skyla as she jumped in with me, sending a huge wave of water over my head and over the side of the pool. I laughed and splashed her back. The pool was already half empty from everyone else jumping in. It wouldn't be long until it was empty. I wondered what the owners of it thought.

I didn't know what came over me when I suddenly kissed her passionately. I pulled back with realizing what I had done and murmured sorry. I was definitely too high and drunk – and I hadn't even had thirty shots yet. Only twenty . . . something. . .

I got out of the pool and threw my shirt off, now feeling suddenly too hot to have it on. I grabbed my jacket from the pavement and pulled the hood on over my head again, leaving the front of it open. I went over to the table where there was a bowl of neon paint for everyone to use on themselves.

Dipping my finger into its coldness and pulling it back out again; I drew lines over my face and around my eyes in orange and green as Skyla joined me. She giggled devilishly and started to write something across my bare chest. I had no idea what she was writing until she was done and let me see.

I burst out laughing, coving up my shyness. In bright blue neon paint, she had written "Sex God" over my chest and stomach. I kept on laughing and shaking my head at her. There was no doubt about Skyla. She was one of a kind.

"How would you know?" I shouted over the music, starting to paint bright pink neon over her face, writing "Rock Chick 4 Life" on her cheek and then putting angel's wings beside the writing on neither side.

"I can just tell," she winked with a giggle.

"You're going to have me up for offensive painted skin," I laughed.

"You know it," she grinned.

Lights of red and blue abruptly started to flash around the yard. Looking towards the road, I saw the lights on top of a police car flashing and people disappearing. I took Skyla's hand as we made a run for it laughing – yeah I was definitely out to it to be laughing.

Somehow we ended up in a dark part Central Park, where the trees clouded in over our heads a bit. It seemed to be all the lights were out on this end of the park. There weren't any alight.

It was quiet. All I could hear was the sound of small animals and birds scurrying around the place. I laughed looking over to Skyla, seeing a big bottle in her hand. My jaw dropped with seeing it. "How did you get that?"

"Swiped it," she grinned proudly, drinking a few mouthfuls.

"Rum?" I questioned with my eye brow risen, before taking it off her and finishing what was left of it.

"I have no idea," she mumbled with a giggled.

God we were going to be in so much trouble if the cops found us, yet I still didn't care. Funny how responsible, worrying and caring Jacob went out the window so easily . . . It needed to happen more often I thought. Then just maybe I really could get over Bella. I shook my head at the thought of her and grabbed some of the Wolfsbane out of my pocket, dry swallowing it. I wasn't going to let the thoughts of her spoil my night. After all, I was sure she was having a good honeymoon night.

Thanks to the Rum, or whatever drink that I had just drank; I didn't even taste the sickliness of the Wolfsbane this time. Glancing at Skyla, I saw her jaw dropped almost to the ground. "What?" I murmured.

"Never seen you so willingly taking Wolfsbane, that's what," she answered.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Sick of caring, and worrying, that's why. Tonight, is nothing but fun," I winked, spotting a huge lake in front of us as we walked.

My jacket and wet jeans were clinging to my skin, driving me nuts with the heat of my body not helping anything. I quickly pulled off my jacket and left it behind as I started to run to for the lake. I took off my jeans and dove into the water. That was better.

Coming up to the surface, I spotted Skyla once again shocked. "Jacob Black you just streaked through the park!"

I laughed at that. I was a new person high and drunk. I didn't know if that was a good or bad thing when it came to this or thinking and moping about Bella. "Yup and now skinny dipping in the dark," I grinned. "Not the first time you know Skyla. Well it is around here I guess."

She grinned back at me with mischief in her eyes as she started to walk backwards. "Oh no you don't!" I started to shout, reading her like a book.

I took in a deep breath, going under the water as she started to take her jeans and top off while running towards the water. I knew I wasn't a fast enough swimmer to get out of her road in time. The water was dark down under. I started to feel claustrophobic again. It wouldn't have been hard to lose all direction from up and down. I felt the heavily impact of Skyla diving into the water and came up to the surface for a deep breath. My chest felt tight between the cold water and the claustrophobia. It helped when I looked up to the sky and saw the moon. It made me realize air was all around me and I could breathe without struggle.

Skyla splashed me while laughing. The cold water ran over me as I smirked and splashed her back. The neon paint on us must have been water proof. It was still shining on my face and torso like it was shining on Skyla's face.

We both stopped laughing as I heard a sound of a twig snapping. I looked around and felt my heart jump after seeing a police car pulled up and officers looking around the park, getting out of the car, heading towards us. Skyla was about to speak when I raised my index finger to my lips.

Quietly I swam over to the bank of the lake. Keeping low I got out and pulled on my jeans and jacket and threw Skyla her clothes too. I helped her out of the water as she dressed and stood up. Just as we were about to make a run for it, a light was shone on us. I kept my hood over my head so a shadow was cast over my face.

I wrapped my arm around Skyla's waist and started to run with her close to my body as the police shouted for us to stop. My heart was beating quickly and I knew if it wasn't for the Wolfsbane, my inner wolf would be pressuring me to take over so I could run faster. Pushing past trees and bushes, easily we lost them and got onto the road; just where our little club we usually went to was located.

Because the two of us were too drunk and high to even remember the police were on our tails, we headed inside instead of heading home like we should have. I hadn't even noticed my jacket was still unzipped and showing the neon text Skyla had painted on me until she tapped my peck and made me notice it. Usually, I would have been embarrassed by something like that happening, but I didn't care at all, because of the state I was in.

I zipped up my jacket and ordered five shots. I knew I _really _didn't need any more alcohol, but I was having too much fun to give it up now. I drank them down all at the same time as Skyla tapped on my shoulder.

"Your girlfriend is over there Jakey," she smirked, pointing to Kasey.

"She's not my girlfriend."

"Oh yeah I forgot. She's not your girlfriend, she's your fu-"

"Don't you say it," I said, cutting her off midsentence.

She eyes rolled at me. "Pansy," she murmured. "Why don't you go see her?"

"No way!" I said all too loudly. "She's obsessed with me."

Kasey had called me at least ten times over the past two days after our last encounter last week. I hadn't had time to call her back thanks to all the Bella moping and not really feeling like talking. Now I was just freaked out by her. She was really taking the fact of us being friends with benefits to the max. I started to think that was the reason behind why my inner wolf kept snarling at her whenever I was around her and not high on Wolfsbane. It knew before I did, that she was weird. But then again, she may have only been making sure I was okay. Then Kasey spotted me and started to come over as Skyla left. I really didn't want to be left alone with her.

I couldn't remember a thing after that. I touched my head as I awoke on my couch in my apartment while slowly sitting up. I groaned at the pain which pounded my head with just moving. What the hell had happened last night? I felt like I had been hit by a truck – and that said a lot when I had been broken by a vampire not so long ago, though I started to think been broken by a vampire felt better than being hit by a truck. Every muscle in my body was aching and hurting as I started to realize I was home. I couldn't even remember how I had come to get home.

Pictures of the rest of the night started to flash before my eyes. Kasey was somehow able to do what she wanted with me, again, though anything last night seemed like a good idea at the time . . . then Skyla and I danced on the tables before the barman noticed just how drunk we both were and order us to leave, before throwing us out – what the hell? That wasn't like me! Then the police were outside. I couldn't even remember how we had gotten away from them.

Slowly I opened my eyes and saw it was daylight. The sun coming in from the window beside my couch burned my eyes. I flopped back against the cushions, hurting my head again just by moving. "Freaking hell!" I shouted; covering my ears as my own voice hurt them. Why on earth did I do this to myself? I didn't think a hangover would be this bad!

"Morning Jacob," Skyla's voice sung chirpily as a bird.

"How did you get away with not having a hangover?" I complained croakily without moving.

"I'm used to it I guess," she muttered.

"Lucky. Ow." I moved to lie on my back, staring up at the ceiling with my hands on my forehead. That was the last time I did something like last night. How Skyla ever got used to it I would never know. "I think I know why you call it a Friday night anyway. It should only be done on a Friday as it takes all bloody weekend to recover from it!"

"Ding, ding, ding! Good puppy. You work it out all by your lonesome," Skyla giggled.

I snickered darkly at that. I was in no mood for dog jokes, from anyone. Slowly I moved to sit up. I glanced down at myself to see the neon paint still over my body. Just the colour of it affected my eyes and head.

I kept my hand over the side of my head, glancing up at her cooking in the kitchen while squinting my eyes, for the sun coming in the window. Slowly I stood and mumbled I was going to take a shower.

The neon paint took ages to wash off. At one point I thought it wouldn't ever leave my skin. My hand ran over the side of my neck and I found that bite mark Kasey had given me still wasn't healed. I checked the one on my peck and neither was it. I started to wonder if the Wolfsbane was affecting my healing abilities.

Once out of the shower, with a towel wrapped around myself, I went into my room and got a safety pin. I winced as I ran its tip down the side of my finger. A line of blood started to rise and overflow the edge of the small cut before it turned into a pink line and then into a white one before disappearing altogether. My eyes narrowed, confused. If my finger healed, why hadn't my neck and peck? It had been weeks since I had gotten those marks. It wasn't making any sense.

Shaking my head, I dried myself off and got dressed. I was feeling a little better, but not by much. I slowly stumbled into the living room and sat back on the couch while smelling something delicious cooking on the stove.

Thankfully the sun had gone by now and was covered by dark storm clouds rolling over. My emotional side was still numb from all the shots and Wolfsbane. I didn't have any thoughts of Bella at all. I couldn't even remember her. But deep down, I could feel something. Something was covered over. Just like a dead body buried. It was covered over, but would always be there.

Quietly, Skyla came over and sat beside me, placing a bowl of pasta in her lap as well as a bowl for me on the coffee table with a fork placed in the middle of it. There were bits and pieces of seafood mixed in with the pasta. It smelled good, but even better to my stomach. I hadn't eaten in hours and I was starving. Probably was half my problem with feeling so bad.

"Thanks," I murmured with a smile towards her.

It seemed to be food was what I had needed. I felt so much better after eating the pasta. It may have been a light meal, but it had filled a gap in my stomach for now. I sat back in the corner of the couch and turned the TV on, but turned the volume right down. The sound of it still hurt my head a little.

Skyla curled up in the corner of the couch, staying quiet while basically staring at the TV like she was glued. I glanced over at her, seeing she was a little pale. "Are you okay?" I murmured, moving over to her side.

She nodded with a slight smile lighting her lips. "Yeah, just tired," she answered, leaning into my side, resting her hand on my chest. My arms wrapped around her tightly. My hand lightly brushed along her wrist and before long, I felt Skyla fall asleep in my arms. Her heart beat lightly in sleep, but then all of a sudden I noticed it pick up in rate. I thought she may have been having a bad dream, until I lightly nudged her and didn't wake.

"Skyla," I murmured, running my hand down her wrist, but she didn't even stir slightly. "Skyla, wake up," I murmured and shook her shoulder, but she still didn't move. What was wrong with her? No one I knew having a bad dream could be that deeply asleep.

I took her wrist and checked her pulse. It was too fast, even if she had been running for hours. "Skyla, can you hear me?" I whispered, running my hand over her face. She was hot too. I shook my head not knowing what was going on with her as I pulled out my mobile phone and called for an ambulance. I knew I was taking a huge risk towards exposing ourselves by involving paramedics, but I had to do something for her.

* * *

><p>I wonder what is wrong with Skyla? You'll have to wait to find out ;) Thanks for all the wonderful reviews on the last chapter guys. Keep them coming in. It always makes me feel great to hear what you all think and to have your all support towards my writing and stories is an honour to me.<p>

Love ya all!

- Sky x


	7. Your Love Can Be My Drug

**Your Love Can Be My Drug**

_This Chapter was Inspired by Your Love is My Drug – Kesha_

I leaned back in my chair, staring up at the ceiling while hearing beeping of machines running around the hospital. My mind was deep in thought and worry. I didn't know what to think about what had happened to Skyla and what the cause had been. So easily I could have lost her there and then if I hadn't been with her. Why had she done such a stupid thing? She knew the risks she had been taking, and yet, she ignored them completely. But maybe that was the point of it all. Maybe she wanted everything to end.

I sighed deeply, shaking my head in my hands as I leaned over my knees. The last thing I needed right now was to have to worry about someone else apart from myself. I had too much crap to deal with in my life alone. I wasn't in the right frame of mind to look after Skyla too. How was it, whenever I ran from the bad stuff in my life, it found me again? I felt like I was a magnet for trouble. There was the trouble I made for myself and then the trouble which found me – that was the stuff I couldn't stand or handle alone.

Sensing Skyla was coming around I looked up and took her hand into mine. She shook her head slowly. "Jacob?" she mumbled, her eyes fluttering towards where I was sitting. All I could do was brush my thumb against the skin of her hand. I knew if I had spoken, all my thoughts and questions from the past twenty-four-hours would come flooding out. I wouldn't be able to stop myself.

Skyla's blue eyes locked on mine as she bit her lower lip nervously. I could sense she was contemplating about something – wondering if she should or shouldn't ask me about something. She could sense how tense and frustrated I was. I knew what her question was too, but I wasn't going to answer unless she asked me.

"W-what happened?" Skyla stuttered, croakily.

"You fainted in my arms. I thought you had gone to sleep, but your heart was racing and you were burning up."

She looked away and to the other side of the room, where an IV stand stood next to her bed. She knew the cause of everything that had happened. She could sense I knew too. The air in the room had become thick.

"Since when do you do Meth?" I murmured, glancing up at her face, seeing her eyes were now closed.

I watched her face as she thought out her answer. I felt like she was going to lie until I spoke again. "And don't tell me it's not Meth, its Wolfsbane, Skyla, because I know it's not. And I know it's not _just_ Meth and Wolfsbane your taking."

She looked me in the eye shocked. "How did you know?" she whispered quietly.

"I found it in your pocket after I called the ambulance. Why, why do you take it? You know the risks, even for us. I know you're smarter than this Skyla." I sat on the side of her bed, never taking my eyes off of her. She knew perfectly well what over doses could do, even to us with what had happened to her friend Trace.

"It's a break away from reality," she mumbled quietly, looking to the white tilted floor.

"That's what Wolfsbane does, so why take everything else?"

"Because, Wolfsbane doesn't work after you tried stronger stuff Jacob. It only works on the phasing. I hate thinking what I had with Trace is now gone Jake. I hate knowing and thinking about my childhood. I just want to forget it all."

I sighed looking away from her bed. I knew that feeling all too well and I was no example to her, but it still didn't make what either of us was doing right. I glanced up at Skyla, not sure what to say. "So you over dosed to finish it all?" I mumbled. "You know I wouldn't be able to take that if it ever happened Skyla. I'm not strong enough to lose you."

She shook her head. "No, that was an accident Jacob . . . but before I met you, it wouldn't have been. You're the best thing that has happened to me since Tracey. You've taken me out of that hell hole of a place and actually gave me everything I've ever wanted in my life. I just . . . I just wish the memories would go away too." She stared down at the white blankets of the bed and her hands resting in her lap, looking like she was deep in thought. "You know I like you Jacob, and, I probably wouldn't even still be here if it wasn't for you. Things were getting too much for me to handle alone when you came into my life."

I bit my lip, breathing into the back of my hand which was crossed over the other as my elbows rested on the side of her bed. I knew Skyla had a crush on me. I had sensed it from the start, but I hadn't realised how much she hated her life until now. I wished I could have changed her past for her and made those memories go away. They had to be worse than what I was putting up with because of Bella, and if that were so, I understood what she was saying all too easily. I hated being sober and clean, and thinking about Bella. It was like everywhere I went, memories of her followed me – memories I loved, hated, despised and cherished, but now, in the end, they all just hurt and I didn't want any of them. I thought maybe it would have been better if I hadn't ever met Bella. Then maybe, I wouldn't have this problem.

I didn't know how to answer Skyla. I knew all too well how it felt to like and love someone who didn't care for you back, and I didn't want to put her through it. I wasn't ready for what she felt for me either though. There was no way, any time soon would I feel ready to even try and love someone else in my life. I didn't think I ever would though, and it would suit me fine if it stayed that way too. No, I didn't think I would ever find anyone else who I'd love like I loved Bella. She just seemed like she was _the_ one for me.

"You've got to know I don't feel anything other than friendship for you Skyla. And, that's how I want it to stay." I held her gaze, hoping she wouldn't take it the wrong way.

She nodded without any sign of disappointment or hurt, which I was grateful for. I didn't want to hurt her or put her through anything I had gone through. She had had enough pain in her life already without my adding to it. "I know, and I understand that Jacob. As long as you're in my life . . . that is all I'll ever need." A light smile crossed her lips after speaking.

I smiled back and stood up, pulling the blankets over her. "Get some rest."

"But I want to go home."

"The doctor said they're keeping you in here for a week to make sure you're okay. You're lucky your heart didn't give out it was racing so hard."

"I don't wana stay in here! I hate hospitals Jacob!" Skyla whined.

"I'll be here, but I'm not letting you go home til they say it is okay."

"Meanie," she huffed and pouted with her arms crossed over her chest, glaring at me sitting in the chair. I had to try and stop myself from smirking or laughing. She looked so innocent, like a toddler throwing a hissy fit over not getting their way.

"Don't laugh at me Black," she murmured, trying to act tough. I couldn't help myself. Her just saying don't laugh made me want to laugh even more. I had to admit it; Skyla was cute when she was mad.

A snicker escaped me as I stood and headed for the door. "Um, I'm just getting some water," I mumbled, still holding back from laughing. I really didn't need water. I just needed to get out of the room before I burst out laughing.

I was almost out the door, Skyla spoke and stopped me. "Here, you forgot your water bottle," she said bitterly. I turned around and copped a face-full of water being thrown at me, including my water bottle. My hair, shirt and jeans were soaked. I blinked through the water which was dripping from my hair with my jaw dropped in shock. Skyla burst out laughing seeing my expression.

"Oh look, a drowned wolf," she laughed. "I warned you not to laugh at me Black. Look who's laughing now," she giggled.

I shook my head at her, not being able to find words to speak with or even know what to say if I had them. This was going to be one long weak ahead of me. I knew a bored, troubled werewolf wasn't a good mix. It only made trouble in the end.

And trouble, was what I got – an endless supply of it. All week Skyla either complained about having to stay in the hospital, or she pulled tricks on me, the doctors or nurses who came into her room. I had to admit though, hearing and seeing an air filled rubber glove been sat upon by a doctor was pretty funny when he jumped up half scared to death after it had blown up under him. It was hard for me not to laugh, but it was even harder to remain the look of innocents when the doctor thought it was I who had set him up with the trick.

I thought maybe they would let Skyla out sooner than they had. They said everything was fine with her. There had been no damage done by the overdose and she was back to acting her typical self. I was so glad when they doctors had said she was okay. Skyla meant so much to me, even just as a friend alone.

I was glad to get back home to our apartment by the end of the week, but Skyla was even happier. I had a hate for hospitals since my mum had died in a car crash when I was nine. Dad and I came to visit Rachel and Rebecca daily until they could come home two months later.

A descent night's sleep I was really looking forward to when we finally got back into my apartment building. I was so tired from sleeping in that small chair beside Skyla's bed for the full week. I didn't want to leave her and she didn't want me to leave either, so I stayed the whole time. I knew I wouldn't have been able to sleep in my own bed anyway. I would have been too worried about her to even tempt at sleeping.

It was early tonight they dismissed Skyla and allowed her to come home. We had just gotten into the apartment building when it started to rain. I had my window open in my room as I stared up at the ceiling, listening and smelling the rain. I loved its fresh scent and the sound of it falling outside on the balcony. I was sort of deep in thought and half asleep at the same time. My thoughts were once again on Bella. I hadn't thought of her much at all for the past week as I was too worried about Skyla.

I hadn't taken any Wolfsbane or even thought to, but now my worries were over with for now and I couldn't get Bella out of my head again. I took a deep breath and turned onto my side attempting to get some sleep before the pizza guy came with dinner. But restful sleep seemed to be by far the last thing my mind had in store for me.

The dream I had was sketchy and made no sense. Kasey was leaning over top of me when she suddenly bit my neck hard and Bella came into the room and screamed in fear. I pushed Kasey away from me and held Bella to my side protectively as Kasey started to hiss. Her eyes were fixed on a small cut on Bella's cheek I hadn't noticed. The way Kasey was acting confused me. I watched her with narrowed eyes, trying to think where I had seen this behaviour from before when she lunged towards where Bella and I were standing. I awoke gasping.

My whole body was dripping in sweat of fear from my dream. I was breathless and panting. That dream had been so surreal it could have been real. My body sure thought it was and I felt like it was too.

I ran my hands over my face, leaning over the side of my bed, staring down at the floor. Catching my breath, I kept repeating to myself, "It was just a dream. It was _just_ a dream." After a while I started to believe it and calm down. My heart was still racing though, along with my breath being shaky. I hated having dreams like that! I lay back, thinking about my dream for a while, just trying to make sense of it.

It was still raining outside. I turned onto my side, staring out my window and took deep breaths of the fresh rain air into my lungs, just trying to calm down. But it wasn't working. I sighed, sitting up and pulled open my side table's draw. Lifting up a pair of my jeans, I looked down upon the Wolfsbane. Why was I so weak that I needed this stuff? How had I come to allow myself to become so weak I needed it? It didn't seem right. It wasn't like . . . me to become so weak and give in so easily. But I knew what I needed, and that was the Wolfsbane, whether I liked it or not!

Picking up the small stash wrapped tightly in plastic wrap, I took out three tables and swallowed them dry, taking a mouthful of water after them. I winced at their sickly flavour. I would never get used to that taste. I could already feel my body s_uccumbing_ to the drug. My emotions were becoming numb again, my body felt blank and emotionless. And already, my thoughts and feelings of Bella were disappearing.

I glanced up with sensing movement near my door and saw Skyla leaning against the wall. "Pizza is here," she murmured with a smile.

"Not hungry," I mumbled, sighing and throwing myself back against my mattress, staring up at the ceiling again.

"What's wrong Jacob?" Skyla whispered, walking over to my side slowly and with graceful steps before sitting on the side of my bed.

I didn't know how to answer her. I felt incapable of speaking my answer. Somehow, Skyla seemed to already know though. I guess we were closer than I thought.

"It's her, isn't it?" she mumbled, glancing down at the floor and then up to the lights of the city out my window as my eyes met her face. "Why don't you go and see Kasey? Maybe, she'll take you mind your off . . . things."

I slightly smiled at Skyla with her suggestion been said. How could she suggest I see Kasey, when she had feelings for me? She was strong, stronger than she gave herself credit for. I wouldn't have been able to say the very same thing to Bella. Never would I have been able to.

"I think Kasey is a little too obsessed with me, Skyla," I whispered, pulling a strand of her hair away from her face. Turning her head, she met my gaze and smiled shyly. "Finished with her already Jacob? I thought it would last longer than that." Her voice was teasing and playful. All I could do was chuckle and try and not let the heat and redness display on my face. I was glad the light of my room was pretty dim. Just maybe she couldn't see the redness in my face. "Maybe," I admitted. "She found me anyway. It's not like she's a real friend who I have to care about."

"What are you saying Jacob?" she whispered, looking into my eyes, like she was searching for something. To be fully and perfectly honest, I really didn't know what I was trying to say, because it was coming out all wrong.

I sat up quickly, deciding to let my body talk instead. I held Skyla's bright blue eyes as she looked back into mine, wondering what I was thinking and doing. She half gasped, half whimpered as my lips touched hers and wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me to her more.

I couldn't help but be hesitant. This was different to being with Kasey. Kasey was just someone who had found me in the street, and had somehow made me lose all control of myself. Skyla on the other hand, she was my friend, my best and only friend who I had right now. I couldn't be without her. I didn't want a relationship like this to stuff things up between us. I didn't want to lead her on, making her think I had changed my mind and feelings for her, cause I hadn't and never would. This was just for fun. She knew that, right? I had to keep Skyla in mind this time, not just myself. It was hard to even remember she was just fifteen when she looked and acted more like an eighteen year old, just like I did. People treated me more like an adult than a kid, and at times I couldn't handle it.

"You know this is just for fun, right?" I murmured breathlessly against her mouth as she pulled me so I was leaning over her, holding her gaze. "This isn't anything but fun," I added, making my intentions clear.

Skyla nodded, still holding my gaze as a dark smile lit her face and eyes. "We both know neither of us are strangers to this game Jacob," she whispered into my ear with a deep and seductive tone.

I grinned back at the way she looked at me so devilish while biting down on her index finger. I growled out of habit, crushing my lips to hers in lustful kiss like no other I had experienced before. Her arms wrapped around my neck tightly again before breaking the kiss and pulling my shirt over my head and letting it drop to the floor.

Her eyes were dark as she grinned crookedly. I could see and sense just how much she wanted me. "This was what I wanted to do that night I pulled you out of the club and pinned you against the wall, Jacob Black," she whispered, making me grin crookedly. Leaning down I whispered in her ear, "I know, it's what I wanted too, but you were just a stranger. Look how time has changed things," I smirked.

Once, I wouldn't have even thought of doing something like this with a friend. I guess the whole situation with Bella had changed me more than just one way. I was cunning, carefree – a typical teenage boy who didn't care about right from wrong or wrong from right. Rules went out the window now. My friends and family wouldn't even know me for who I was now. Turning wolf had taken _most_ of my shyness away. Losing Bella had turned me careless and bold. The only thing I cared about now was Skyla.

She smirked at my words, running her hands over my chest and stomach slowly. I moaned under her soft touch.

"Big bad wolf," she whispered into my ear, running her hand over my shoulder before grabbing me through my jeans and making me jump and growl. Skyla giggled at my reaction and bit her lower lip innocently. I shook my head at her while smirking. For a girl, she could be really rough – and people thought my thoughts alone were bad and explicit.

Pulling her shirt over her head, I let it fall to the ground alongside of my own. My lips brushed along the length of her neck, nipping at her skin and making her shudder and moan against my touch. Skyla's hands ran along the length of my torso slowly as I kissed her back. Her fingers slowly and lightly brushing against my nipples and pecks. Her fingers traced the muscles of my arms, shoulders, neck and pecks, abs and hips. Her skin was so smooth and soft. I loved her touch. It was like a feather.

Her hand ran along my ribs, down to my hip and to the small of my back. Her arm was wrapped around my waist, pulling my weight down on her as she arched her back against my body. I moaned at the contact through our jeans. She was driving me crazy in want and need.

The Wolfsbane may have been still working on my body and in my system, but it hadn't quieted down my inner wolf this time. He was wide awake and fighting the Wolfsbane while trying to take over my thoughts and actions. But he was losing. I had the stronger will, most of the time.

I instantly shuddered with feeling Skyla's hand brush against the skin above my belt as she started to undo it quickly and pull it from being wrapped around my jeans. Her fingers caressed over my zipper and button. She was such a tease! Her arm was wrapped around my shoulder when she glanced up at my eyes. She was smirking confidently and darkly, holding my gaze as she pulled at the helm of my jeans, forcing it to unbutton itself. It was clear she had done this by far too many times before to know that trick.

I growled in frustration, pulling her jeans off, not even bothering with the button or zipper. Skyla looked into my eyes, looking as though she was slightly surprised by my actions. I just smirked. "You're not the only one who has tricks," I grinned proudly, kissing her neck while listening to her moans against my shoulder. The skin on skin contact was becoming too much for me to handle. Heat against heat, something I hadn't felt before. Straddling my lap, my eyes closed at the friction between us as I pushed into her quickly. I would have taken my time if this was her first time, but we both knew better than to think that. Feeling Skyla's nails digging into my back made me want more. I loved the feeling of the pleasurable pain it caused and I didn't understand why that was. I sometimes wondered if I was too young to understand most of the things I was feeling within that moment. But even if that were true, it didn't stop me from appreciating the things I felt.

Leaning closer to her, I took one pink bud into my mouth and flicked it with my tongue as I rocked into her hard and fast. We were already so close. I guess that was the difference between humans and wolves and vampires. We didn't have to be careful with our kind. We weren't so breakable and we healed fast. There was no need to take it easy or slow like I had to with Kasey because she was human, or would have had to if that time had come for Bella and I to be together.

I shook my head, feeling the Wolfsbane already wearing off me. I knew I hadn't taken enough for it to work long, but I didn't think it would start to wear after such little time. I guess I had burnt it off with my dream and the physical movement with Skyla. I wondered if it worked that way or not.

Arching her back and wrapping her legs around my waist, I growled, feeling myself going deeper within her as sweat dripped down from my forehead. My eyes were closed, but they felt like they were open. Lights flashed and zipped around me like glow sticks. Was it the Wolfsbane causing me to see this? I hadn't had it happen before. They disappeared the second my eyes reopened. _Maybe it was my mind playing tricks on me_, I thought.

"Harder Jacob! I'm so close," Skyla whimpered, digging her fingers into my shoulder blades. One thrust and we both came so hard it hurt, but still felt so good. I was panting hard, trying to catch my breath. I wrapped my arms around Skyla, keeping her close to my side. She smiled up at me, resting her hands on my chest.

"That felt so good Jake," she whispered, leaning her head into my side.

I smiled back down at her, pressing a kiss on her forehead. "Thanks for that too. You made me feel better about the whole, Bella thing."

Skyla giggled, leaning over my body to look me in the eye. "_You _did us _both _a favour, not just me. It was _our_ choice, remember?" She leaned back down into my arms. "Besides, your love could be my drug any day."

I smiled at her words, running my hand slowly down Skyla's face as we both fell asleep. I still really didn't believe in friends with benefits, but if that's what we remained to be for the rest of our lives, and if it kept Skyla off the drugs, I'd do it. Plus, the idea was starting to grow on me. I thought it might have been the fact dad had brought me up to know better than to do the things I was, which were stopping me from just accepting it and moving on. I was slowly starting to forget all about my real home and call New York City home. I had what felt like family and friend in Skyla.

It was only a week later Skyla and I went out to our usual club for a bit of fun – though not so extensive to the point of our 'Friday Night' we had done two weeks ago. I hadn't let Skyla out of the apartment much, just to make sure she was okay and fully recovered. I felt almost paranoid to leave her alone, but I knew I couldn't be with her twenty-four-seven forever.

It was nice to hear the loud music of the club again, and see its bright lights flashing around the room. The beat of the music flowed through me as I went past people in the large crowd. Skyla didn't stray from my side much. She followed me over to the bar as we both ordered a drink each and sat listening to the music. Tonight was only about the music and a drink or two, just getting out of the building and doing something outside the norm.

While watching the singers and listening to the music they sang, I we quickly learnt it was singer's night, which meant anyone who wanted to sing a song could get up on stage and do so. They were asking for one more person to sing for the night and Skyla was pushing me to get up and do it, but there was no way I was going to. I had no voice for singing. That was for sure!

"Fine then," Skyla said with a smile. "I'll do it. I usually do anyway." Jumping off of the bar stool, she made her way over to the stage, basically skipping as she went. I smiled crookedly while watching her and took a sip of my drink, thinking this should be interesting to see. I hadn't seen Skyla sing on stage before.

With her reaching the stage, I noticed someone had pulled up a chair beside me. I really wasn't taking any notice to them, until I heard her voice.

"You haven't called me back Jakey," Kasey whined like a kid. _Great, just the person I wanted to meet up,_ I thought, mentally rolling my eyes.

I took another sip of my drink, hoping it would maybe help with keeping me calm and cool. "Must have slipped my mind," I muttered quietly, watching as Skyla took the microphone from someone and started singing.

The song was I Love Rock n Roll by Britney Spears. I grinned with listening to the lyrics. I knew Skyla was thinking about us while singing. It was just like we had met basically. Skyla sounded just like Britney Spears actually. If I didn't know better, I would have sworn it was Britney singing the song. What amazed me the most though, was how Skyla moved her body so fluently to the music. It was like waves going through her torso as she moved. She smiled, seeing I was watching her and winked.

I eyed Kasey as her hand ran down my leg. I took the last mouthful from my glass and stood up. "Kasey," I said in a deep tone, making sure she knew I was dead serious. "What you and I had, it's done with," I whispered in her ear before walking over to the crowd in front of the stage, lifting Skyla down and onto the ground where I stood after she had finishing the song. She giggled as everyone clapped and went on dancing to the music now coming from a stereo system. I smiled down upon her proudly and kissed her cheek. "You did well. So you really thought I was seventeen when you saw me?"

"Thanks," she replied, blushing slightly. "Yup, I did."

I chuckled at her response, taking her hand into my own. "Come on, let's get home."

Looking slightly disappointed, she nodded and then smiled again back up at me. I led the way outside. On my way out, I glanced over where Kasey had been sitting. She was no longer there but with some other guy who looked quiet drunk off his heels. I should have known she would find a replacement soon enough. I scoffed to myself on my way outside with Skyla.

It was a nice cool night. The stars and moon were out and shining down upon the city of lights. There was a fresh and sweet scent to the air. It was a scent more like spring coming than winter. A cold breeze came up, blowing fall leaves around us while walking along the footpath.

"Hey you, girl," some guy shouted out from behind Skyla and I. I turned around as Skyla did and met eyes with him. He wore a thick green coat, a winter hat and dark glasses. I felt like I knew him and his voice, but I wasn't sure where from. Even the things he wore seem familiar. I could tell by just how much clothing he was wearing he was trouble. It wasn't cold enough for any human to be wearing a coat thick as his or a winter hat. And as for the dark glasses, that just told me he didn't want to be known or noticed. It was dark for crying out loud, and they weren't glasses of the blind. I had the very same thing to escape having to wear my hooded jacket a few weeks ago. He was a big, tall guy too. Buff without muscle though.

I glanced at Skyla, wondering if she knew him or not. She must have been able to read my expression as she shook her head. It was like we could hear each other's thoughts lately. We just knew what the other was thinking.

"You're Skyla Hopkins, right?" he said, looking down upon Skyla, acting as though I wasn't even there.

"Who wants to know?" she replied, a smart move when she didn't know the guy – though she probably shouldn't have been so cocky and smart with her tough guy – I mean girl – tone of voice and attitude.

"Come with me then." He grabbed wrist tightly and began to drag her along with him without saying another word. I could tell by the way he dragged her he didn't mean well. He wasn't even allowing her to walk on her know.

Skyla slapped as his hand, trying to get him to let go. "Let me go!" she shouted, hitting him the ribs, but he only laughed. That pissed me off.

"She said, let her go!" I growled. He just laughed again, turning around. "And who's going to make me? You? I think not," he laughed mockingly. My jaw clenched tight as I felt my eyes darken with aggression.

"Let. Her. Go," I ordered in my alpha tone, glaring him in the eye. I actually could sense his body tremble in fear, but something made him fight back and stand his ground again. He let go of Skyla's wrist and pushed her back.

I went to go to her side and see if she was okay when he pushed me back harshly with his hand hitting my chest. I snarled, staring him in the eye. If that was how he wanted it, that's how it was going to be.

My inner wolf snarled. It was wide awake and ready to take over at a seconds notice. I was fighting the heat rising in my spine. I wasn't used to having to control it lately. The Wolfsbane had taken care of that for me, but the past could of days I hadn't needed it. I had other things on my mind to distract me from Bella. She hadn't even come into my mind once.

"Jake, what are you doing?" Skyla whispered, standing back. I didn't respond to her question. My mind was too focused on the guy standing before my eyes. I hadn't even noticed the crowd which had formed to watch – what was it with this place and crowds? I was glad I had my jacket on and my hood pulled over my head still.

I suddenly realised who the guy was. He had been the one who I had knocked out when I had first came to New York and gotten arrested for. I smirked crookedly. "Back for round two huh?" I smirked confidently. I had taken him out once, I could do it again.

Through his glasses I could see shock and fear arise in his eyes as he took a punch at my jaw and missed. As I dodged his punch, he went to wrap his arms around my waist as I pushed him back a step or two. Even with all my strength, he hadn't moved him much. The guy was big enough to be professional fighter you saw on TV.

"Okay, okay, break it up!" I heard a lady say and then saw a police woman with long, blonde hair walking through the crowd with her hands up, trying to get the crowd to move and quieten as she made her way over to us. While I was stupidly distracted, the big guy took his chance to hit me hard in the jaw, knocking me back but not down. I heard Skyla gasp with worry as I shook my head and automatically hit him back in the jaw, knocking him down. He went to get up and have another go at me when the police arrested both of us. I couldn't believe this was happening again!

I glanced over at Skyla, looking worried as all hell. "Just go home. I'll see you later," I murmured, only loud enough for her to hear. She nodded and mouthed an okay.

The police woman asked if I was armed and padded over my pockets before opening the car door and sitting me inside before closing the door and went over to the other officers to help them with putting the big guy into the car parked up the street. He wasn't as co-operative as I had been. I sighed knowing if I was going to make an escape, now was the time. But with so many people around, it was going to be too hard to escape and not be seen or re-caught. The plan which was going around in my head was to break the hand cuffs, run for it and then phase, but I couldn't do that with people everywhere. I would just have to wait until they took me to the station and hope they let me go or I would find some way to escape then. It was times like this I hated having an I.D in my pocket – even a fake one at that.

I hoped Skyla had gotten home okay. I knew she could have fought for herself, but it just didn't seem right for me to just sit back and watch. I stared out the window, watching the lights of the city pass by in silence. The only sound in the car I could hear was the radio going off every few minutes, with officers talking to others.

"You're awfully quiet for a kid," the woman said. I looked up from playing with the threads of my jeans and suddenly noticed she had a partner sitting in the passenger's seat. I couldn't see his face though.

"What's there to say?" I mumbled.

"That you're innocent? What happened? Pleading your innocents?"

I smirked crookedly, looking down to where I had been picking my jeans. "I'm not one for pleading."

"This is a casual thing for you then?" I could feel her eyes on me through the mirror view.

"No. Second time around," I answered in a low tone.

"What did you get arrested for last time?" her partner suddenly asked, glancing at me in the mirror. His eyes were a dark blue with short black hair under his hat.

"Fighting that very same guy," I replied, eyeing them warily from the corner of my eye. Even in the dark I could see them like it was the light of day.

"So you two have a history together?" the woman asked this time. "He's got something on you?"

I wasn't so sure how to answer her questions this time. If I said too much I could easily end up in even more trouble than I already was in. "History of two meetings I guess. I stole a jacket he and his friends had only just stolen."

Her partner laughed. "The robbers were robbed. Don't hear that every day."

I smirked crookedly, watching him from the corner of my eye. I guess it was pretty funny if you thought about it. They had deserved it anyway.

"And this time, what happened?" the woman asked.

"He asked my friend her name and when she didn't answer him, he grabbed her and started dragging her away. I told him to let her go and he didn't at first and then once he did, I went to go over to her and make sure she was okay, when he shoved me back and tried to punch me in the jaw."

From the corner of my eye, I could see both of them looking at each other. I sensed their sudden emotion of alarm. I started to think it had been something I had said, but I didn't think I had said anything wrong at all.

The guy looked over his shoulder towards me as the woman kept on driving. "Did you know that guy has a history of robbery and abuse, and a possibly rape?" he asked, making my heart pick up speed.

"No. I don't know anything about him," I answered, trying not to think about what may have happened to Skyla if I hadn't been there. I had to keep reminding myself she could have taken care of him on her own. She hadn't needed my help in the first place. It was the only thing which eased my mind a little.

"You may have just saved your friend's life kid," he said with a smile. I nodded, still feeling uneasy. I started to wonder how he wasn't already in prison if he was such a bad guy.

The car stopped. I looked up and saw the police station just in front of the car. What was I going to do now? I was in the middle of the city and the car was stopped. It wasn't like I could just jump out of the car and run off like I did last time; and there were still too many people around to phase and make a run for it.

"So, I'm getting let go, right?" I murmured as the guy opened the car door and helped me out.

"After some questioning, most likely," he answered. "Where are your parents?"

"Um, they're out of town," I lied, walking into the station. The lights inside were a bright white after being in the dark outside. There was a dark brown wooden desk in the middle of the room with a black office chair behind it. The carpet was black with white walls.

"So what's your name kid?" the guy asked as the woman went over to the computer sitting on the desk and sat down in front of it.

"Um, Jake," I mumbled, looking down to the floor, trying to hide my face the best I could in the bright lightning.

I could see the guy was smiling now. It put me on edge. "You're not from around here, are you Jake? I mean, it is quite obvious."

_It was? _I kept looking down and stayed quiet for a moment. "No, I'm not. We just moved here," I half lied this time.

"Mmmhmm." He didn't seem too convinced. "So where are you from?"

I tried to think of a place far away from home but still had some country to live in. I wondered if that was what gave me away - the typical quiet country boy act. My brain froze under pressure. "Ohio," I lied again. The guy just laughed once more and glanced down at the computer the woman was looking at. What were they doing?

"One-eight-two, fifth file," she whispered quietly to him. He nodded and stood up, opening a door to a small room connecting to the main. As the door opened, all I could see was filing cabinets inside.

After a couple of minutes, the woman shouted out to him, asking if he had found something or not. Answering with a no, she rolled her eyes and went into the other room too. They started to whisper then. I could hear they're every word.

"He looks like that kid from La Push, don't you think?" the guy asked in a soft tone. My heart started to race again. "Sixteen, Quileute, brown eyes, black cropped hair, copper- russet skin, five-foot-ten-and-a-half, and a tattoo on his right upper arm," he read.

I had heard enough to know it was time to get out of there unless I wanted to return home. Quietly, I broke the hand cuffs from around my wrists and headed over towards the door. Opening it, he shouted out, "Hey Jake, you got any I.D on you? And do you mind taking that jacket off?" I didn't answer. I just ran for it as fast as I could – running, it felt all too familiar. I headed for the streets and buildings in front of the police station and then headed towards by apartment. People stared at me as I passed them still running. I never thought my jacket would have saved me like it had today.

The very second they had seen my tattoo they would have known who I was. Obviously it hadn't helped that much with hiding my face, but at least they couldn't tell what my hair colour or style was.

I couldn't say running down the streets of New York hadn't drawn attention to myself either. I must have bumped into at least three people on the way back to my apartment. Once in the building, I calmed down a little and walked quickly towards the stairs, trying to avoid anyone else.

I was so glad once I was inside my apartment and behind a locked door. I leaned up against it for support while catching my breath from running for the past hour. Skyla walked down the hall and saw me leaning against the door. She looked so worried and relieved at the same time.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" she gasped, running over to my side and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I murmured breathlessly, hugging her back.

"What happened?"

"I just went to the station and I don't know, I guess they were searching missing persons reports or something, but I heard them whispering about a kid missing from La Push and got the hell out of there."

Skyla's eyes went wide. "You?" she almost shouted.

"Yeah, I guess so. The description he read out sounded like me, especially the tattoo. There aren't any packs or people around La Push with a tattoo, so it would have to be me."

"I'm just so glad you're here and okay," she whispered into my neck.

"You have no idea how I feel the same towards you," I murmured back, shifting Skyla's emotions to confusion. She pulled back and looked me in the eye. "What do you mean?"

I sighed, glancing down at the floor and then back up to her. "That guy back at the club, he's got a history of robbery, abuse and maybe rape. They told me that on the way to the police station."

"I could have done just what you did Jacob. I would have been okay."

"I know, but, I just so worried about you, you know?" I smiled softly, running my hand down the side of Skyla's face face. She nodded and hung her head slightly before meeting my gaze again. I pressed my lips to hers I rewrapped my arms around her shoulder's again. "You're my best friend. I don't want anything to happen to you."

"I froze Jake. I didn't know what to do," she whispered.

"It's okay now. Don't worry about it," I whispered back, smiling and looking into her eyes. A forced smile appeared on Skyla's face as she nodded. "Sorry I got you into trouble."

"Don't worry, you were worth it," I grinned, going over to the fridge to get something for dinner.

After having a dinner of sandwiches, it was once again raining outside and I decided to go out leech hunting. I felt tense and frustrated at the fact I had come so close to being caught and taken back home. I needed something to work out the frustration and I knew leech hunting would be the best way to do it. Once Skyla was asleep, I left.

Instead of going through the door, I went out through the fire escape knowing I would only draw attention to myself if I went through the building. It had to be around one or two in the morning and I knew I may not be back until dawn.

At times – when I was in the mood – I loved going out leech hunting in conditions like rain and storms. There was just something about it which made it feel all the more surreal and exciting.

Jumping from the last floor of the fire escape, I took off running through the city, just looking and listening for anything that may be leech. I made sure to keep my jacket's hood over my head spite the rain and wind's tempts to keep it off.

After hours of been in the rain, I didn't find anything leech, but more human. Walking down a street, heading back towards my apartment for the night, I started to hear a kid crying loudly. At first I thought it was just a kid arguing with their parents, but it didn't sound like they were inside, nor could I hear anyone else shouting or even speaking.

Running down an alley, the kid's cries became louder and so did a quiet, soft voice speaking. The crying led me into a dark alley, in a bad part of the city. It was quiet and most of the houses had broken windows and doors or were abandoned completely.

Peering around a dumpster, I saw a little girl around the age of seven with long blonde hair sitting in the corner of the alley in a mint green tee shirt crying her eyes out. She was terrified, cold and dripping wet. Her eyes were blue and her skin was a light creamy tan. She reminded me of a young version of Skyla.

"I want to go home," she cried at the man standing over top of her. He had a black rain coat on with its hood pulled over his head. The rain was coming down loudly. It was hard to hear what he was saying to her.

"Soon as your father pays the money kid," he spat in a threatening tone.

"Daddy doesn't have that sort of money! Leave him alone!" she cried loudly.

I couldn't get over the courage this girl had for her age. It was clear she was scared half to death of this guy and yet she was still sticking up for her father. She was braver than anyone I had ever known at that age.

"Quit the crying!" he shouted, covering his ears and going over to her. She leaned away in fear but couldn't go far as she sat in a corner between a chain fence and the brick of a tall building.

"Leave her alone and she will," I shouted through the rain. "Touch her and I promise you, it'll be the very last thing you do!"

The guy looked up and stood away from her. A flash of lightning showed his face under his raincoat's hood. He was an older man, around thirty or forty. His skin was wrinkled for his age – a druggy I guessed. His blue eyes were what made me think of him being a user. They were glassy and sensitive to the light of the lightning going over head.

"Stay out of this kid. I'm warning you. This has nothing to do with you."

My eyes went to the girl in the corner. She was scared by my presence and I couldn't blame her. She had been through a lot, I could tell.

"You've kidnapped her and broken the law. That makes it my business."

The guy laughed. "Oh, and what are you, some kind of vigilante or something?"

I smirked. "Protector more like it. You really do not want to know any more about me. Now take the gun out of your pocket and place it on the ground." I could smell the scent of old gun smoke and see the outline of a gun in his pocket. I sensed shock coming from him once he had heard me.

He slowly pulled the gun out of his pocket and aimed it in my direction instead of doing as I had said. I noticed his hand was shaking now.

My eyes narrowed. "Try it. Won't do anything to me," I said out of fact. Seeing his gun made me aware it was nothing threatening to my body. It was an old gun and wasn't even made anymore. Thanks to Paul having a love of weapons, I knew what I was up against.

Slowly I walked towards him casually. I pushed my hood off of my head so he and the little girl could see my face. I hoped with her being able to see my age she may just relax a little and wouldn't be so afraid. Maybe she could trust someone younger like myself?

He aimed the gun at my chest and fired but my reflexes were too fast with being half wolf. I jumped and landed just in front of him. "Missed me," I smirked and hit him hard in the jaw, knocking him to the ground. He was out cold, but wouldn't be for too long.

I quickly ran over to where the little girl was still sitting. She shivered back away from me in fear, but not like she had the first time she had seen me. "Hey, it's going to be okay. I want to help you. What's your name?"

"A-Ashley," she stuttered, keeping her arms wrapped around herself tightly, just trying to keep warm. She was shivering hard.

"Ashley, my name's Jacob. I won't hurt you I promise. I want to get you home to your parents. Do you trust me?" I smiled softly and held my hand out to her. She smiled back sheepishly and went to touch my hand but abruptly crawled back against the brick wall. "Jacob, behind you," she whispered.

My eyes narrowed as her words sunk into my head. Just as I glanced over my shoulder, I saw the shadow of the guy standing over me and heard the sound of the gun firing again. I winced at the pain in my shoulder. I could feel the wound already healing though. I tried my best to cover up the pain I was feeling so I didn't scare Ashley. She was already looking even more so scared now than before.

"Didn't your parents ever teach you not to trust strangers' kid?" the guy snickered darkly.

"Didn't yours teach you to never upset a werewolf?" I growled towards him in a murmur. I could feel my eyes were darker now from the anger I felt. My whole body was shaking hard. I was barely in control of the shaking and heat rising in my back.

He stood back, trying to fight the fear he felt from showing over his body. He watched me closely as I eyed him. He was on the verge of cracking I could feel it. He was starting to believe I was different like I had said. Shooting me in the shoulder had just proved it. A human wouldn't be able to handle the pain I felt without showing some kind of discomfort.

"What are you?" he whispered, narrowing his eyes and shaking his head ever so slightly, holding my gaze.

"You already know what I am. I told you, whether you choose to believe it or not it up to you, but I suggest you drop that gun before you're a goner."

His body started to shake now. He was scared as hell. Slowly he leaned towards the ground and placed the gun on the wet ground, never breaking his gaze from my own. "Turn around," I growled, grabbing a chain that hanging over the fence and pulled his wrists together. I could hear his heart racing while I tied his hands together and wrapped the chains around his waist so there was no way he could use his hands.

"Touch her, or anyone else again, and I swear it will be the last thing you ever do," I whispered into his ear huskily. He had held his breath as I spoke. I pushed him into the opposite corner Ashley was sitting in.

I calmed myself down enough to go over to her without shaking. "Are you okay?" I whispered, leaning down to her level.

She nodded and glanced over to the guy still watching us and then back to me again. "Y-yeah, I'm fine," she stuttered from being cold and fearful.

"It's going to be okay now Ashley," I said in a gentle tone, picking her up into my arms. "You're so cold. You need to be seen by a doctor."

Her arms wrapped around my neck as she leaned into my chest. I unzipped my jacket so it came around her and shielded most of the cold from her little body. She had to have hypothermia for how cold she felt against my body and being dressed in summer clothes out in this weather. I turned back around towards the guy. Just meeting his gaze made him shiver back against the gate and brick as far as he could go.

"Now you know how she feels," I said to him. "Cold, wet, scared and not knowing what will happen next." I leaned over and picked up the gun. His eyes closed tightly as I took it into my hand and fired the last shot into the air before breaking the thing in my one free hand and tossed it into the garbage bin.

I slowly walked out of the alley with Ashley still in my arms and started to run in the direction of the hospital. My original plan was just to get her to her parents, but now, she needed medical attention. She was too cold and I thought her heart beat was slightly too slow. If only I had my phone with me I could have called the police and ambulance.

Thanks to Skyla over dosing herself the other week, I knew where the hospital was. I kept running as fast as I could until I reached it. Just by the look of the two of us, two nurses came running and checked out Ashley right away and got a bed for her. I simply told them I had found her in a street, alone and wet with some creep watching over her and he ran soon as he saw me. They seemed to believe it too.

I went and sat by her bed in case she woke up afraid and alone until the police and her parents came, then I left without being seen. On the way out, I could hear Ashley speaking to the police and her parents about my being a werewolf, but of course, they didn't believe her because of the hypothermia. They thought she had been delusional.

After leaving the hospital, I went down to the police station and brought attention to myself by yelling out "Hey, you looking for me?" Two officers had heard me and started to take chase. I led them towards where the guy was still sitting in the corner where I had left him. Just seeing my shadow made him back up against the chained fenced behind him as much as he could. I ran up the fire escape before the police saw me and stayed at the top of the building, watching them and staying out of sight.

When they came down the alley, the guy started to beg them to be taken away and put somewhere safe. He was just so thankful they had found him and not I this time. I laughed to myself as they dragged him away down to the police station. I could hear them mumbling something about how I had tricked them into finding him and not myself. They knew who he was from Ashley's story.

When I went home, it was dawn and Skyla was wondering where I had been all night and what had happened to my shoulder and jacket. I had completely forgotten about being shot. Pulling off my jacket, I checked my shoulder and it was almost fully healed. It looked like the bullet had completely gone through my shoulder without doing any bone damage. Couldn't stay the same about my shirt or jacket though.

That night, after getting some much needed rest, I went to see Ashley again when she parents weren't around. She was asleep when I got there but awoke soon after. She sat up in bed and ran the backs of her hands over her eyes. "Jacob?" she whispered.

"Hey Ash," I smiled.

"Why did you disappear last night? No one believes me what I tell them about you. They just think I was delusional or making something up about you cause I'm a kid."

"I know and please, don't try and make them believe you. I could get into so much trouble if they knew the truth Ashley. I shouldn't even be here right now."

She looked down to her blankets in the dim light of the hall's light shining into her room. "Okay. I understand," she smiled. "I won't tell Jacob."

"Thanks Ash. How you feeling now?" I asked while pulling up a chair.

"Fine. I can go home tomorrow." She didn't look so happy about that news though.

"But you don't want to go home though, do you?"

She shook her head and closed her eyes tightly. She was trying to hide her tears, I could tell.

"You're scared that man will come back? Cause he won't Ashley. He's with the police now and he's not going to get away with what he did to you."

She nodded again as I saw tears flowing down her cheeks. I sat beside her and wiped them away.

"You don't need to be scared now. It's over and done with, okay?" I whispered, forcing a smile upon my face to try and make her forget it all for now. I couldn't blame her for being so scared though. She was very brave and mature for her small age of seven.

"Okay," she said through sobs and wrapped her arms around my waist.

"Shh, it's okay Ashley. It's okay," I murmured, running my hand over her silky hair, trying to comfort her.

I started to hear the nurses talking about coming in and checking on her. I hated having to leave her but I knew I must. "Ashley, listen to me. I need you to be a strong girl now okay? I have to go, and I don't know if I'll see you again."

"I don't want you to leave again Jake," she whispered.

I smiled crookedly, looking down into her eyes as she stared up at me with glassy eyes from crying. "I have to Ash. But, we may see each other one day."

She nodded without saying a word. She stared across the room for a moment. "Thank you, for saving me Jacob. My father wouldn't have been able to afford the money they were asking for."

I couldn't believe those words had just came from her a child like her. There was something special about Ashley. I could just feel it. "Happy to have been able to help you Ashley," I smiled and hugged her back after she rewrapped her arms around my waist once more.

After a moment I pulled back and stood up. Ashley sighed deeply. "Goodbye Jacob," she murmured.

"Bye kido," I smiled crookedly, ruffing up her hair and walked out of the room.

* * *

><p>Hey guys,<p>

Sorry its taken so long to get this chapter up. I've been full on with other conmitments and things on my mind.

Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I have to say it was a lot of fun to write. Thank you for all of you who reviewed, favourited and added this story to your alerts. You never fail to amaze me with all your support! Keep it coming, I love seeing what you all have to say!

I should be able to update all my stories more often as now I am down two fictions. And also, if you love Jake and Bella together, check out my lemony one shot, Fire Melting Ice. It gets a little steamy. ;)

Love you all,

- Sky x


	8. Now The Party Is Over

**Now the Party is Over**

_This Chapter Was Inspired by, Hungover – Kesha _

_**Two Years Later**_

"So where is the money," I heard a male's voice speak outside of my apartment building. His voice was deep and threatening. I could tell by his faint scent he meant business. When I closed my eyes while lying on my bed, I could almost picture everything that was going on. The only thing I couldn't see; was who he was talking to. Until, I heard _her_ voice.

"I don't have it. I'll get it though."

My eyes flashed open as my body jolted forward hearing Skyla's voice.

"That's what you said the last time, kid" he responded with, his tone sly. How he spoke reminded me of how a snake would. It was slithery and made Goosebumps form for whoever didn't have strong nerves towards snakes.

The pattering of the rain hitting the roof outside was making it hard to hear their conversation clearly. I almost strained to listen. Though two years ago, I wouldn't have been able to hear this much. Two years ago, this conversation would have only been a muffle in the sound of the rain.

I went to the window of my room and pulled the window open. Effortlessly and silently, I jumped onto the next level of the fire escape. When I looked down, I could see Skyla and the guy she was talking to in the corner of the building. Skyla was closest to the fire escape below me. She was dressed in her usual flashy clothes: a black leather mini shirt, black knee-high-boots and a low cut tee shirt with some black printing on the front of it. The guy was all dressed in jackets and jumpers. One look between Skyla and him – or anyone in the city for that matter – and it was obvious she was different. It was winter and yet she was dress as though it was summer, out in the rain. I on the other hand was a _little_ more dressed for the season – a black tank top under my open hooded-jacket with some denim jeans and joggers on.

The rain dripped down onto my jacket while watching them below, staying unnoticed for now. I watched the guy's every move. He took one step towards Skyla as she took one back.

"This cannot keep going on Sage," he said, speaking Skyla's first name. "You know not to mess with people like us, like this. Maybe I should teach you a lesson so you won't forget next time."

I growled at that comment and jumped down from the fire escape so I was standing in front of her protectively. Instantly he took a few steps back, shaken by my sudden appearance.

"Where did you come from?" he demanded.

"Jacob," Skyla murmured so quietly only I could have heard her. I turned my head slightly and gave her a small smirk of confidents. I sensed she was a little worried. She shouldn't have been though. She was a werewolf like me. She could handle this guy so easily if she wanted.

I had to remember though, Skyla still didn't trust herself with phasing, nor did she want to a wolf. She hated it and just wanted to be as normal as possible. So I guess with wanting to be normal, would come with been a vulnerable girl. I didn't mind though. I liked protecting my best friend. I was _very_ protective of Skyla. You messed with her, you dealt with me!

My head turned back to the guy. He glared at me in wonder. My head tilted to the side as I stared him in the eye from under the hood of my jacket. "I think you should leave. Consider that a warning," I said sternly in a deep tone, turning my back towards the building. I stopped when I heard him speak again.

"I want my money!"

I scoffed at his words. "And you'll get it, sooner or later."

"I want it now!" he ordered and took two steps towards where I stood, holding my gaze. A crooked smirk formed over the side of my mouth, sensing he was kind of intimidated by my presence, but he was acting brave.

My eyes dropped from his face to where his right hand slowly slipping into his pocket. "Drop the knife," I ordered in a soft tone of warning, taking my gaze back to his face. I could smell the rusted steal in his pocket. I had thought it was the steal of the fire escape I could smell until I could sense his intentions.

I smirked seeing the guy's eyes turn wide with the fear he had been hiding. He didn't obey my order though. His hand swiftly pulled what looked more like a rubber knife, out of his dark brown trench coat. His hand was shaking as he gripped it tightly. My eyes narrowed at it while pushing Skyla behind my back.

He glared at my face in utter shock I hadn't even flinched at the weapon's appearance. I took a step towards him and he took one back each time I stepped forward until he was pinned against the wall of the apartment building. I took the rusted blade between my index and middle finger as he continued to hold it. Without effort, I bent it in half.

His hand began to shake so hard he couldn't hold the bent up knife anymore. It dropped to the ground in a clang. Staring him in the eye, I said, "That was your final warning. Come here again and you'll know how that knife feels."

With that, I turned my back and walked towards Skyla. My arm wrapped around her as I started to walk back the fire escape of the apartment building and back into my room. As she got back inside, I looked out my window to see the same guy running for his life. I smirked crookedly, knowing we had both seen the last of him.

I pulled my wet jacket off of my arms and threw it onto my bed before walking down the hall and into the lounge room, where I saw Skyla laying across the couch with her arms crossed over her chest.

"What is with you lately Jacob?" she questioned, eyeing me.

"What do you mean?"

"That? You're not threatening like that."

"He was basically threatening you Skyla. I won't put up with it and you know that . . . And for what? This junk?" I pulled the Wolfsbane and Meth out of the helm of her skirt and threw it onto the glass table beside the couch. "You need to get off of it. You know how bad that stuff is for you. I don't want to lose you Skyla."

I sighed sitting beside her with my hand to my forehead, eyes closed while taking in deep breaths. I felt Skyla's hand rest in the middle of my chest, pushing me back against the couch's seat. My eyes opened and held her gaze as she leaned over top of my body. I smiled slightly.

"You've changed from who I knew you as," she whispered.

"No. I haven't," I answered softly, cupping the side of her face. "That was just all a front. You know that."

It was true too – okay some of it was true. Over the past two years I had changed a bit. But I wasn't what I seemed to be – cocky, confident, cunning and sly. It was nothing but a front. I was really the opposite of that now, when I was alone. I used to be confident, but over the years with wanting to forget the pain of _her_ . . . I had lost that. I knew I had lost myself. I was shy, really. I didn't give a damn about anything. I faced danger in the face without a care in the world if I got out of it or not. I was only confident and cunning when it came to standing up for others like Skyla, and _that_ was my inner wolf talking ninety-percent of the time.

Over the years with drinking and the Wolfsbane, I was able to become numb and not think about Bella like I used to, even when I was clean and sober. Though deep down I knew why I wasn't the happy kid I used to be. The happy and confident Quileute werewolf from La Push. . . I was missing Bella. I thought I wasn't thinking about her, in the back of my mind, I really was. Danger was what took my mind off her years ago, and it still did now. Trouble, Wolfsbane, drinking and sex . . . those were the only things which took my mind completely off of her. Even thinking her name hurt.

Skyla asked me often why I seemed so sad and shy now. She thought at times I was over Bella. I just knew when I was sad and shy, I was thinking about her, 'cause when I wasn't those things, I was a little more myself. I never knew how to explain it to Skyla or anyone. It even sounded confusing and stupid in my own mind. I was sure if I even tried to explain it to someone they would send me to the nut house.

As depressing and hard as it had been over the past two years, some good had come out of it. My skills as a werewolf had sharpened greatly. At night I could stick to the shadows stay unseen until I wished to show myself. My sense of hearing had strengthened along with my strength and speed. Everything I needed to live undiscovered in this city I now owned. I can usually keep out of trouble with the human race now, until I want to intervene that is – like this morning, for an example.

Thanks to my new, stronger skills, I've gotten a reputation as a protector in the city, helping people with both the vampire and human kind. I'd be lying if I said the police didn't know who I was. They don't know who I truly am, though they do know I am on their side – most of the time. I watched out for people throughout the night if I'm not at the club partying with Skyla. I've found my hearing can almost stretch out over the whole city, and for what I can't hear, I sense.

I wondered if Sam's skills as an alpha were this strong? He didn't need to have watch his back all the time at home, and as they say, _what you need, you'll get_. New York was a dangerous place for someone like me. If I were to become exposed, I would be in more trouble than _any_ leech could ever give me in a million years.

Skyla stared up into my eyes and sighed, looking away. "I wish I knew how to make things better for you," she whispered, sitting up, holding my gaze while speaking. "I know _she's _the reason why you've changed Jacob."

"Forget it okay?" I whispered softly, placing a kiss on her cheek as my arms wrapped around Skyla's small body.

"You know I love you. You know I just can't forget it when you're so upset all the time. I'm not going to say get over it, 'cause I know it's impossible . . . but I don't know what else to say." Her head rested on my shoulder as I sat there for a moment in silence. I knew I had to get over Bella, but even with Skyla so close to me it worried me. I couldn't lose anyone else in my life, and because of that, I felt like I needed to shut out everyone. I didn't want to be hurt again. I knew at times I shut Skyla out, even when I knew I shouldn't. I couldn't help but wonder what would happen if Bella just showed up now and said she wanted to be with me. Would I allow her into my life like nothing had happened? I really didn't know. I still loved Bella with all my heart, even after all these years.

"Come on," I murmured, pulling away and smiling down on Sage. "Lets' go out. This place is boring."

Skyla smiled, giggled slightly and stood. I went and got my jacket from my room, pulling it over my arms and head. It was still raining outside, though neither of us cared. The rain was actually nice when I had my jacket on. I thought my body temperature had heightened too. I couldn't stand the things I used to when it came to the heat.

I sensed the lightning flash and the thunder sound before they came as we entered the club. Quickly I scanned the place, thinking I would maybe find Kasey one day, but each time I looked for her, I never found her. Ever since that day I had told her our _active_ friendship was over, I hadn't seen her, though for some reason, I felt like she was still around. It really didn't make any sense though. It seemed odd to me that she just gave up without a fight. I didn't think she was that type of girl. I thought she would at least have something to say about it. Though I probably wasn't the one and only guy she had a relationship with like we had. . .

Sitting in the dark corner of the club, leaning back in the chair, I stared up at the dark ceiling while listening to the music. My mind was basically blank, though it felt like I was still thinking. My knee bounced against the ground to the rhythm of the music. The lights flashed around the room like usual. It was the weekend but I really didn't care. I wasn't really feeling like getting high and drunk. Even when Skyla brought five of my favourite drinks over to the table where we were sitting and offered me one. I hadn't passed up a free drink since I had gotten to New York.

At first Skyla thought I was joking and placed the drink in front of me. She realised I wasn't when I pushed it away and stood. "I'm going to get some air, okay?"

Her blue eyes searched mine. "Sure. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just need some air."

Walking out of the club, I found it wasn't raining anymore. I leaned up against the wall structure and stared at the bright full moon. Clouds were in the night sky and slowly passed over the white light in the sky. Every now and then I would see a star sparkle in the sky. I had a strong urge to howl at the moon but pushed it back.

The door of the club kept opening and closing beside me. Flashes of coloured lights inside flickered over my side while I still listened to the music and allowed its strong beat to flow through my body. I was trying to distract myself from the things my mind wanted to think. The moon had reminded me of home. Of everything that I used to call home. I hadn't thought of home for years, because home was painful. Home was . . . hard.

I used to run upon a full moon with the guys while on patrol. We always howled at the full moon. It felt . . . good. We felt alive and free when we did it together. I missed my family, my friends and my sister. I missed the sweet sea-scented air of my homeland. I did want to go back, but I couldn't. They wouldn't accept me for running and the things I had done here in New York, especially dad. He would be so upset with everything I had done. I was an outsider now and always would remain to be.

I missed my old life though. The good healthy one . . . I did know and understand this life of hardcore rock and roll wasn't good for me. I hardly got sleep at night and when I did, I slept for hours on end. Half of it was because I didn't want to sleep for the nightmares I would have. So instead I made myself so tired I would be too tired to have dreams or nightmares and that suited me fine.

I let my foot rest against the wall I leaned on as my arms crossed over my chest while taking in deep breaths of the icy winter air. I could feel myself starting to shake slightly. I didn't need to get wound up as I wasn't used to controlling my inner wolf anymore. I was used to having Wolfsbane take care of it. God my life is messed up!

My fisted hand rammed into the wall beside me out of frustration. I winced upon impact. I could feel the cuts and scrapes on the side of my hand slowly healing. _Stupid!_ I yelled at myself mentally.

A guy walked out of the club then, glancing inside I saw Skyla dancing before the door closed again. I smiled slightly seeing her. I had all the support anyone would ever need in her, and yet it wasn't enough. _What was wrong with me?_ I had a friend, best friend and lover in Skyla. Why couldn't I just get over Bella and accept Skyla's love for more than just what we were? Skyla understood me better than anyone. She knew who I was and where I was coming from, and it wasn't enough. Why wasn't it? I had more in Skyla than I even had or ever had in Bella! Why couldn't I just get my feelings and mind straight! Bella and I were never going to happen! Bella was probably dead or a leech by now. And if Sam had ever found out the Cullens' had turned her, she would be dead now, even if she lived through the vampire changing process! Those thoughts gave a strong prang through my heart. It was just another reason why I had left. I didn't want to be around for when Sam gave the call to take out all the Cullens' for changing Bella. But it was true – she would be long gone by now – long gone dead or alive. She wouldn't still be living in Forks.

There was no reason behind why I couldn't go home now, though I still had to think about Skyla. I didn't know if she would come with me or not. She had her life here, and then if I were to go home without her and they didn't accept me, if I came back here, maybe I wouldn't be accepted back here either with Skyla.

_At least I know where I stand here_, I thought. There was no way dad would accept the things I had done here. He would go ballistic on me if he knew!

I then thought maybe I could disappear for a few days, not tell Skyla were I had gone til I came back. She may understand better then. I would then know where I stood back home too. I kept reminding myself Bella wouldn't be there. I had nothing to worry about in the way of her. I just had to doge Charlie.

Looking back up to the moon lighting the sky and the land before it, I made my decision. I was going back, just for a few days. It should be enough to know how and where I stood there.

Going back inside, I went back over to where Skyla and I had been sitting. She was there, sitting with a half empty glass in her hand. She smiled and lit up with seeing me. "Hey," her voice perked.

"Hey to you too," I smiled, placing a soft kiss on her mouth before sitting back and pulling out a small stash of Wolfsbane from my pocket. I no longer wanted to think of my decision for now. Skyla stared at me while I swallowed three-quarters of it and passed the rest to her. Just a second after I had passed it to her, I felt something change in the air. The atmosphere was tighter and thicker. Then I heard a male's voice saying, "Put your arms behind your back ma'am."

Looking to Skyla, I saw a cop pulling her out of the chair. My body and mind acted on impulse. "That's mine. She has nothing to do with it."

"I'll be arresting the two of you then," he said and looked to his partner, moving his head towards where I sat in signal to arrest me too. I growled at myself, so pissed off. It was one thing that I got arrested, but it was something else when Skyla did too because of my stupid actions!

The guy's partner arrested me and grabbed the stash I had given to Skyla with a glove on. I guess it was evidence or something to them.

Both of them pushed us outside and towards the police cars on the curb. I had no idea how to get the two of us out of this. I had only ever escaped alone before. If only Skyla and I could hear each other's thoughts in human form. Then it would be easy.

Taking us to the car, they made Skyla sit on the sidewalk while I stood next to the boot of the car. I watched as they pulled out some kind of test kit and cussed under my breath. Now we were in trouble! I knew the Wolfsbane tested up as Meth.

I could sense the guy behind me was purely focused on what his partner was doing. I stared Skyla in the eye hoping she could half understand what I was thinking. My eyes glanced back over my shoulder to the guy still behind me. My eyes then flickered to the other guy doing the test on the Wolfsbane. My lips moved slowly, counting too quietly for them to hear. "One . . . Two . . ."

"It's Crystal Meth."

"Three."

Skyla got up and started to run towards Central Park. She tried breaking the hand cuffs but failed. The instant I whispered three, I broke mine in half just as they grabbed my arms. I knew Skyla was a slower runner compared to myself so she needed a head start. Once they had my hands secured in another pair of cuffs, the other guy took off running after her. I could sense the wave of shock basically radiating off them both after they found I had broken the last pair of hand cuffs. My body couldn't restrain itself from smirking proudly.

"Get in the car!" the other ordered. "Your friend will be joining you soon."

I snickered quietly, watching his mistake as he sat me in the opposite side to where he sat in the driver's seat. _Easier than taking candy from a baby,_ I thought, breaking the second pair of cuffs from behind my back and opening the car door before the guy even knew what I was doing. I ran off in the opposite direction to Skyla just as he got out of the car and started to run. "Stop you!"

I rolled my eyes hearing him. What was this? A TV show? Why would I take him seriously with hearing that? I could hear him speaking into his radio quickly while running.

My heart pounded as I kept on running. I could feel my inner wolf struggling and fighting against the Wolfsbane to try and take over so I could run faster. I was thankful for when it kept on failing. Cutting onto a short-cut, I started to head for Central Park too in hope of finding Skyla and losing the cop on my tail.

It didn't take much to lose him and when I did find Skyla, she was once again caught. I sighed, rolling my eyes as I sat beside a tree watching them walking back towards where the club was located. He was walking casually with her. Skyla's head was hung until I ran my hand over the bark of the tree. It caught her attention, making her look over to where I was. I winked with a smirk, letting her know I was there for her. I just had to work out how to get her away from that guy.

I bit my lip in wonder. I could only _just_ feel my wolf awake. I needed it to get her away from that cop. I tried to fight against the Wolfsbane like one would fight against sleeping tablets. It snarled back and took over painfully. I knew the shift wouldn't last long.  
>I ran up to the cop as fast as I could and ripped the cuffs from around Skyla's wrists. The look on the guys face was priceless. I thought he was thinking he was in some kind of dream by the wide-eyed look on his face.<p>

Skyla ran off with me through the night. Together we stayed in the shadows with been still chased. We got down the alley of my apartment when I couldn't fight it any longer. Gasping for air, I phased back by force and fell onto my hands and knees.

"Jake!" Skyla cried, stopping and looking back towards where fell.

"I'm fine! Go!"

She headed towards the fire escape and to wear my window was left open a crack as I got up and followed her. Never before was I so glad it was past midnight and all the curtains of the building were pulled, otherwise I'd be arrested for indecent exposure . . . my eyes rolled at the thought.

I could hear the police coming just as I closed the window and pulled the curtains together. Gasping and panting for breath, I fell back on my bed, exhausted. Fighting the Wolfsbane while running had really knocked me. Phasing had never hurt so much. Every muscle in my body was aching with pain. I was dripping with sweat.

"Are you okay?" Skyla murmured, coming to sit by my right side.

"Yeah," I panted, looking to her, turning onto my side.

"How did you do that? I thought you had taken the Wolfsbane?"

"I fought it. I couldn't just let them take you away like that."

A smile came over her mouth. "Thank you, Jacob," she whispered in a low and sweet tone. Her fingers slowly ran along the length of my cheek and jaw. I could see what she was thinking by the look in her sparkling blue eyes.

"Tomorrow," I whispered, kissing her cheek and sitting up to go and take a shower. "I can hardly move."

Skyla giggled, rolling her eyes. "Sure, sure, Jacob," she laughed

"Hey, if I could, you know I would. Every muscle in my body is aching from phasing and fighting that Wolfsbane."

"Ah huh, sure," Skyla said, sounding as though she didn't believe me.

I rolled my eyes going into the bathroom and turned on the shower. The warm water definitely felt good on my muscles. Running my hand over my neck, I felt the light scar left from Kasey's bite. I didn't understand how I had a scar from a human bite. I had the same scar on my peck too.

I sighed. I still didn't understand that night with her. Things just didn't add up with Kasey. It took ages for those bites to heal and then when they did heal, they left a scar? That had never happened before, and I've had thousands of deep marks before.

Shaking my head and rinsing off, I shut off the water and went straight to bed. I was more than knocked out from not sleeping much in the past couple of days. At least the Wolfsbane would maybe help tonight.

When I woke up again, it was dark and it wasn't because it was still early morning. I had slept the whole day away, though at least I felt better for it. I had a dreamless night for once and without waking up gasping in horror and sweating like it was one-hundred-and-twenty-degrees.

I got dressed into some jeans and walked out to the main room. I saw Skyla in the kitchen at the stove and cooking what looked like breakfast of eggs and bacon. She smiled sweetly with seeing me, moving the food around the pan. I smiled back and went over to her side, wrapping my arms around her small waist. "You slept all day too, huh?" I murmured into Skyla's ear, placing a kiss on her temple.

"Mmhm," she nodded, not taking her eyes away from the pan. "Don't distract me from this Jacob. For once I'm doing okay at cooking."

I grinned against the skin of her neck, taking that as a challenge. I really wasn't that hungry anyway. . . My lips brushed the length of Skyla's neck as I started to kiss her. I felt her shudder hard within my arms. That only brought a smug smirk to my face. How she reacted to me was just how I liked it.

"Jacob. . ." she murmured breathlessly, dropping the spoon in the pan, turning around to wrap her arms around my neck as she kissed me on the mouth harshly without hesitation. My arms wrapped around her shoulders as I turned to lean back against the counter, pulling Skyla closer.

Before it could even register in my brain, I felt her pushing me back against the couch. Her fingers dug into my shoulders as her hips rolled into mine. I moaned into her mouth just when a loud alarm went off – we had forgotten the bacon and eggs still on the stove.

My eyes shot open with the pain of the alarm hurting my ears. Skyla was covering hers too. It was the fire alarm and I had no idea where it was to turn the thing off. Then water started to come down from no wear. I looked to the roof to see sprinklers and water coming out of them. I hadn't ever noticed them before. Glancing to the stove, all I could see of it was a small flame been put out by the sprinklers and a little smoke. If I hadn't been so distracted, I would have smelt it.

Quickly I got up and hesitantly pulled my hands away from my ears to turn off the stove. "Come on let's go!" I shouted over the alarm still going off at it. I couldn't stand the sound, smell of smoke and the water anymore. Plus I didn't need the trouble of what happened with the fire on my hands too.

I ran into my room and grabbed my jacket as Skyla opened the window and started to head out the fire escape. It was a very dark night. I followed her out with my jacket under my arm and then ran into the alley to put it on before anyone could see us. We ran to the club in the rain from there. I wondered if I would have music to face once we went back. . .

I could still feel the Wolfsbane working as we walked towards the club. I smirked cockily at Skyla, looking down to her.

"What?" she asked, smirking crookedly back.

"What do you think would have happened if that alarm had gone off ten minutes later than it had?"

"Oh my god. . ." she gushed, staring me in the eye, stopping on the sidewalk in shock.

I laughed, turning my body towards where she had stopped. Skyla's eyes were more bugged out than a deer's in front of an on-coming car. "You didn't think of that, even for a second before I mentioned it?"

"No! Of course not! Why would I?"

"Well of course someone sooner or later is going to come and check things out," I stated. It was true. Just because no one had come while we were there didn't mean no one had come to check things out after we had left.

"But. . . but. . . oh my god Jacob."

I laughed again. I really didn't think Skyla would have been worried about been caught. She seemed to be too carefree and hardcore to worry about it. She was acting like . . . well, she was acting like a typical girl about it.

"I don't know. . ." I started with, rubbing the back of my neck. "I think it would have intensified things if it had been ten minute later. The chance of been caught like that." I smirked at the thought, turning and heading back towards the club.

Skyla ran up to my side. "Are you saying you wouldn't be worried if you got caught?"

I grinned, feeling confident. "Yeah, I think I am."

"And that you are willing to try it?" Skyla then smirked at me darkly. I knew _that_ look. I could never figure her out though. Why would she just make such a fuss over what _might_ have been and then give me _that_ look two seconds later? I guess confidence changed people once they had it. That is the only thing I could put it down to.

Glaring into my eyes, Skyla slowly pinned me against the wall of a building. A crooked smirk of encouragement came over my features as I held her gaze. Her hands rested on the wall above my head as our lips connected. Instinctively my arms wrapped around her back, bringing her into my body and deepened the kiss.

"Get a room you two," some guy said walking past, making us break the kiss in surprise. I really didn't think anyone would get that said to them in this city. I always walked past people making out on the streets. . . It seemed to be the normal thing here.

Skyla rolled her eyes with another smirk, taking my hand as she giggled like a school girl. I stared up into the night sky. It was the darkest night I had seen since coming to New York. It was eerie too. Something just didn't feel right.

Opening the door of the club, loud music greeted us inside. I loved the feel of the music's beat rocking through my body. Every nerve in my body turned alert. I felt as though I had a sugar high.

I went over to the bar and ordered some – what would be everyone else's dinner – breakfast along with some drinks. Of course we couldn't get something that you would usually have for breakfast at eight o'clock at night, so instead, Skyla and I ordered three steaks with vegetables and salad on the side. It wasn't too bad for cheap club food either. We often ate here as we both hated cooking. The food was always cheap and pretty good.

Sitting back in the corner of the bar, I looked around at each of the faces dancing to the music and drinking at the bar, after I had finished eating. I often found a lot of people came back to this place.

There must have been a breeze blowing into the room and it had abruptly changed direction as I smelt the sickly-sweet scent of leech enter my nose. My stomach turned with smelling it. It had been a fair while since I had smelt leech.

"Jake," Skyla murmured, placing her shaking hand on my knee. My gaze turned swiftly to her. I had forgotten she hadn't been exposed to their stench before.

"Deep breaths; focus on the music or your heartbeat slowing down. Don't focus on anything else." She nodded, leaning into my side. I felt a weak shudder go through my body and tried to take a note out of my own book. I didn't know if it was a good thing I couldn't phase right now or not. I was having the signs of phasing, but because of the Wolfsbane, I couldn't phase – that's what I thought anyway.

I scanned the room again, but a little more thorough this time. Then I couldn't believe my eyes. Across the room, standing in the dark corner of the club, away from the crowd, Edward stood with his arms crossed over his chest.

Because of the Wolfsbane, I really couldn't think of the reasons why I hated him so much other than the reason he was a leech. I knew I couldn't remember the rest because they were painful details. I got up with Skyla to leave, but decided not to. The Wolfsbane was very slowly wearing off me. The first sign of it was wearing thin was remembering the decision I would be going home sooner or later.

"Jake, what's wrong?" Skyla asked, turning around, her crystal blue eyes searched my face.

"I got to take care of something. Go outside and wait for me, please," I murmured.

I closed my eyes for a second and exhaled deeply. _I can do this,_ I thought and headed towards where Edward stood. My narrowed eyes connected with his as I moved my finger to indicate to follow me out to the backroom where no one would hear us. The last thing I needed was someone to over hear what we were.

I walked down the narrow hall and past the exit sign until I came to a dark room with nothing but a dim greenish-blue light for lighting. There was nothing in the room apart from a few boxes stacked up in the corner.

I leaned up against the wall, resting my foot against it as my arms crossed over my chest. My eyes stayed fixed upon the doorway where Edward would be walking through. I knew he was coming. I could smell him.

I really didn't want to do this now. But I knew I would have to do it sooner or later if I wanted to go home at anytime. I just wanted get it over with already. All I hoped was the Wolfsbane would allow me to remember what was needed for it to get over with. Slowly things were coming back, but I found if I tried to force them, my head ached in shooting pains. I tried to ignore it.

Ever so slowly, taking his time, Edward came through the door and stood. He scoffed, looking away and wrinkled up his nosed. "Take the jacket off Jacob, you look like a mugger!"

I rolled my eyes, feeling another tremble go through my body out of annoyance. I could hardly remember even a quarter of what and who Edward was and he was already pissing me off! "That's the point," I spat in a low, bitter tone. "That's what you do when you're hiding. What are you doing here?"

"Hiding?" he pushed, raising an eye brow in question.

"Answer my question," I growled. He was only taunting me, I knew that much. He could read my mind so he knew what I meant.

"You simply bumped into me mutt," he finally replied with.

There was a prang at my heart hearing him. Why was he here and not with Bella? I didn't want to ask. I really didn't want to know the truth. I didn't want to do this anymore. I just wanted to leave like a little boy in trouble. I had thought maybe he was here with a message from Bells, but I was obviously wrong – unless he was playing with my head.

Moving myself away from the wall, I pushed past him to leave the room when Edward caught my wrist and yanked me back in front of him. I glared him in the eye growling, but he remained composed. "You are missed back home, Jacob," he murmured softly, unfazed.

I relaxed a little, but not much. "You're lying," I murmured, turning to go again when he caught me by the wrist once more. This time he didn't pulled me back in front of him. I just stopped and yanked my hand back. "Why would I be? I only caused trouble when I was around, even if I didn't mean to."

"That's not true."

"Yes, it is," I stated in a deep tone. "I'm leaving."

Taking just one step, he stopped me again, but not physically this time. My body turned back to towards where he stood. My feet stayed facing the direction of the main room to the club.

"Bella gave me a note to give you." My whole body ached with hearing her name. Things were trying to come to my mind, but were knocked back by the Wolfsbane. My head started to ache again. I covered my ears with the sound of the music out back suddenly becoming too loud for my ears to handle.

I saw the white piece of paper in his hand. My eyes travelled to Edward's face as a dark smirk crossed his lips. "Read it like a good dog, will you?"

I growled. My head was pounding. It was the Wolfsbane doing this! I could feel the last of it raging through my veins. Things started to come to me and then went again. "I can't!"

"If I knew you would be so dramatic about it, I would have read it," he muttered, opening the note. "'Hey _Jake, I miss you. Hope your okay. Bella.'_"

Within a brief few seconds, memories of Bella flashed through my head before been blocked out again. The music of the club was too loud. It made the pounding in my head worse. I felt dizzy and fell to my hands and knees. Why was the Wolfsbane doing this to me? It hadn't ever before . . . but then, I had only fought its affects once before and that was physically. Now I was fighting it mentally.

"What is going on with you Jacob?" Edward murmured, sounding slightly worried.

"If you can't tell, I'm not exactly clean right now! And if you think I'm putting on an act, I'm not!" I shouted, trying to think of something to distract my mind from anything to do with Bella. Each time I got my mind on something else it helped until one of those memoires came back. That was when I realised I needed help, and there was only one who could give it. I couldn't believe I was so desperate that I was going to ask help from a vampire! I thought it would be the very last thing I would ever do in my life!

I shook my head, smirking while thinking how ironic this was. "What, have you lost your mind reading abilities?" I muttered smugly, glancing up at his face.

I watched as he slowly leaned down to my level and placed his hand on my shoulder. I could tell he was trying to show sympathy, but I couldn't help but feel like growling and shrugging off his hand.

"No, I can still hear your thoughts; I just can't make them out. They're all over the place.

"That's how it feels," I murmured, looking down to the cold, hard ground beneath my hands. "But worse." My brain felt fried to be perfectly honest. "What can you see, hear?" I looked back to Edward as he stood up again and started to walk in a circle, around where I sat. I felt intimidated, like the prey a shark was circling. I had to remember he was doing me a favour.

"There are only a couple of things which are clear. There's a police light and you're paranoid for some reason?" He stopped and glared into my eyes. His turned wide, staring in shock. "You've stopped phasing?"

I sighed at the thought of last week. I had been fighting again for Skyla. Some creep had been hitting on her. Though she seemed okay with it, I wasn't. I could sense and _smell_ his intentions. "I was arrested for fighting again and I was holding Woflsbane in my pocket. . . that's why I was paranoid. The police think it's meth. It stops me from phasing and blocks out all the memories which are hurtful. That's why I take it. . ." I sat against the wall near the door, looking away after speaking. I felt like a kid in trouble. I knew I would hear it now. A quick glance at Edward's face only confirmed my theory.

"What were you thinking Jacob? You want to be exposed? Caught? Put on a lab table and experimented on? Do you want the whole world to know you're a werewolf?" he shouted so loud it hurt my ears.

I growled, rolling my eyes and shaking my head after seeing his sudden outburst. I didn't understand why he cared away. It wasn't his business. It wasn't affecting him or Bella.

From the corner I my eye I stared at him with sharp, darken eyes. "I don't need to tell anyone now . . . you just told the whole freaking world for me!"

"What were you thinking getting involved with the police? They would have known what you were!"

"How? They can't make me phase!"

"Ugh! Jake! I cannot believe you!" Edward massaged this head as though he had a headache. He paced the room, staying quiet for once.

"At least I gave life without Bella a second chance, unlike someone in front of me. Or have you forgotten that time? The time Bella chose you over me, after all you had done to her after leaving?" I asked in a low growl, meeting his dark gaze after he stopped pacing. "'Cause I certainly haven't forgotten it!"

"That time of my life is impossible to forget Jacob," he murmured calmly.

"And yet you still don't understand how I fell and why I take the Wolfsbane to make things better. . ."I trailed off.

Edward's glance went to the side of the door for a moment before he smirked, shaking his head. I knew Skyla was there checking up on me – without needing to turn my head and see her. She was leaning through the exit to see what was going on. I could smell the fresh-air outside flowing into the room.

"Great, here's another one. . ." Sparkles said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

I growled loudly, glaring at him. Fire went through my spine with hearing his words. "Leave. Her. Alone," I warned through clenched teeth. My body tensed to the point my muscles were hurting.

"What is it about her that you're so wrapped up over? Have you forgotten about Bella?" It wasn't his words that made me lose it, it was how he had spoken in the tone that gave the impression Skyla was a no body – a waste of space.

I stood fast and grabbed hold of Edward's collar, forcing him back against the wall of the room. I stared him in the eye as he hissed. "Don't tempt me at taking you apart!" I snarled. "And don't ever speak of her like that!"

I slowly let go of him, but not quick enough. With one thrust of his arms, he pushed my body back into the wall near the doorway. Hitting the concrete wall took the air out of my lungs with its force.

"Jake!" Skyla ran over to my side to see if I was okay. I sat up and pushed her back. My eyes met hers. I could see the worry over her face. I also noticed she was trying to hold her breath. "Wait for me back outside," I murmured huskily, not taking my eyes off of the leech now.

Skyla glanced at Edward and ran out of the room. I heard her gasp for air once she was outside after holding her breath for so long.

"Jake, calm down. This isn't helping a thing," Edward said after a few minutes.

"Calm down! You're the one who got me stirred up in the first place! You know what Skyla means to me."

"Jake!"

"I'm calm!"

"Your thoughts aren't."

"I am as calm as I will ever be around you, and get out of my head!"

He just scoffed and shook his head.

"What are you _really _doing here?" I asked quickly, in a bitter tone. "And don't tell me I just bumped into you!"

"Bella's been missing you Jacob. She wanted me to find you."

"So why isn't she here too? How did you know where I was?"

He smirked at my question. "_Giant Russet Wolf in New York City Central Park,_ is pretty much a dead giveaway in the news headlines, Jacob. She doesn't know I'm here. I knew if I found you, Bella wouldn't leave without giving you an earful," he snickered lightly, still smirking.

"Um, thanks, I think." I rubbed the back of my neck, staring down at the ground. I could sense morning wasn't too far off.

"Jacob, is Bella ever going to see you again?" he asked after a few minutes, probably sensing that I was thinking about going home. "She misses you more than anything."

"I don't know," I answered simply, yawning with tiredness "She can visit me if she likes. I'm sure you'll know where to find me. . . See you around I guess," I murmured, turning my back to leave. I heard a murmur of a goodbye from Edward after I went outside.

Skyla ran up to my side and wrapped her arms around my waist. The whole walk home she was questioned what happened. She had only been able to hear some of what had been said. Like me, Skyla really didn't trust Edward, even with the very little she knew about him.

When we finally got home, I hit my head to my forehead. I had forgotten the whole mess of what had happened with _breakfast_ this morning. Everything was wet and I had a notice to see the owners of the building about the event.

I was so tired I just wanted to go to bed, but instead I had to clean up. I pulled the blankets off the beds and put them outside to air dry along with my mattress and the cushions of the couch. When it was all finally cleaned up, I pulled the bed out of the couch for both I and Skyla to sleep on. It was past nine in the morning by the time I could get some sleep, but then I couldn't sleep for the thoughts of Bella dancing around in my head like some really bad nightmare.

I stared up at the ceiling for what felt like hours; wondering what would happen if I did see Bella again. I didn't even know if I wanted to see her again. Where did we go wrong? She was just what I needed and I was just what she needed. But now it was too late. She had chosen him this time. She was his and that was how it would remain forever. . .

I turned onto my side and closed my eyes, thinking of our one and only real kiss two years ago on top of a hill. Those few minutes meant the world to me, more than anything else I ever had in my life.

Before I feel asleep, I made a decision. I missed her too, but not enough to get hurt all over again. I didn't want to see Bella again. Ever.

* * *

><p>Hey guys,<p>

Sorry its taken so long to get up this chapter. I'll be updating more often though from now on. Love hearing your thoughts on this story. Keep it coming in! Don't worry, you'll soon be seeing Bella again!

Want to wish you all a Very Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and A Happy, Safe New Year!

Love you all!

- Sky x


	9. I'm in Love With You!

**I'm In Love with You! **

_This Chapter was Inspired by, Bleeding Love – Leona Lewis_

It was dawn when I woke up after another one of those nightmares about Bella – I knew I shouldn't have gone to bed last night without taking some Wolfsbane! I sat up on the side of the bed in nothing but my one pair of black boxers. I exhaled loudly, staring down at the carpet and then looked out my window to the city lights of New York.

It was dark as midnight and yet it was the break of morning. Clouds loomed over the horizon with light flashes of lightning within in them. I sighed coming to yet another decision. I was going home, now. It was the perfect time to leave.

I had no Wolfsbane in my system so I could phase. Skyla had just gone to sleep a few hours ago and would be out until late afternoon. The city was quiet and with knowing Edward was here in New York after last night, I thought now would be the best time to go home too. Bella would no doubt be with Edward somewhere in the city. He wouldn't leave her. I knew that much about him. And with that knowledge, there was no chance of bumping into her at home if they still lived there.

Going to my draw, I pulled out a few pairs of tee shirts and jeans, leaving just one of each in the draw. I packed them inside my backpack, put some of the Wolfsbane in the pocket on the side – just in case – and threw a leather jacket in on top before doing it up. . . I flung the backpack over my right shoulder and wrote Skyla out a letter.

_Gone for a few days._

_Be back soon. _

– _Jacob x _

Heading out of the city while it was still quiet-ish, I stripped off and headed back towards home, trying to stay on route of where I had come to get from home to New York two years ago now. It wasn't easy, but after hours and hours of nonstop running, I was finally home in La Push. I took in a deep breath of my homeland's air. I had missed the fresh, clean and pure air of home. I hadn't noticed how muggy and stale the air in New York was until now.

My eyes closed on the edge of the forest near home and took in a deep breath. The woodsy scent plus the freshness of dawn felt so nice on my skin and in my lungs. There was nothing like it.

My muscles ached from running for so long and so hard. I didn't want to take a full week to get back here like it had taken me to get to New York the first time. But now I was home, I couldn't help but feel nervous. What would the guys think? And Sam? What would dad say, and Rachel? I hadn't heard anyone in my head as I entered the res. That kind of surprise me, but I was glad no one had been around.

Yawning, I grabbed my backpack and took out a navy blue tee shirt and a dark pair of jeans. Pulling them on, I smiled walking up to the house. I ran my hand over the paint work of the old house I had grown up in. I had missed home.

Finding the spear key under the doormat, I unlocked the house. It was obvious no one was home which kind of surprised me too. Again, I was kind of glad as I was totally beat and needed to sleep for a while.

Going to my room, I saw it was unchanged from when I had left it. Though someone had been dusting and had made my bed – most likely Rachel. Pulling back the sheet, I lay down and thought of how much I had missed _my_ bed, _my _pillow, _my_ land and _my_ home. There was nothing like being home.

I stared up at the wooden ceiling of my room, thinking for a moment and then fell asleep. I had no idea how long after I fell asleep I woke up to the sound of a door opening and closing again, but it felt like hours if not days. I had been more tired than I first thought.

Sitting up on the side of my bed, I yawned and stood, walking out of my room, I leaned against the doorframe, crossing my arms over my chest while smiling seeing my sister Rachel getting dinner on in our small little kitchen. It wasn't even dark yet and she was getting ready to cook. God I had missed her!

"Hey," I smiled, making her jump a little and turn around into my direction swiftly.

Rachel's eyes scanned over me from head to toe. I could see it in her chocolate eyes – eyes of our mom's – as she realised who it was standing before her. She had changed slightly over the years. Her hair had grown out and became darker, and I could see the slightest bit of age around her forehead, though it was barely visible.

"Jacob?" she whispered warily.

I smiled crookedly hearing her voice for the first time in years. I thought maybe she wouldn't fully recognise me as her younger brother. My muscle tone was leaner and my hair was slightly longer. I had also lost all the baby fat around my face and grown a little. I was taller than Rachel and had been for most of my life, though she was still my big sister – a_lmost,_ always there when I needed her or when I needed someone to listen to what I had to say.

"Yeah, it's me, Wolf Girl," I said, speaking mom's nickname for Rach. She would have to know it was me when I used her nickname. It was only our family who knew that nickname.

I watched as I saw Rachel's face turned from cautious and wary to surprised and shocked. Tears started to form in her eyes and roll down her cheeks as she almost ran to my side. I took two strides and wrapped my arms around her tightly as she did the same. She cried into my shirt. It had been so long since I hugged her. It felt nice, comforting, just like home.

She pulled back away from me a little, though her arms still stayed wrapped around my back like my own around her. She still had tears in her eyes. I wiped them away and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"What were you thinking just leaving us like that? What did I do to make you leave? I came home and you just left? Was it because Paul was over all the time?" she sobbed.

"No – no Rachel. It had nothing to do with you or Paul. I just had to sort myself out for a while. I'd never leave you Rachel." My hand brushed down her cheek, wiping away the new tears rolling down her beautiful light russet cheeks, only to get a hit in the shoulder.

My eyes narrowed out of confusion. "Ow, what was that for?" I rubbed my shoulder, acting as though it hurt like it would have to a _normal_ person.

"Do you know what you put us through Jacob Black? Dad was worried sick! He even had Charlie put up posters for missing persons. We didn't know if you had run away or were kidnapped, dead or alive. Does the dad know your back? How long are you staying for? If you ever leave again, at least tell me or dad, or I swear–"

_Just like mum_, I thought, shaking my head mentally as I cut her off. "I know I put you all through hell. No he doesn't. I came home and the house was empty. He should have known I'd be okay. I'm a. . ." I trailed off, hoping to god Rachel didn't notice. I wasn't sure if she knew about us yet or not. "Sam knew I had left," I came back with, thinking quickly, trying to distract her. "I'm staying for a few days, I'm leaving again after that, but I promise I'll be back again soon. I missed you Rachel."

She held me tightly in her arms again. She looked up to my face and shook her head. "You can't just leave us again. We need you here with us. When you left, the house felt so empty and lifeless." Slowly, she stepped away over to the window and closed her eyes before reopening them and looked outside into the now almost night light. It was twilight. "You can't leave again."

"Why do you need me here? What can I do that Sam and the others can't?"

"Sam and the others can't be my little brother," she murmured with a cracked tone, looking straight into my eyes. I bite my lower lip hearing her. That hurt. Seeing the look in her eyes just tore me up.

"I have reasons to go back Rachel. I will be back soon after that, though."

"I wasn't ready to be here without you Jacob. . . I needed you and you weren't here." She leaned back against the window and looked back outside again.

"I'm sorry."I sighed kicking off my shoes.

"So are you just planning on staying a few days and then take off again or will you come back and stay with us?" she asked in a bitter voice.

I knew what Rachel meant. I thought long and hard about that. The truth was, I really didn't know. I did plan on coming back again, but I hadn't thought about coming back and staying. I was only here trying to work out whether I could come back home or not. I didn't want the pain of my old life back and yet, I craved for my old, healthy life. But at the same time, I also craved my new life. At least my new life was virtually painless.

"I don't know yet. I'm still working out myself. That's why I came back, to work out what I want and need for myself. I had planned on coming back and staying, but I don't know if things will be that easy. But if I went back, I wouldn't mind if you came a visited me." I sighed again, rubbing the back of my neck. "I just need to work out what I need and want in my life right now."

Rachel crossed her arms over her chest as she glared down to the floor. She then sighed. "Nothing is ever the same after you leave and come back. I should know." She kept on glaring at the floor for a few more minutes and then held my gaze. "I thought after mum died, when I went off to school, that it'd be easier to come back, but it wasn't.

Dad hasn't been the same since you left. At least see him and let him know you're okay and safe before you take off again." Rachel then stood up and came over to my side by the counter top. Her hands rested on top of them as she leaned against them, staring down at the floor again.

"I know that now. I feel it. A part of me wants to be here and another part me doesn't. He should already know I'm fine." I sighed, sensing Rachel's next question. I slipped down the side of the counter to the floor and kept on staring at the ground.

"Why would he know your okay Jacob? How would he know?"

I didn't want to be the one who broke the news of the pack to her. It was obvious she didn't know, but I also didn't want to lie to Rachel about something so important like this. She is with Paul. He is a werewolf like me. How could I lie to her about something like that?

Glancing up at Rachel's face, she was already staring down at me for answers. I sighed deeply, running my hand over my face, hoping to god she won't freak out about the truth- but then again, Rachel had studied the legends since she was three. She needed to know, I knew that much, but what I didn't know was how she would take it. I knew Rachel wouldn't like the fact I hadn't told her my secret when she first came home, like I should have there and then.

"Because, I and the others . . . we're all werewolves Rachel, the whole pack is. Including, Paul."

She stayed silent for a while. "I always knew there was something different about you, and them. Why didn't anyone tell me? I'm dating Paul, but I know he would never hurt me."

I looked away from Rachel's gaze and stared at the window with blind eyes. "Because, we don't want anyone to get the wrong idea about us, like . . ." I trailed off thinking about Bella. She had thought I was a killer. She thought _we_ were killers and she knew me. I knew what others would be thinking and saying if they didn't know the full truth; and the full truth was so hard to grasp.

I winced hearing Rachel's words of trust within Paul. "Don't think for a second Paul or I wouldn't hurt you if we got upset. Even by accident. Have you ever seen Emily's face?"

"I have, but I never knew what happened."

I bite my lip, seeing the pictures coming over my eyes as I thought back to when Sam had told us in wolf form. I saw everything. The marks, his face, Emily, the fear she had, the blood. . . I flinched, not wanting to see that on Rachel's face. "Sam lost it for a split second and Emily was standing too close. Emily is Sam's imprint, Rach. He'll never forgive what he's done to her. He carries those images and the feelings of pain with him forever. He never forgets it even for a second, and won't ever forget it. We all see it. Paul doesn't want to hurt you Rachel, but he loses it so much easier than the rest of us. He loses it easier than me and he's been one for longer. We don't want to hurt our imprints Rachel, but when we do, it affects us more than them. It hurts us physically, mentally and emotionally to see or know they're in pain, even when we didn't do it. But when we do . . . its unbearable."

She sunk down the side of the counter beside me, placing her hand on my arm and held my gaze. "You sound like you know the feeling, Jacob."

I smirked bitterly, shaking my head. "I just know how Sam feels." I sighed, wiping my hands over my face again, exhaling loudly. "I don't even know why I'm back here. I'm not ready to face him or the pack."

"It wasn't easy for me to come back, but I did."

She didn't understand what I was feeling, what I was putting up with, that was obvious. But I couldn't blame her either. Rachel didn't know about Bella. She didn't know anything of my life. She either wasn't around or I hadn't told her.

"The difference between you and I coming back Rach, is you only had mum's death as your pain. I don't have just one thing that I have to deal with to be around here, and I'm not sure if I'm strong enough to even deal with even one of those things. You have no idea the things I did and got into while I was away. I'm different to how I used to be," I murmured, trying to stay calm. "Hell! I'm lucky I'm not in jail right now!"

Rachel ran her hand down the side of my face as I kept on staring at the old white tiles of the kitchen with my hand fisted in my jeans. My jaw was clenched tight as I tried to calm my breathing and pulse down. I was feeling the heat of phasing coming over me.

"Jake, I get it. You have more you're telling me, going on. I know you want to protect me, but it's my job to protect you. You're my baby brother. I will never let you go to jail."

I heard her take in a breath as she rested her head on my shoulder. My arm wrapped around her small waist. She glanced up at me again and smiled. "You're my brother, and it's hard been here without you."

"You would fight the entire United State's of America's law system, just for me?" I whispered in slight disbelief, placing a kiss on her temple. "I'll always be around for you Rach. I promise. Alright if you're going to get all 'big sister' on me, I'll tell you. But for god sakes Rach, don't tell Charlie or dad. I think even Charlie would through me in jail, and you know what an old women of a gossiper dad can be at times. . ."

"Of course I would fight the law system for you. I don't want anything to happen to you Jake. I'd do anything to keep you safe." She laughed after hearing me called dad an old woman of a gossiper. "Well that's true, but you know I can keep a secret better than Rebecca can and I never share you're secrets and you know it."

I grinned at her. "How do I know I'm not talking to Bec right now?" I teased, laughing and nudging her in the side with my free arm. "Thanks Rach, you always know how to make me feel special." I took in a deep breath, thinking for a moment before I started speaking. "I left because Bella chose Edward over me, and he's a vampire, and you know how we hate vampires or leeches as I rather call them. I know it's a stupid, childish reason to leave, but Sam was also pressuring me to be the alpha of the pack, and I'm not ready for it. I am the rightful alpha but I don't want to be in the pack, let alone its leader.

I ran off to New York and tried to find anything that took the pain away that was caused by any thought or feeling towards Bella. So I found trouble, parties, sex, drugs, drinking and fighting. Just anything that took the pain away. It didn't hurt as long as I did one of those things. They took the pain away, especially the drugs. . . I wore a hood all the time so no one recognised me, not even the cops when I was arrested.

After a while, I met a girl and found she was a werewolf too. She didn't know how to keep control and she didn't know much about it, so I taught her everything I knew. I'm her alpha basically. She's only seventeen and she acts like she is twenty-five. She takes everything under the sun, drinks and has friends with benefits. She's overdosed about three times since I met her.

Her imprint died and she has an abusive past. I've helped her and she's helped me. I don't know what I would do without her. I've saved her so many times from been attacked or from overdosing or been arrested. Over the years I just feel like I've lost myself. I was scared about phasing because I felt better in my wolf form. It was like my inner wolf didn't feel so strongly as I did for Bella." I sighed thinking how stupid I had been over the last few years. I shook my head. "I know it was all stupid Rachel, but I only did it to get rid of the pain. At least now I'm almost always numb."

Rachel stared down at the tiles with her legs drawn up to her chin. Her arms were wrapped around them tightly. I didn't like her been so quiet and not knowing what she was thinking. It was scaring me.

"Rach, say something, please," I begged with a faint voice, touching her shoulder.

"I just can't believe it Jacob . . . I know who you are and yet, none of that really _is_ you . . . It feels like a day ago you were a little baby as I helped mum bathe and change you, and then in a snap, you're a grown up person doing all these things. You're eighteen Jacob. . ." Rachel murmured, shaking her head, like she was in disbelief of what I had told her. I didn't know what to think by what she had said. Was she angry? Was she upset? I had no idea and I was worried.

"I've lost myself Rachel. . . I'm not the kid you knew when I left."

"No. You're not," she breathed, turning my way and held my gaze. "I understand though. You got so desperate to find a way out, you just. . ." She shook her head again, unable to finish. She looked back down at the floor with expressionless eyes.

". . .lost myself out of desperation of trying to take away the pain. I know . . . The worst thing was; I knew it was happening and didn't stop. I didn't want to." I rested my arm on my knee drawn up as I twisted my body to stare down at the tiles between Rachel and I. I began tracing patterns of nothing with the tip of my finger over the surface of the tiles.

"The pain was that bad?" Her question was spoken in a faint voice – pained. I could feel Rachel's eyes on my face again.

I nodded, breathing a "yeah," without looking up at her. I could feel my eyes turning glassy. I growled to myself almost silently. I hated showing weakness.

Slowly, I felt Rachel's hand run from my chin to my cheek. My lips pursed for a second in attempt of trying to fight back the tears from over flowing as I looked up to her. She was crying again. Her other arm wrapped around my back; bringing us both together in a close and warm hug. It felt good too, knowing she loved and still cared for me after all the stupid junk I had done. I didn't think she would accept the things I had done so easily.

"I'll always be here for you Jacob. I'll help you if you want me to. I love you, I always will, even if I don't act like it. Please know that," she sobbed.

I just nodded into her shoulder, covering my face within her light brown shirt, with my arms tightly around her too. This was what I needed. I knew if I had spoken, my voice would have been cracked.

"_Shh_, it's okay Jacob," she murmured after a moment, running her hand down my back soothingly.

"I love you Rachel. You've been like a second mother to me. I thought when Paul imprinted on you, somehow, that would change. But it didn't." I pulled my face away from her shoulder and looked into her eyes. "Maybe . . . if I had came to you I wouldn't have needed to have done the things I had. I'm glad I came back and you were still here. I feel better than I thought I ever would again."

She ran her hand down my cheek and dropped it, replacing her hand with a kiss. "Whenever you need me Jacob, I'll be here. You're like my own son."

I turned a light pink in the cheeks. "Same, Rach. Always," I smiled slightly, just as I heard the door open.

Looking over my shoulder, I saw dad wheeling himself inside. It was well and truly night now. I started to wonder where he had been since dawn today. He never usually stayed out all day, nowadays. He used to work when we were kids though. We hardly ever saw him back then. . .

Rachel smiled at me and stood to help dad inside. I stood up too and leaned back against the counter, supporting myself as I used the back of my wrist to wipe away the visible tears on my cheeks.

"Thank you Rachel," dad spoke softly with a grateful smile over his old face. I bit my lip again seeing how much more . . . frail he had become over the last couple of years. I was gone for _too_ long. I knew that now.

"Hey dad," I said, hoping I wouldn't have the same conversation with him as I had with Rachel. Something told me I wouldn't though. Dad wasn't one to go deep into detail unless it was greatly needed. I knew I couldn't give him the whole story anyway. He could be such a gossiper at times. I didn't need it getting back to Charlie.

He blinked a few times, getting used to the bright lights of the house and looked up to my face. "Jacob, son? I never thought I would see you again," he said in a half excited, half faint tone.

Hearing those few words, hurt. He really did believe that. I could sense it. When I began to think about it quickly, I could see how he had a right to think it. I probably wouldn't have came back home if I hadn't left when I did. I could have just kept on denying my feelings of missing home with all the things I had used to take the pain of Bella away.

"You knew I would be okay dad. You had to have," I replied with, not knowing what else to respond with.

"Yes, but, a father worries too you know," a soft and crooked smile came over his face from across the room. "Now come over here and give your old man a hug." Rachel smiled as she stood over his wheelchair from behind. Dad's arm extended for me.

I smiled at him and closed the distance between us. "Missed you dad," I murmured as his arms closed around me.

"Missed you two son," he said, patting my back as I took a step back. "You've changed a lot."

I nodded. "Guess that's what happens in two years."

"Too long," he replied with, wheeling himself over to the TV.

"It is dad. It really is. . ." I murmured the last part to myself as I stared down at the floor. It hurt to see how much he had aged and changed. Aging sucks, _I thought_.

I helped Rachel prepare dinner and once it came to the point of eating, I couldn't believe how good everything tasted. It was like I hadn't eaten before. I knew it wasn't just Rachel's good cooking skills either that did the trick. It was a mix of that, been home and having my family around me. I had never thought of how different New York was to La Push. Almost everything here was better.

Over dinner, Rachel and dad explained where they had been for the day. Rachel had been with Paul the whole day like she usually was. They had been shopping, went and seen a movie and then went out for lunch before hanging out on the beach. Then Paul went on patrol. Dad had spent half the day with Sue Clearwater and then the rest with Charlie for a game. It was funny, 'cause I hadn't been able to get a reason of why he had been with Sue the whole day. . . I could sense there was something going on there. I smiled mentally, happy for him.

The only thing dad asked me was where I had gone and if I had made any friends in New York. Of course that leaded to speaking of Skyla. He said she should have come back with me. Then came the hard part – telling him I was going back in a few days. I watched as dad's face fell, followed by a faint, "oh." He then thanked Rachel for dinner and wheeled himself over to the TV again.

I looked to the side and sighed. Rachel's hand rested on my shoulder, making me look to her. "He'll be okay," she murmured. "It's your life Jacob. Both dad and I have to realise that," she whispered. "You're not a kid anymore."

I scoffed, looking down and back up to her face. "I'm an adult yet either." I shook my head. "It's just that, I see how much. . ."

"He's aged. I know."

"You too, though. I hate it Rachel. I don't age and yet I'm watching the two of you get closer to that day I lose you. I don't want to see that Rach."

"That's life Jacob," she whispered in a sigh.

"Life sucks," I muttered bitterly, pushing the chair away from the table and went to have a shower.

Sleeping a full night's sleep without waking up with half a hangover and high felt better than I could ever remember. Rachel left early to see Paul so she could be with me in the afternoon.

After breakfast I went back to bed for a while with still being tired from running for so long and hard yesterday. My whole body ached worst today. A hot shower which almost over heated me, later on, helped a little.

I thought maybe stretching my muscles would make moving a little easier, and I wanted to see the lands. I wanted to see how much they had changed in the last two years. Deciding to phase, I headed outside and stripped off, leaving my clothes on the edge of the forest instead of taking them with me like I usually did.

No one but me was running at the moment. I couldn't hear a word in my head. It was nice to feel the wind going through my coat and having space to run without having to worry about been caught like in New York. Yes, we still had to be cautious on the res, but not as much.

I howled out as I ran, feeling freedom under my paws and running over me as I went. I checked out the cliffs first, followed by first beach, second beach and then third. The forest was checked over as I travelled. Not much had changed in the way of nature.

I felt a shift in the wind, on the cliffs and heard a howl rip through the forests. It was Sam calling for me, though he was keeping his thoughts to himself. I sighed, knowing he already knew I was here. I most as well get it over with. I really wasn't ready to see Sam, but it was too late now.

I walked up the hill going to the steep cliffs, walking through bushes, I saw Sam sitting a few feet from the edge of the cliff. He was looking out to the ocean horizon. It was foggy and was beginning to become dark with a storm on the way.

'_Hey,'_ my thought muttered to him lowly.

'_Jacob,' _Sam thought to me without turning around or moving an inch. '_Didn't think we would see you again after so long.'_

'_Neither did I Sam. . .'_ I thought honestly, sitting by his side.

'_Then why did you come back?'_ His head turned to look at my face.

'_I truly don't know why. I guess to see if things are how I need them to be to come back if I decide to. I don't know. . .'_

'_What do you mean?'_

'_I don't want to come back home, if I _have_ to be an alpha, if I have to be on patrol all the time, and if Bella and the Cullens' are still living here. And I can't be here if you won't accept the things I've done for the reasons I've done them. . .' _Within a few seconds, I flashed a slideshow of images of the things I had done in New York. Once the slideshow in my mind stopped, I waited for Sam to at least think something of them, but he didn't.

"_You are accepted back Jacob, and welcomed home. We have all missed you. All I ask is you to be there when we need you. I hope to see you again on good terms my friend.'_

I nodded once, now looking at Sam. '_Thank you, and you will Sam. I'll be back, even if I don't stay.' _He nodded once too and with that, Sam ran off to do some pack duties. Apparently things around La Push had been pretty slowly, so Sam had given the pack a night off. He seemed different somehow – softer or something, like he had dropped his guard somewhat.

I slowly began to walk back home. After a while I felt Sam shift back to his human form and I knew I was won again alone. I allowed my mind to wonder. I was surprised by Rachel and Sam, by how easily they had accepted the things I had done over the past couple of years. I never thought anyone would understand everything I had gone through, unless they were there. But I had really been wrong. The one person who had surprised me though, was dad. I thought he would understand somewhat, but he seemed like he was avoiding me all together. I hated it, because I missed him so much. He was my only parent left. I couldn't afford, nor wanted to lose him too.

I stared down at the ground as my large, russet paws slowly pushed my body towards the house. The ground was damp from rain falling at some stage before I had arrived home. Some of the grass had died back with summer, though it wasn't that hot. I was basically lost in thought, staring down at the ground with sightless eyes. I only vaguely knew my surroundings.

I wondered if Skyla had found my note yet and what she was thinking. Would she have guessed where I had gone? Was she okay without me by her side like I usually was? God I hoped so. I felt like I was the owner of a puppy with her. It was just like letting your puppy loose in a drug dealer's lab and finding it an hour or so later, not knowing what it had gotten into or swallowed. Skyla worried me.

I phased back on the edge of the forest near home and slowly got dressed into the same clothes as yesterday. I looked around the house, sensing none of my family was home yet, but something was different. My senses heightened and my inner wolf turned wary. My eyes narrowed as I looked around. Something was different from when I had left, but I couldn't put my finger on what it was.

I went inside through the backdoor and checked the place out. Everything inside seemed to be in the place I had left it this morning. Going out the front door, I looked up to see the familiar old red truck I had worked on for Bella, in the driveway. My eyes narrowed out of confusion of how it had gotten there. I realised it must still work for it to be there, but who had driven it into the driveway? It couldn't have been Bella. She was with Edward in New York, wasn't she? Then I realised it was her scent and the rusted smell of the truck which had made things around the house seem different. The scent of the air around home was different.

"Bella?" I shouted, running around the house outside, trying to find her or whoever had driven her truck. I thought with been married to sparkles she would have a new vehicle by now.

Running to my old red shed, I stopped, seeing her eyeing the two bikes we had made together for what felt like lifetimes ago. Her hand was running over the seat and handlebars of my bike. She mustn't have notice my presence yet.

I smiled widely with seeing her, not believing she was here in front of me. "Hey," I murmured, startling her slightly. Bella's eyes shot up to my face. She had changed too. There wasn't as much colour in her face, until her gaze met mine. Then, I could have sworn she literally lit up like a nightstand lamp. She ran up to me and wrapped her arms around my neck tightly. I never thought I'd see this day again.

Instinctively, my arms wrapped around her too. I couldn't help but take a in a deep breath of her heavenly strawberry scent. God I had missed her! Too much!

"You're home, you're really home," she murmured faintly into my neck, almost to the point of sounding like she was sobbing. "I thought dad must have got his information wrong or something. I missed you so much Jacob." She pulled away slightly and placed a kiss on the corner of my mouth. I could have sworn I felt my heart skip a beat. I was in shock partly.

"I missed you too . . . how did you . . ." I trailed off, biting my tongue. "My grandmother of a gossiping father told your father, didn't he?" I sighed, shaking my head. I hadn't meant for so many people to know I was home before I knew what I was doing.

Within that moment of silence, I heard her heart beating. I felt my eyes go wide with shock and confusion. _Why wasn't she a vampire yet?_ _Why wasn't she with Edward right now? Did he know she was here with me? Had he come home already?_ She was supposed to have been married not long after I had left and then turned. . . So why hadn't it happened yet?

Looking down at Bella, I ran my hand over her heart through her light red top. I felt so confused. This had to be a dream. It just had to be. But when I closed my eyes, and reopened them, she was still standing there before me.

"You're heart is still beating . . . I thought. . ." I paused, not wanting to think or end that sentence.

I watched Bella shake her head and then cover my hand with her own before dropping it back down to her side. She took a step back and sighed. "I thought you may have heard. . . I didn't marry Edward. We aren't together and I hardly see him at all now. All the Cullens' apart from Carlisle and Esme have moved on. They come back from time to time, so I hear, but I don't see them, or _him_. He left me Jake. He left me again at the time you left, and so did you."

I didn't know what to think within that moment. Had she changed her mind and that was why she wasn't with Edward right now? Or had he just left her like the last time? I was starting to think he was only with Bella because he didn't want me with her.

I growled to myself. "Rachel told me the Cullens' had moved on, but, I thought that included you. I thought you would have been one of them by now." I touched her cheek softly, looking into her eyes. I loved Bella's milk chocolate eyes. "Bella, tell me. Why didn't you marry him? I thought that's what you wanted?"

I could see sadness in Bella's eyes and sense she was nervous. "Because . . . when you left, I felt like I had lost everything that meant anything to me Jacob. I called off the wedding, because I love you. I wanted you and I still do." Bella turned her back and walked over towards the edge of the forest, tears flowing down her cheeks. I may not have been able to see her face to see the tears, but I could smell and sense them. I couldn't just leave things like that without knowing the full story.

I was taken aback by what she had said. _She loved me?_ I really could not believe this was real. It had to be a dream about to turn into a nightmare. It was too good to be true.

I walked up behind her quickly and grabbed her wrist lightly. She turned around swiftly and stared up into my eyes, like she was searching for something. I shook my head, not sure what to say now after I hearing how she felt. I still loved Bella, but I didn't know if I could trust her to know I wouldn't be hurt again. It was bad enough I hadn't just ran off already. I was jeopardising the two years of work I had put into making myself numb.

"But it's _still_ not enough to know who you love more? Is it?" I questioned in a deep and serious tone. I could see by the look on her face and the things I was sensing within her, that she still loved Edward, apart from that, I had no understanding upon. But then, if it were true, if she still loved him, why had she called off the wedding? Why was she here? It didn't make sense.

I shook my head out of frustration and let her wrist go, taking a step back. My whole body was beginning to shake. "I can't go through this _again_ Bella. I can't and I won't." My own words hurt me, but I knew I wasn't physically, emotionally or mentally strong enough to go through it all again.

"Do you remember when _he_ left me? It took months for me to come back to normality, and when I did, it was because of you. When you left . . . it was worse. I was blank inside. I longed for you. You were my best friend Jake. You left me. He left me. I love you Jake. Isn't that good enough?" Her voice was cracked as tears seeped from her eyes. She wiped them away with the backs of her hands quickly, but more broke loose soon after. Bella turned so I wouldn't see her face or the tears.

I bit my lip, shaking my head as I stared down at the ground. "It isn't the love of a best friend I need any more Bella," I murmured in a faint tone. "I need what you feel for Edward." I closed my eyes, feeling myself starting to shake uncontrollably. I took a step back away from Bella, taking in deep breaths to try and calm myself. It had been a long time since I felt like I was going to lose it. So long I felt like I had almost forgotten how to calm myself.

Slowly I reopened my eyes, trying to calm myself down enough to respond to her again. "I could never forget that Bella. It was just how I felt, but I wanted to be that way. You have no idea what I did to get that way. Anything was better than the pain."

Seeing and hearing Bella still crying, was only making me want to comfort her more, but I knew I couldn't when I was so close to phasing. Slowly, Bella turned around. Her eyes were puffy from crying and her cheeks were wet from the tears. My thumb ran over her cheeks slowly, wiping the tears away. "Do you want me to just say yes I love you more than a best friend and forget about everything, even if it wasn't true? You both left me, and you both told me you never would."

"No, of course not Bella, that wouldn't be fair. Over time, people change. Their minds and personalities change. I've changed too. I don't know what I want anymore. But the one thing that hasn't changed for me is how much I love you. When I ask myself what I want, it comes up blank. And then, when I ask myself if I still want you, it's always the same answer. _Hell yeah_! I just don't want to be hurt again Bella. I left, because you had him. You didn't need me."

"I did need you Jacob! You're my sun. When you left, I felt lifeless. I felt like I had died. I know people change their minds. I had with the wedding. . ." she trailed off, hanging her head as she kept on walking.

My hands were still shaking at my sides. I could feel my blood pumping harder and harder through my heart. I didn't know how to tell Bella how I felt about her. I didn't know how to tell or show her how much I wanted her by my side. "Bella, I have a friend back in New York. She loves me, I know she does. I've heard her thoughts. She understands me, more than I even know or understand myself and I know her just the same way . . . I'm protective as hell over her! We've been through so much together . . . I haven't been so close to someone apart from you. But, I don't have any feeling for her outside of friendship. And I know why!"

I paused abruptly, my eyes slightly wide as I stared down at the dirt between us. I had almost told her everything I felt about her. The whole secret I had kept since I had turned into a werewolf. . . I bit my lip, looking to the side, hoping Bella wouldn't ask, but I was naive to think that even for a second. I knew Bella better than to think that.

She stopped hearing me and turned around, looking into my eyes. "Jake, tell me. Please tell me." Her voice was basically begging for my answer.

I leaned up against the bark of a pine tree. Crossing my arms over my chest, I stared down at the ground with blind eyes, thinking about how to answer Bella's question. I knew what I was going to answer with, just not _how_. I knew my answer would either make us or break us.

Kicking my boot against the tree, I sighed deeply and bit my lip harder. Turning away from Bella, I looked out to the far horizon of stormy clouds. This was the hardest thing I had ever had to admit or say.

"You're my imprint, Bella," I murmured almost silently.

* * *

><p>Big hangover guys! I wonder what Bella's reaction will be.<p>

Keep those awesome reviews coming in! I love each and everyone of you for them. There's nothing better than writing something and then hearing what the fans and readers think.

Have the next chapter up soon.

Love you all.

- Sky x


	10. Believe It or Not

**Believe It or Not**

_This Chapter was Inspired by, Bleeding Love – Leona Lewis _

_Escape – Enrique Iglesias_

I watched as all the blood in Bella's face drew away after she had heard my words. My jaw clenched with worry of what was going through her head. She was just standing there, staring into my eyes, like a statue.

"Bella, say something, please," I begged. "You're scaring me."

Speaking seemed to have broken her free of the zombie like state she had been frozen in. Bella started shaking nervously as her lips pulled together, pursing. I could sense she was searching for words to speak with but couldn't find any. Her mouth opened to speak but nothing came out at first.

"Jake, no, no, you can't! No!" Bella was shaking hard as she sat back against a log behind her and rested her head in her hands. I hadn't ever seen her so pale before. I knew she understood what imprinting meant. She knew what it was, too. "I can't control it Bella," I murmured, sitting down beside her. "It's been like this since I turned – since I saw you in the meadow. . ." I shook my head, thinking how messed up this was. To my surprise, I suddenly felt Bella lean into my side and heard her sigh. Slowly I wrapped my arms around her, wanting to do nothing but comfort her.

"I know you can't control it. . . I can see it now. I knew from the second it happen after you explained to me what it was. Just . . . I thought, after, I had asked you that day in the shed, when you said you hadn't imprinted on anyone, I thought I had read you wrong. But I was stupid to think that. I did know; I just didn't want to admit it. . . Why haven't you told me before?" She lifted her head up and gazed into my eyes.

"I didn't want you to feel obligated to be with me because of it."

Bella looked away nodding, though stayed leaning into my side. Her hands rested in her lap as her eyes closed. "I'd never feel obligated to be with you Jake. Never. But I'm scared. . . If Edward comes back; I'll be in his arms. It's not like he's coming back though. If he wanted me, he'd be here now. But he isn't, so, I guess we don't have to worry. . ."

My eyes closed too as I took in a deep and silent breath to calm myself down after hearing that. I knew she still loved him. But after he had left _again_, I thought maybe something had been changed by that. I thought maybe she would stay with me this time. I guess I had been stupid thinking that for even a second. Of course she would go running back to him. She had that many times before. Why would now be any different?

I felt Bella relax in my arms and lean into my chest. I smiled down upon her and brushed my hand down her soft, creamy skinned cheek. I leaned back against the log a little but kept my arms around her, my hands covering her own.

"Bella, I love you, I always have and always will, but . . ." I trailed off, shaking my head.

"But?" she whispered, looking up to my face in wonder, fear and doubt.

My hold around Bella loosened. "I don't know what to say Bella. You just told me everything I need to know – that he's not around – but, if he does come back, and you stay with him, I can't be around anymore." I didn't know what else to say. I didn't want Bella to think I was abandoning her too, and again, but my words were the truth. I couldn't stay here and see _him_ with her, knowing it should be me protecting her with my own life when he wants to take it away and turn her into the very thing I hated the most.

Bella rose to her feet, standing over me like I was the child and she was the parent about to tell the child off for something they had done. When I looked up to her face, I could see the tears seeping down her cheeks again and her index finger pointing at me. Now I really did feel like the bad kid. . . "Edward isn't here! You have nothing to worry about. No Jacob! You're not leaving me again! It's killing me. Promise me you won't leave again! This is your home. You belong here. I want you here. I want you to stay!" Her hand lifted to wipe the tears away from under her eyes and cheeks. I hadn't seen Bella so emotional before. I knew her to be emotional, but not like this. It worried me.

I looked at her with hurt eyes. It hurt to know just how much I had hurt her just by leaving. I thought by leaving I would have taken all the pain away when I left. I thought by being here I was hurting her, but leaving had only made things worse for the both of us. I should have known better than think she would be better off with me out in her life. The further away from each other we were, the more we hurt to have each other back. But I hadn't thought it would be possible for Bella to want me, to miss and love me, when she already had and loved _him_.

Once again, I found myself not knowing what to say. Never before had I not known what to say so many times in the same day. It was typical of Bella, making me act differently to how I usually am.

I didn't know what to say, because I hadn't promised Rachel I wouldn't leave – my own sister, even when she begged me, but this was different. I loved Bella more than my own life. But I didn't want to make a promise I couldn't keep, and I knew I couldn't keep this promise.

I stood and re-wrapped my arms around Bella. Using my index finger, I wiped away her tears. "Bella, I've already told you. I'm only here for a couple of days. I got to go back and finish things off in New York. Skyla doesn't know where I am. She'll start freaking out if I don't come back soon. I will be back after that, though." That was only the half-truth. I didn't know if I would be back to stay permanently. I would only stay, though, if Bella chose me. I was sure she knew that too.

Bells shook her head and gulped. "No, you won't come back. You promised me that I could count on you to be there, you'd never let me down and you broke that promise Jacob. You and me, we're already together right now. Don't go back. Don't go. You won't come back, I know you won't," she chocked through tears.

I sighed. She knew me too well. "That's why I don't want to make any more promises I can't keep, Bella," I whispered huskily. I just held her in my arms as she stared up into my eyes. I took in a deep breath to keep myself calm and listened to her heart beating in her chest and against my body. I felt amazing to feel it against me again. . . I didn't think I would ever hear it beating again, let alone feel it. I never thought I would see Bella alive again either. She was alive and in my arms, for now, and that's all that mattered at the time.

I sighed, knowing no matter what I said, Bella wouldn't believe it unless I proved her wrong – which I knew wouldn't be easy. I sighed once more and looked away from her. I understood the things she was saying and why Bella was saying them. It was going to take a lot more than just words to bring back the trust I once had in her, too. Did I trust Bella? No, I didn't, and I was probably stupid for even thinking of trying to trust her again. That's just how much I love her.

When I looked back to her, I noticed more tears running down her cheeks. It physically hurt to see those tears, knowing I was the one who had made them. It hurt to see her in pain and fearful. I knew Bella was scared of the imprint. I was too. . . I didn't understand why though. Maybe it was the thought and knowing she was meant to be mine and that might not happen. I knew she still loved him, but I loved her more than he loved her or she loves him. I'd loved Bella before the imprint, even. It was true love I had for her. It was just some wolfy thing to keep the genes of our tribe and the wolves going on to the next generation. . . I knew it was true love. I hadn't ever fallen for any girl I'd ever seen, other than Bella.

"If you don't believe that I'll come back, then, come back to New York with me. I'll have to come back then. Bella," I paused, running my hand down the side of her face again, wiping away the tears down her warm cheeks. Her eyes were red from crying and looked tired. "Don't cry," I whispered, leaning closer to her. "It hurts me to see you like this."

She nodded and murmured, "Alright. I'll go back with you, but I need to talk to Charlie first." I hadn't heard a word she spoken. . .

My hand ran down her cheek once more as I stared into her eyes – her beautiful milk chocolate eyes. . . Before I knew what was happening or what was happening, my body took over my mind. I felt my lips press against Bella's in a heated and warm kiss which made my heart feel warmer than it had in a very long time. I felt and sensed Bella was hesitant at first, probably from shock, like I was, but then, she actually leaned into my body and mouth. I felt her arm wrap around my neck and her hand on the back of my head, her fingers going through my hair.

I snapped out of it, pulling away out of shock of my abrupt actions. I hadn't meant to do that. I really hadn't. "Bella, I – I'm sorry. I don't know what just came over me." My words were quick and breathless as I spoke. I shook my head, trying to believe it myself. I hadn't ever done that before. I took a step back from her, biting my lip. How had that just happened without my realising it first? I then realised it was my inner wolf that had done it. He wanted Bella. He was trying to reach out to her and make her see it.

I felt Bella's hand run lightly across my wrists. I was staring down at the ground until then. When I met her gaze, she smiled slightly. There seemed to be more colour in her face than there was ten minutes ago. Had I done that, to her? Just by kissing her?

"No, please don't be sorry Jake," she said softly. I could feel her eyes were actually holding mine for once. My body felt like it had gone into a trance like state. Looking into Bella's eyes, I could tell, she had enjoyed that kiss. "I don't mind you kissing me," she ended it with.

I stared at her in shock once more. I had been ready to duck from one of her punches like last time I had kissed her without asking, but she honestly meant what she had said. She really didn't mind. Maybe she had changed her mind after all. . . Maybe the kiss had done it.

I watched as she licked her lips. I felt a light redness come to my cheeks and tried to fight off a cocky smile coming to my feature. I was sure she, of all people, would notice I was trying to fight it. I couldn't resist licking my own lips at that point. _Strawberry._ Suddenly I sensed how intensely Bella was holding my gaze. The air had turned thick between us. My hands from around her waist slipped up to her jaw where they stayed. I wanted to kiss her again. The last one had been too fast for my liking. I craved to feel her lips upon my own once more, and to taste that sweet fruit flavour in my mouth again. It was like every fibre in my body needed it to live.

I felt her arms wrap around my neck as my lips brushed against hers softly and slowly, testing to make sure I wasn't reading her wrong, but I hadn't. She stood up on her tippy-toes and gripped my neck slightly. I smiled mentally and deepened the kiss. It was the opposite of how I had kissed her years ago on top of the mountain.

This kiss was soft, slow and innocent for what I felt for her. I had no need or want, to be rough and passionate like I had back then. Bella knew how strongly I felt for her now. I was just happy standing here with Bella, feeling and tasting her on my lips like she was my own.

I pushed her a few steps back against the old red wooden door of my shed without breaking the connection between us. I licked her lower lip in temptation, smirking against her mouth as Bella pulled my body closer to her own and parted my lips. I breathed in her strawberry scent and sighed contently. She was so sweet it was taking everything in my being to control myself around her. She held me tightly, tighter than I ever thought or imagined she would. I could sense she wanted this more than anything. It was just the two of us now. It was _easy as breathing_ – how it always should have been.

When I pulled away, I held her gaze and pecked her lips softly, lingering slightly, savouring the moment. I loved moments like these and the feeling of Bella's mouth against my own. It felt like we were made for one and other. She was perfect in my eyes . . . everything was perfect.

It felt like hours before I pulled away, but at the same time, not long enough. I could kiss Bella day and night and never get sick of it. I loved her too much to ever get sick of kissing or loving her. I needed her more than I needed air.

Suddenly her words of agreeing to go back to New York with me hit my head hard. It hadn't registered in my brain she had answered til that moment. I smirked, keeping her pinned against the shed and my body. "Alright," I whispered and kissed her again. My smile turned from cocky to sweet, feeling things I'd never felt before.

"What's New York like? I'll have to think of a good reason to why I want to leave with you. Will you come over tomorrow when I ask Charlie?"

I felt all the joy and highness of the kiss flood out of my heart and then be replaced with fear and regret. I couldn't see Charlie. He would have too many hard questions to throw in my direction, and none of them I would be able to answer without giving away the truth, and the truth would no doubt land me in jail. I knew no doubt Bella would see what I was thinking and feeling as she still stared into my eyes. We could both read each other like books, at times.

I took a step back and bit my lip nervously, staring at the ground near the shed. After a long hesitant and silent moment, I looked up to Bella's eyes. "Sure," I smiled half-heartedly, hoping she hadn't noticed the difference in the way I was acting. "For some reason, I already get the feeling he doesn't like New York," I chuckled, trying and hoping I had covered up any thoughts of her thinking I was hiding something, for hesitating to answer her question. I didn't want Bella to find out those things yet.

I saw her bite her lower lip, knowing that was a habit she had, showed when she was nervous. _What was she nervous about?_ "Okay, I guess I better get home to Charlie and start cooking dinner," she murmured with a small smile. Bella turned and headed towards her truck and then stopped and turned around back in my direction. "Welcome home again Jake," she spoke softly and then got into the driver's seat and was turning on the engine of the old truck. I was surprised the rust bucket still ran with the same loud engine roaring to life. I thought maybe it would be louder now it was even older. . .

My hand's gripped slightly at my sides with thinking of her leaving my side so soon. Two years had been by far too many without seeing or hearing from Bella. I had missed her more than I ever thought I would.

I thought fast, and without thinking things through fully first. I ran up to her truck's window and said, "Do you have to? I've missed you so much. Have dinner here if you want." I had forgotten completely about the reasons to why I didn't want to see Charlie. I was just thinking about Bella.

Her hand came out the rolled down window and went to where my used-to-be-long-hair would have been falling over my shoulders. I hadn't realised what she was doing at first and then I remembered she liked my hair longer, like it used to before I had phased. I had to say it was _longer _than what it was when I left, but it wasn't as long as it used to be. Her hand then touched my chest, over my heart. I looked down to her hand and then back up to her face and smiled.

"Are you sure it's okay for us to have dinner here? I'll have to call Charlie."

"Of course it is." I couldn't remember the last time we had had dinner together. Then, I remembered Charlie existed. . . I could also see with how Bella was speaking, she was wondering about something, as though she doubted something. I knew I really hadn't gotten away with how I had answered her. I sighed slightly.

I smiled widely with seeing Bella opening the door of her truck and jumping out, closing it behind her and then looked up at my face. I never thought I would be so glad to see such a simple scene of Bella getting out of her truck. It meant everything to me.

"Are you okay? You looked like you weren't sure about talking to Charlie about going back to New York with me."

As her gaze met mine, I bit my lip and quickly skipping her question of being okay. "It wasn't anything to do with that, Bella," I half scoffed nervously, trying not to sound like I was in fact nervous and covered my true voice up.

"Then what does it have to do with Jake?" she looked up at my face with curious eyes. There was one thing about Bella I both hated and admired – she _never_ let up on things. I knew there was no getting out of this once she picked up on it. . .

I winced hearing her direct question. I knew there were no loopholes with direct questions and I couldn't get out of it without lying and I _hated_ lying to Bella. I sighed. "I got into some . . . trouble in New York." I knew I was really in for it now. I knew Rach was going to be hard enough to handle, but Bella. . . this was going to be a billion times worse.

She stared into my eyes, deeply with concern. "Jake, what happened? What did you do? Tell me I want to know. It can't be that bad. You didn't do something stupid, did you?"

_If you only knew, Bella_, I thought. I had been holding her hand in my own until she yanked it back and started questioning me. I had been feeling somewhat calmer and relaxed holding it. Without her touch, my hands gripped into fists at my side and my body started shaking slightly with thinking of all the stupid things I had done over the years. I knew now how immature I had been and couldn't believe it. "That appends on how bad you think getting into fights, having fake IDs, stealing, drinking, fighting vampires, and been arrested for processing an illegal substances is. I've done too many stupid things over the years Bella," I murmured without looking at her. Now I felt really guilty for all the things I had done. I looked up at her after a moment, not sure what her reaction was going to be.

I shook my head, stepping back against the wall of my shed, looking up at the darkening sky. I could tell rain was well on its way, but it was the least of my worries. I was scared now, that Bella wouldn't love me as much because of all the stupid things I had done. I really did wish she didn't know about this stuff, but I knew sooner or later it would have to come out and the sooner was the better.

I watched her carefully, wondering what she was thinking. I knew Bella would know it wasn't like me to go looking for trouble. I just hoped she understood. But I knew when I saw her eyes once again misting with tears, she didn't understand – not helping I hadn't told her _why_ I had done those things.

"DRUGS JACOB! What has gotten into you? Fighting with vampires? Are you trying to get yourself killed so I would never see you again?" she shouted and started shaking her head. "You don't love me Jacob. You wouldn't do those things to yourself if you loved me." Bella spun around and headed back towards her truck.

My hand slowly brushed along her wrist, trying to get her to believe everything was fine. But she turned away too quickly. I didn't have a chance to say anything before she turned away and headed towards her truck. I could sense and feel the emotions she was feeling and could relate to them easily.

My hands turned to tight fists again. She wasn't even going to let me explain! Did she think I just did all those things for no reason? I growled at myself and took off running after Bella, grabbing her wrist and stopping her from going any further. "Tell me why you want to turn your back right now Bella!" I half shouted, though in a calm-ish tone. Bella half turned around with tears in her glaring dark eyes. I could tell by the look on her face she wasn't going to answer. "I know why Bella, because I've been there! You want to escape the pain and fear don't you? So did I Bella. I fought vampires to protect people. I took drugs, drank and partied to keep the pain off my mind. I wasn't trying to kill myself Bella. I just wanted to forget the pain, that's it." I breathed heavy after speaking. I held Bella's gaze the whole time. I could see fear in them, but there wasn't just fear now, but anger too. I couldn't blame her. "I know the things I did were stupid Bella, but I don't know where I'd be now if I hadn't done them. I was scared of phasing in case I didn't shift back. I didn't know what to think, feel or say, so I got in trouble to take the fear and pain away." I didn't know if going into detail would help things or not. I just wanted her to know and understand what I was feeling and why I had done those things in the first place.

I could tell Bella didn't want to look at me at that moment, but she did anyway. "What you speak of love Jacob, I don't understand. If anything happens to you Jacob, it would break me. I called off the wedding for you Jacob Black! You! I can't live without you. You didn't need any of that to take the pain away. What you needed . . . was back in Forks. It was me!" She blinked through tears and stared at my face. "Jacob, the pain you felt, it wasn't just your pain. It was mine too. I remember how the imprint works, what we were told around the campfire that night before the fight with the newborns. You feel what I feel."

I listened to Bella's words closely. She was right, somewhat. I shook my head, trying to remember I had to stay calm around her, but it was easier thought than done. "I know what I needed Bella, and I know what I need now – I need you to be mine. It hurt to see you with him, after everything we had been through after what he had done. It still hurts to think back. I needed you to take the pain away, but I couldn't depend on you being there when you were with him." Every word I had spoken was true. "If that were true Bella, then why don't you understand why I needed to escape from it all? All I wanted was to feel numb and blank. I didn't want to think or feel. The things I took – take – stopped the phasing and the painful memories . . . if it didn't stop the phasing and pain, I'd be a real wolf now Bella. I wouldn't have shifted back. I was afraid of shifting for months because I knew what would happen. I was lost Bella, I – I still am."

She shook her head, taking a few steps towards where I stood. "You shouldn't have left in the first place Jake. We could have been together and happy all this time after I had called off the wedding."

Bella's words stung, but then I reminded myself she wouldn't have called off the wedding if I hadn't left, at least, I didn't think so. I didn't think Bella would have realised if I hadn't left in the first place. . . I sighed, shaking my head and took a step closer to her, wrapping my arms around her tightly and brought her into my chest. I just needed to feel Bella against my body there and then, to know this wasn't one of those dreams I awoke from gasping for air and dripping in sweat. My hand brushed the back of hers. She looked up to my face and wrapped her arms around my sides, resting her face on my chest.

"I'm here now. That's all that matters, but Bella, I can't help but think you wouldn't have called off the wedding if I hadn't left," I murmured huskily, looking down to her, holding her gaze. "I'm sorry, but that is how I feel."

All I got in response was the feeling of Bella nodding her head against my chest and her arms wrap around my back, with her hold tightening along with it. I placed a kiss on her forehead and brushed my hand down her cheek. It felt so nice to be holding Bella in my arms – someone I truly loved, instead of some stranger in New York or someone like Skyla, who I was only friends with.

After only a few minutes of standing there in silence, holding one and other, I began to smell the sweet and fresh scent of rain and then it began to fall upon us. Bella took a step back to look up at my face. She had been crying again. I could tell by the glassy look in her eyes.

"Are you still going to stay?" I asked in a faint tone, hoping for a yes. But instead of speaking, Bella swallowed hard and nodded. She was lost for words. I could sense it.

I took her hand and led us inside in the warmth and dryness of the house. Bella's arms wrapped around her body as she headed over to the couch and curled up in the corner, beside the arm rest. She was slightly cold and wet; I could tell by the way she hugged herself so tightly and the darker colours on her clothes from the rain. Taking a few steps, I sat back in the couch and wrapped my arms around Bella again, taking a deep breath in of her strong, heavenly scent. I instantly relaxed and felt her curl into my side with her hand resting on my chest.

"You're so warm," she whispered lightly, closing her eyes slowly and rested her head on her hand. "I've felt so cold since you left."

I hadn't realised it until now, but I had felt cold too, without Bella. I looked down to her, stroking the length of her arm. "Me too Bella," I whispered.

Her eyes met mine. "I love you Jacob," she whispered, fisting my shirt. "I'm sorry for not seeing that soon enough. I'm sorry I've hurt and used you so much. You deserve better than that. I'm so sorry Jake," she cried, leaning into my side so I couldn't see her face.

My arm around her shoulders tightened as my index finger ran down the side of her face. I knew I was probably stupid in thinking I would never be hurt by Bella again, but at that moment, I really didn't care what pain I would end up facing. "I love you too Bella, more than my own life. But please stop crying. I hate seeing you upset and sad. It kills me to see you like this, Bells." I slipped down in the chair so I was looking up at her face. I smiled slightly and touched her chin so she would open her eyes and look at me. She wiped her eyes and cheeks with the backs of her hands and nodded, wrapping her arms around my neck, tightly.

"I don't know how you keep forgiving me with how much I put you through Jake," she sobbed into my shirt, trying to stop the tears. I kissed her cheek and ran my hands up and down her back, not saying a word because I only felt like I would say the wrong thing.

It was hard to forget the pain, but that _is_ just how much I loved Bella. She meant the whole world and more to me. Without her, I wouldn't have a world to live in. She was my heart, my air, my life, my being, my world, my universe. My all. . . I couldn't live without her.

"I guess, I better call Charlie," Bella murmured and sat up, leaning over the side of the arm rest to the phone sitting on the old wooden coffee table. It looked like Rachel had been doing some updating in technology since I had left. The phone was new. It was about time someone updated things around the place.

When Charlie picked up the phone, he could tell Bella was upset though she didn't admit it and Charlie stopped asking. Dad was already there with Charlie, watching the game. He was wondering where Bella had gotten to and sounded more than pleased when she told him about having dinner at my place. The only thing was now; I had to find enough food for the six of us. No doubt Rachel was going to be home at any minute with Paul on her tail.

Bella smiled lightly as she hung up the phone and settled back in my arms. I stroked her cheek, looking down at her face and smiled. It felt so right, sitting like this, together in one and others arms. I hadn't felt anything that seemed so right before. It was like, Bella was where she meant to be and I was where I was meant to be.

"This feels so right," Bella murmured abruptly. She glanced up at my face as I smiled. "You read my mind," I replied in a soft tone. She smiled back and leaned up to kiss me again. It felt like flames of lightning went through the two of us this time. My hands rested on either side of Bella's waist. Her hands steadied herself on my shoulders as she kissed me slowly. We both jumped hearing the door go. Looking up, I turned red to see who it was.

"Whoops, sorry for 'CB' man," Paul grinned, heading straight into the kitchen with Rachel coming in behind him. My eyes narrowed in confusion of what he meant by '_CB_.'

I looked at Bella whose cheeks were redder than mine. She shook her, not sure either. Rachel was rolling her eyes at Paul.

"What does _CB_, mean?" I leaned over the side of the couch to see Paul in the kitchen with a ham sandwich in his hand, two mouthfuls taken out of it already. He grinned. "Cockblocked."

My face flushed even redder than before as my eyes rolled – I should have known. Bella was trying not to laugh by putting her hands over her mouth. "Yeah I don't think that was going to happen, Paul," I murmured.

"What? Can't get it up Black?" I could tell that grin had grown all the more by his tone of voice. Bella burst out laughing – and here was thinking I couldn't be any more redder after the last comment, but I had been wrong. My face felt hotter than I'd ever felt it before. . . I would have said something if it wasn't for Bella being there. She didn't need to know that part of my life in New York just yet.

"Leave him alone," Rachel scowled, hitting Paul over the shoulder.

"I will, when dinner is here. Speaking of, when is that going to be?"

"Is that all you think about?" I questioned, leaning against the couch again.

"Hmm, apart from, sex, sex, sex, and more sex, pretty much," Paul answered casually, grabbing something else from the fridge. My eyes rolled again, thinking _I should have known._ Bella giggled at my expression, which made a smirk come over my face. I liked seeing her laugh and giggle; it made me happy to see she was happy.

Glancing over at Rachel's face, I saw she too was slightly red and shaking her head. "I'm putting it on now, Paul," she said in a deep and annoyed tone.

"Still old same perverted Paul I see. Not much has changed around here after all." I looked over at Rach again and saw her grabbing some things from the fridge to cook with.

I smirked at Bella and took her hand in mine, leading us outside onto the veranda. I took her out back where no one would see us. It was still raining, but thankfully the veranda was sheltered.

"What are we doing out here, Jake?" Bella whispered, knowing Paul may have been able to hear us.

I brushed my lips lightly over hers. "That," I said huskily in her ear, smirking crookedly as she looked me in the eye. I felt her arms wound around my neck and her finger tips graze the skin of my neck, threading through my hair. I growled playfully as I felt Bella's lips on mine again. She smiled, giggling as I lifted her up in my arms, sitting her on the railing of the veranda with my arms wrapped around her back. Her hands rested against my chest and felt her shaky lips connect to mine again. I could sense she was smiling, even know I couldn't see or feel it.

She was slightly hesitant with taking the lead. My hands slipped up her back and to either side of her jaw where I felt her legs wrap around my waist. I was slightly taken aback, wondering if she was just trying to keep her balance on the railing or hinting to take it to the next step. I gazed into her eyes as she smiled. I thought I saw her eyes darken slightly, and I knew I had seen it when I felt her hand lightly brush along the skin of my stomach, above my jeans. I shuddered, not expecting it. I was in shock in a way. I didn't think she would be up to this stage yet.

"Bella . . ." I breathed huskily, looking down at her, searching her face and eyes. Reaching up, her hand brushed along the side of my face and she kissed me again, slow and passionate. We both jumped with hearing, "Dinners ready, whoops. I'm sorry." It was Rachel, this time. I felt my cheeks flush as Bella jumped down from the raining.

"It's okay Rachel," I murmured, looking away and rubbing the back of my neck. I could see from the corner of my eye Bella was smiling slightly.

"Can I talk to you for a second, alone?"

"Uh sure, I guess." Bella looked up at my face. "Go inside, I'll be right in."

"Okay," she nodded and passed Rachel in the kitchen. Rach came outside and closed the door behind her so no one would hear.

"What are you doing Jacob?" she hissed quietly. I looked at her in disbelief. I didn't feel like this was Rach I was talking to anymore. She usually understood me.

"What do you mean, what am I doing?" I half snapped.

"Please don't tell me you really think she won't hurt you again, Jacob! Please don't tell me you're that naïve."

My eyes narrowed as I felt a strong shudder come over me. "It's my life Rachel, whether you like it or not, I love Bella and I'll keep fighting for her. You don't know the truth, so stay out of it," I growled and walked inside.

I could see from the corner of my eye, Rachel was shaking her head. I didn't care what she or anyone said or thought, I loved Bella, and she was the only who knew the full _truth._

When I walked out into the lounge room, I saw dad and Charlie sitting in the couch. _Perfect. . ._ I really needed Charlie's questions coming out when I was already upset with Rachel. I really thought she would be glad that Bella had finally chosen me, but, maybe she was right. In a way, I didn't believe this was real – I didn't believe Bella had fully chosen me. I thought and felt like I was second best. She was only choosing me because _he_ wasn't here.I just hoped that wasn't the case, and I knew only time would tell. In the meantime, I wouldn't let _anyone_ pull me away from her. I loved Bella too much to let others beliefs pull me away now.

"Welcome back home Jacob," Charlie said as I broke of the dazed state of staring at the back of the couch.

"Uh, thanks Charlie."

"You okay, son?"

"Yeah thanks, was just thinking of something." I gave him a half-hearted smile as Bella came over and hugged me tightly. Rachel then came out of the kitchen with dinner in her hands. Paul followed her with more.

"Dinners ready," she announced with a genuine smile, setting the plates of roast beef, salad and vegetables down on the table and placed a knife and fork neatly on either side of the plates. It felt like years since I had seen this scene, in fact, it had been years. Between my running off to New York; and Rachel moving away for school . . . I had really missed this, more than I ever thought I would.

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><p>Hey guys,<p>

Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Wasn't able to upload it when I had it written and ready as the site was down. As always thank you so much for all you're wonderful feedback, I love hearing and I cannot wait to hear more from you all.

Have a great weekend!

- Sky x


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